探究中文版《令人难以宽慰的农庄》I

[aqiun]

 微信读书上对照着看了几页，又手贱了。实在因为Stella Gibbons这本小说很妙，戏仿兼恶搞当时流行的苦情乡村小说，同名改编电影里青春无敌的Kate Beckinsale也叫人念念不忘。中译本是新星出版社的，原文的俏皮有部分遗失，挺可惜的。

 

 

其实书名就不好翻，我暗自是叫它《冷藉农庄》的。（11/9补：突然想到可以起名为《冷粥农庄》，冰凉的稠粥是Cold Comfort的具像，何况粥在前几章多次出场。）

 

从第一章记下几处挖个浅浅的坑：

 

'Flora inherited, however, from her father a strong will and from her mother a slender ankle. The one had not been impaired by always having her own way'

 

译：芙洛拉从父亲那里继承了一种坚强的意志，从母亲那里继承了一双纤细的脚踝，它们一个没有因她一贯的任性而动摇，

 

评：‘一种’‘一双’可免。后句oxymoron拟改：‘前者没有因她一贯得以我行我素而消磨’ 

 

 

'until she could decide where to bestow herself and her hundred pounds a year.'

 

译：直到她决定好要去哪里安置自己和那每年一百英镑的收入为止。

 

评：这个bestow 可作‘授予’或本土化更重的‘幸临’，‘安置’里大小姐态度全无。

 

 

'He was, she reflected, almost rudely like a tortoise; and she was glad her friend kept none as pets or they might have suspected mockery.'

 

译：她想，他几乎粗鲁得就像一只乌龟；她很高兴她的朋友并没有养什么宠物，否则它们可能会怀疑自己被嘲弄了。

 

评：'rudely'是副词啊，这句可能是第一页里最好玩的一句：‘他与乌龟的相似程度近乎粗鲁/冒犯’

 

 

'Mrs Smiling was awaiting her in the drawing-room overlooking the river. '

 

译：斯麦林夫人正一边在客厅里等她，一边俯视着河水。

 

评：‘斯麦林夫人正在面临河景的客厅里等她。’

 

 

'She was reputed to have the largest and finest collection of these garments in the world.'

 

译：她被誉为全世界范围内拥有最多和最好的此类收藏品的人，

 

评：‘她的收藏被誉为全世界范围内最大最好的此类收藏，’

 

 

'who had flown to such remote places as the Jhonsong La, Lake M’Luba-M’Luba and the Kwanhattons'

 

译：而飞到了卢巴人的琼松拉湖或是夸那顿之类的偏远地方

 

评：这些拗口古怪的名字的喜剧效果不是单单音译可以传达的，最好用一些生僻汉字之类。

 

 

'Another was, ‘Nonsense, Flora. You imagine things.’

 

Yet Mrs Smiling herself was not without the softer graces of imagination.'

 

译：另一句是：“胡说，芙洛拉。你是在幻想一些事情。” 然而就算是斯麦林夫人自己，也并非没有“幻想”所特有的那种温柔风度。

 

评：拟作：‘你这都是幻想。’ ‘然而幻想自有它温柔体贴的好处，就算是斯麦林夫人自己也不能免俗。’（？）

 

 

'been serious about games and contemptuous of the arts,'

 

译：[/i]那个以严肃的态度对待游戏却对艺术不屑一顾的[/i]

 

评：‘那个看重体育比赛、看轻艺术的’

 

 

'I think you are very fortunate, darling, to have got through all those dreadful years at school and college, where you had to play all those games, without getting to like them yourself. '

 

译：亲爱的，我认为你很幸运，总算结束了学校和大学里的那些可怕年头，在那儿，虽然你自己并不喜欢这些游戏，却必须得把它们玩个遍才行。

 

评：幸运的落足点好像错了：‘亲爱的，你在那些可怕的学校里熬了那么多年，不得不加入各种运动，倒是没有喜欢上那些东西，真是非常幸运了。’

 

 

'and laughing at the kind of joke other people didn’t think at all funny, and going for country walks, and not being asked to express opinions about things (like love, and isn’t so-and-so peculiar?). So then she said, oh, well, didn’t I think I could try to be a little less slack, because of Father,'

 

译：能够嘲笑别人一点也不觉得好笑的笑话，可以去乡下散步，不用被要求表达对事物的看法（比如爱，比如难道不认为某某东西很古怪吗？）于是她说，噢，好吧，难道我不觉得自己可以试着稍微放松一些吗

 

评：嘲笑笑话怎么说得通，该是‘被...笑话逗乐’，so-and-so是‘某某人’，a little less slack是双重否认，女教练在鼓励她‘怠工得别那么彻底’

 

 

'Or book-keeping. Or bee-keeping.'

 

译:或者记账。或者养蜂

 

评：直译的话无从体现这里斯麦林夫人也想不出什么合适的，只是在free association -- ‘或做会计。或做筷子。’？

 

 

'‘Who, pray?’ demanded Mrs Smiling, rudely; she was much perturbed.'

 

译: “谁，请问？”斯麦林夫人粗鲁地问；她的心里七上八下。

 

评：“和谁”。与其‘七上八下’不如‘她的平静荡然无存’

 

 

' I prefer the idea of arrangement to that other statement, that marriages are made in Heaven. My marriage, Mary, will be arranged into Heaven.’'

 

译: 我更喜欢这个‘安排’的想法，而不是 ‘婚姻在天堂里被缔造好了’的那个。”

 

评：made in Heaven现成的‘天造地设’就好，尤其省略了后一句的翻译的话。要不‘我的婚姻会被安排得胜于天造’？

 

 

'Mrs Smiling shuddered at the compelling, the almost Gallic, cynicism of Flora’s speech.'

 

译：芙洛拉这番具有说服力、近乎法国式的、惊世骇俗的言论让斯麦林夫人瑟瑟发抖。

 

评：‘芙洛拉这话令人难以反驳，并具有近乎法国式的玩世不恭，让斯麦林夫人不寒而栗。’

 

 

'Mrs Smiling’s face assumed that brooding and maternal look '

 

译：幽怨的、母亲般的神色

 

评：斯麦林夫人对那些男人的态度是慈母不是怨妇啊。brooding作‘严肃凝重’更好些？‘母性而凝重的神色’

 

 

'Charles, who looked well in tails, spoke hardly at all.'

 

译：身着燕尾服的查尔斯虽然看起来不错，却几乎一言不发。

 

评：没有转折的意思：‘身着燕尾服的查尔斯看上去很帅气，几乎一言不发。’

 

 

'‘There will be time enough to do that when I have to come and rescue you from some impossible relations living in some ungetatable place because you can’t bear it any longer'

 

译：“等我不得不去把住在某个难以到达的地方、身处于某种难以想象的关系中的你解救出来，因为你再也没法忍受了的时候，

 

评：打定主意光普通的词意理解错误就不指出了，但这里的句序也比较拗口。‘我有的是时间去严肃呢——等你跑到不知道哪块穷乡僻壤，身陷于一帮不可理喻的亲戚当中，忍无可忍要我来搭救你的时候。’ ？

 

 

'‘Well, you could if you liked,’ '

 

译：好吧，如果你愿意，你也可以。”

 

评：‘你要是愿意的话是可以来住的。’

 

 

'continued Flora, who was in a foolish mood.'

 

译：芙洛拉继续说，她的心情很不好。

 

评：不是不好：‘一时想说点傻气话的芙洛拉追问道。’（其实有点在和Charles调情的味道） 

 

 

'disagreeably poor and have become deliciously rich'

 

译：贫穷而悲伤、后来变得富有而快乐

 

评：这里不能卖惨，只能轻描淡写 ‘穷得让人不舒服，现在富有得风和日丽’

=======================================

第二章

慢慢地愚公移山吧... 

 

 

'the slums of Mayfair'

 

译：“梅费尔的贫民窟”

 

评：Mayfair是高档区，这里换成‘穷街陋巷’，再加个注是作者故意说反话好像更好。

 

 

'‘I think it’s degrading of you, Flora,’ cried Mrs Smiling at breakfast. '

 

译：“我认为这样做有辱你的身份，芙洛拉。”斯麦林夫人在早餐时大喊，”

 

评：大喊有失身份，只是说话语气比较重：‘...再次抗议道’ 

 

 

'a vague phrase, which was nevertheless defined in their two minds with great precision, to their mutual satisfaction.'

 

译：“尽管这个短语很模糊，但在她们的头脑中却都有着精准的定义，达到了让两个人都满意的程度。”

 

评：‘让两人都满意的是，尽管这个短语很模糊，她们的心里却对此皆有精准的定义’

 

 

'oleaginous sentences'

 

译：“那些油腔滑调的句子”

 

评：‘油腔滑调’太轻浮，或作 ‘圆滑油腻’？

 

 

'yet tempered by a certain inarticulate Public School grief for her bereavement. '

 

译：“却也因她那难以言喻的丧亲之痛而得到了中和”

 

评： 这里对公校文化的嘲笑不能省略啊。‘对丧亲之痛表达得笨口拙舌，如同典型的公校产物，以此中和了乐呵得略有冒犯之嫌的笔调’

 

 

' revived by her own words'

 

译：“她说的话使自己精神一振，一下子又复活了过来，”

 

评： “被自己的话激活了”

 

 

' They are positively oily.’'

 

译：“它们极尽谄媚。”

 

评： “它们殷勤巴结得冒油。”？

 

 

'‘This afternoon,’ observed Mrs Smiling, leading the way to lunch,'

 

译：““今天下午，”斯麦林夫人一边察言观色，一边把话题引向午饭，”

 

评： observe这里是说话： “斯麦林夫人一边带她去吃午饭，一边提议，”

 

 

'I think the names are awful: too ageing and putting-off.'

 

译：“他们的名字都很可怕：太老旧，也不入流。”

 

评：这儿putting-off 应该等同于off-putting吧——“让人看了就想躲/敬而远之”。而且既然讨论到这里了总该给Starkadder加个注释吧，Stark有赤裸、极端的意思，名字直译出来是‘赤蛇’，但最容易让人联想到的是‘stark raving mad’这个词组。

 

 

'‘I think if I find that I have any third cousins living at Cold Comfort Farm (young ones, you know, children of Cousin Judith) who are named Seth, or Reuben'

 

译：“我想，如果我发现还有一些亲戚住在令人难以宽慰的农庄（年轻的那种，你知道，比如茱蒂丝表姐的孩子们），他们的名字又叫塞思或鲁本的话”

 

评： 这里可以显示中文的优势啊： “如果我发现有什么叫塞思或鲁本的表侄住在农庄（你知道，就是茱蒂丝表姐的孩子）” 这个flag立得... 

 

 

'And my cousin’s name, remember, is Judith. That in itself is most ominous. Her husband is almost certain to be called Amos;'

 

译：“而且我表姐的名字，记得吧，叫茱蒂丝，这本身就是最不吉利的，几乎可以肯定她丈夫的名字是阿莫斯；”

 

评：该注：这两个名字都源于旧约，Judith多次入画、最有名的事迹是Judith Slaying Holofernes，所以说‘寓意不祥’ ，文中的Judith的确也莫名长期苦大仇深的样子；Amos则是minor十二先知之一，和后面热爱布道的Amos很相称。

 

 

'addressed in so barbed and illiterate a hand '

 

译：“写地址的人一定是个目不识丁的文盲”

 

评：‘字迹像鬼画符一样潦草，’

 

 

'be delighted to shelter Flora under his roof for as long as she cared to fold the white wings of her girlhood there'

 

译：如果芙洛拉想收起她的纯白羽翼，将她的少女时代栖息在此，他愿意用他的屋檐替她遮风挡雨，

 

评：原句那种老式的文雅太赞了。表扬译文这里尽职了

 

 

'his man, Hoots, and the housekeeper, who was elderly and somewhat deaf.'

 

译：“另外就是他的仆人、猫头鹰的叫声，还有那位上了年纪且有些耳聋的管家”

 

评：可惜下一行就把贴身仆人的人名直译了。（那个顿号实锤。）Gibbons那是作者含蓄的幽默，译文里写信人成了语无伦次的老糊涂。

 

 

'there was some most interesting bird-life to be observed in the marshes which surrounded the house on three sides.'

 

译：“如果芙洛拉喜欢鸟类的话，在三面环绕着房子的沼泽地里，世上最有意思的鸟类生活正等待着她前来观察。”

 

评：‘房子三面都环绕着沼泽地，可以观察到世上最有意思的鸟类活动’

 

 

'He must end his letter now, he feared, as he felt his old trouble coming on again, and he was hers affectionately.'

 

译：“他现在必须结束他的信了，因为害怕他的老毛病又来了，它对他还真是深情脉脉。”

 

评：英文信件的套话‘yours affectionately’被穿凿附会成这样也是服气的。‘你的亲切的’

 

 

'for manifestations sometimes occurred in the attic, and even a trace of scepticism in the atmosphere of the room spoiled the conditions, and prevented phenomena, the observations of which provided the Society with such valuable evidence in favour of Survival.'

 

译：“有时阁楼里会出现显灵现象，哪怕存在一丝怀疑主义的痕迹，都将对这种环境造成破坏，阻碍现象的发生，而这些观察则为社团提供了与生存有关的宝贵证据”

 

评：scepticism 就是怀疑，不是怀疑主义。这里phenomena和Survival都是唯灵论的特有名词，一作灵异现象，另一特指survival of bodily death，也就是灵魂长存之说。‘...阻碍灵异现象的发生，而我们社团就是依赖这些观察，取得了与灵魂长存论有关的宝贵证据。’

 

 

'They agreed that at least it had the negative merit of keeping silence upon the subject of sleeping arrangements.'

 

译：“它在如何睡觉的问题上保持了沉默，而她们一致同意，虽然这样做看起来不够积极，但至少有其可取之处。”

 

评：‘它在睡房安排的问题上保持了沉默，而她们一致同意这至少比明说了的那两封强’

 

 

'Aunt Ada Doom was always rather a misery, Mother couldn’t abide her because she really loved the country and wore artistic hats.'

 

译：“艾达·杜姆老是爱发牢骚，母亲受不了她，因为她真的很爱这个国家，有着艺术家的天赋”

 

评：结合上下文的话country这里是乡下的意思。‘艾达阿姨老是郁郁寡欢的... 喜欢戴设计感前卫的帽子’

 

 

'unless it was with the object of cutting-in under the noses of the other members of the family with some sordid or passionate end in view; '

 

译：“除非是为了在其他家人的眼皮底下，制造一些卑鄙无耻抑或激情满满的故事结局；”

 

评：end 这里理解偏了：‘除非是为了先下手为强，赶在其他家人之前达到什么卑鄙无耻抑或激情洋溢的目的。’

 

 

'Mrs Smiling had them both so well in hand... how distressed she was about yet a third of the Pioneers-O named Goofi, '

 

译：“麦林夫人却能把他们二人牢牢地攥在手心里... 因为她的“拓荒者”中有三分之一的人都叫“古菲””

 

评：‘牢牢控制于股掌之间’？ ‘另有一位叫古菲的拓荒者’，是第三个，不是1/3

 

 

'It seemed to her even more confused than usual. Indeed, since the aerial routes and the well-organized road routes had appropriated three-quarters of the passengers who used to make their journeys by train, the remaining railway companies had fallen into a settled melancholy; an idle and repining despair invaded their literature, and its influence was noticeable even in their time-tables.'

 

译：“她反而比平时更加困惑了。事实上，自从航空路线和组织良好的公路路线占用了以往乘坐火车旅行的三分之一的乘客后，铁路公司就似乎陷入了一种平静的忧愁之中；他们的文字作品中充斥着一种懒散而哀怨的绝望情绪”

 

评：‘confused’是时间表在糊涂。‘四分之三的火车乘客’，‘settled’作‘平静’的话和后文‘repining’不通，换‘稳定持续’可能好些，literature‘出版物’。

 

 

'‘I’m afraid the poor child may be worrying,’ Mrs Smiling would say, vaguely, which was her way of indicating that Goofi had probably committed suicide, out of the depths of unrequited passion. '

 

译：“我怕这个可怜的孩子会担心。”斯麦林夫人通常会含糊不清地说，这就是她的说话方式，暗示着古菲可能会因狂热的单相思而自杀。”

 

评：这两句时态有问题：‘...可怜的孩子在担心什么。”斯麦林夫人会含糊不清地说，...暗示着古菲很可能出于狂热的单相思而试图自杀了。’ 

 

 

'would respond cheerfully, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t fret, if I were you, Mary’, and feel happier at the thought of Goofi’s sufferings.'

 

译：“根据自身的经验得知这或许就是事实，于是他们很高兴地回答：“噢，如果我是你，玛丽，我就不会操心。”并且一想到古菲遭受的痛苦，他们便更开心了。”

 

评：cheerful是表露出来的：‘尽管根据自身的经验得知这或许就是事实，他们会笑呵呵地回答：“噢玛丽，换了我就不会去操那个心。”并且一想到古菲遭受的痛苦，他们便开心一些了。’ 

 

 

'It was a slow train. It reached Beershorn at six o’clock. At Beershorn this train stopped; and there was no more idle chatter of the arrival and departure of trains. Only the simple sentence ‘Howling (see Beershorn)’ mocked, in its self-sufficing entity, the traveller.'

 

译：“那是一列慢车，会在六点到达比尔肖恩。在比尔肖恩，这列火车停了。此后，便再也没有火车进出站台发出的慵懒的嘎吱声了，只有一句简单的 “嚎叫村（见比尔肖恩）”报站声实实在在地嘲弄着旅客们。”

 

评：前句两短句并一句，行文节奏就被破坏了，本该是挤牙膏/算盘珠子一拨一动的样子。‘idle chatter’是发生在时间表上的，‘时间表无暇再对火车进站出站喋喋不休。只有一句简单而仁至义尽的 “嚎叫村（见比尔肖恩）”嘲弄着旅客们。’

 

 

'She was feeling downright morbid, and her sensations were unpleasingly complicated by the knowledge that '

 

译：“她有一种极度不舒服的感觉，... 这让她的情绪变得更加不安和复杂了一些。”

 

评：'morbid'这里可能近似‘低沉悲观’，从词源看有种大限将至感。‘...这让她的情绪变得更加五味杂陈，进一步令人不快。’

 

 

'‘Oh – I don’t know. He rather amuses me, and I quite like him.’'

 

译：“哦——我不知道。我觉得他很有趣。我很喜欢他。”

 

评：鉴于后文两人关系的处理，这里要含蓄：‘哦——我不知道。他蛮有趣的，我挺喜欢他。’

 

 

'Curious how Love destroys every vestige of that politeness which the human race, in its years of evolution, has so painfully acquired'

 

译：“人类经过长期的进化和痛苦的探寻，终于学会了彬彬有礼，想知道爱情是怎么摧毁它们的一切痕迹的吗？”

 

评：可称金句。‘人类经过漫长的进化才千辛万苦地学会了礼貌，爱情挥手间就把这礼貌消泯得荡然不存，是不是很奇怪？’

 

 

'shrieked Flora, who disliked this prolongation of the ceremony of saying farewell, as every civilized traveller must.

 

‘What parrot?’ they all shrieked back from the fast-receding platform, just as they were meant to do.'

 

译：“芙洛拉尖叫道，就像每个文明的旅客必须表现出来的一样，她也不喜欢这种漫长的道别仪式。“什么鹦鹉？”他们从快速退后的站台上尖叫回来，就像他们本该做的那样。”

 

评：‘芙洛拉不喜欢漫长的道别仪式，尽管每个文明的旅客都必须遵守它。“什么鹦鹉？”果不其然，他们从快速退后的站台上尖叫回来’

 

 

'with a final affectionate wave of her hand to Mrs Smiling, she drew back into the carriage and, opening a fashion journal, composed herself for the journey.'

 

译：“她最后一次朝斯麦林夫人深情地挥挥手，但斯麦林夫人已经坐回马车上了，正打开一本时尚杂志，静下心来准备继续后面的车程。”

 

评：这句主语始终都是Flora啊，‘...在车厢里坐好，打开一本时尚杂志，静下心来面对后面的车程。’

=======================================

第三章

 

 

眼见parody口吻加重了。

 

 

'followed by the snarling cries of a wind eating its way between the black boughs of the thorns. The wind was the furious voice of this sluggish animal light that was baring the dormers and mullions and scullions of Cold Comfort Farm.'

 

译：“咆哮的狂风紧随其后，疾速掠过荆棘丛黑色的树枝。这懒洋洋的“动物之光”照亮了令人难以宽慰的农庄的天窗与直棂，狂风则像它们发出的愤怒嚎叫。”

 

评：‘疾速掠过’改‘一路对荆棘丛的黑色枝桠撕咬肆虐’更忠实。狂风是‘呆滞兽性’的日光的怒号，不能是复数‘它们’。light that was baring->‘日光袒露出’。scullions ‘粗仆’漏了（像是因为和mullion押韵的搭头）。

 

 

'whence its fields, fanged with flints, dropped steeply to the village of Howling a mile away.'

 

译：“周围的田野落满燧石，一直通向一英里远之外的嚎叫村。”

 

评：‘...陡峭地向一英里远之外的嚎叫村倾陷。’

 

 

'Edward the Sixth had originally owned it in the form of a shed in which he housed his swineherds, but he had grown tired of it, and had had it rebuilt in Sussex clay. Then he pulled it down. '

 

译：“起初它只是一个棚屋，归爱德华六世所有，他将猪舍安置在棚屋中，但后来厌倦了，就用萨塞克斯的黏土将它重建了一番。后来他把它拆掉了。”

 

评：是猪倌不是猪舍。没全部引用，但这整段历史煞有介事地把英国历代君主都扯进来了，总值得注释一些吧。

 

 

'By the time England began to develop that magnificent blossoming of trade and imperial expansion which fell to her lot under Victoria, there was not much of the original building left, save the tradition that it had always been there. '

 

译：“等到英国进入了维多利亚统治时期、开始盛放贸易和帝国扩张的壮丽花朵之时，原来的建筑已经所剩无几，只有传统的风格仍在延续。”

 

评：‘等到英国进入了维多利亚统治时期、贸易和帝国扩张的花期繁荣似锦之时，原来的建筑已经所剩无几，遗留下的传统只是它的持续存在。’

 

 

'Growing with the viscuous light that was invading the sky, there came the solemn, tortured-snake voice of the sea, two miles away, falling in sharp folds upon the mirror-expanses of the beach.'

 

译：“……伴随着涌入天空的黏糊糊的光线，两英里外的大海传来了一种凝重的声音，如同饱受折磨的蛇发出的嘶叫，坠落在广袤如明镜的海滩上，撞出了一条条锐利的褶痕。”

 

评：主语模糊，看不清‘坠落’的是大海，不是‘声音’。‘涌入’‘黏糊糊’分开看没问题，放一起就有点怪。‘伴随着侵入天空的黏稠光线，两英里外传来凛凛海声，那声音如同饱受折磨的蛇发出的嘶叫。海浪跌落在广袤如明镜的海滩上，撞出了一条条锐利的褶痕。’

 

 

'The ice-cascade of the wind'

 

译：“瀑布般冰冷的风”

 

评：‘喷冰溅霜的风’

 

 

'‘Upidee, Travail! Ho, there, Arsenic! Jug-jug!’ But for the most part he worked in silence, and silent were his team.'

 

译：“向上，努力！嗬，那儿！砷！罐子-罐子！”但大多数情况下，他只是沉默地工作着，沉默就是他的团队。”

 

评：Travail和Arsenic都是耕牛名字，‘大难’，‘大毒’。Jug-jug该也是拟声词，没什么特别意思。‘牛队也回以沉默’

 

 

'watching the crooked passage of the scranlet through the yeasty earth, and muttered: ‘Hola, Arsenic! Belay there, Travail!’'

 

译：“看着这条弯弯曲曲的小道穿过酵母味的土地，咕哝着：“喂，砷！系上绳子！努力！””

 

评：scranlet是作者生造的词，根据上下文：‘看着犁齿在松软的土中歪歪斜斜地前行，咕哝着：“嘿喂，大毒！停下，大难！”’

 

 

'while the bitter light wanned into full day.'

 

译：“与此同时，天大亮了，刺眼的光线渐渐暗淡下去。”

 

评：前面亮后面暗淡，矛盾了：‘与此同时，凄苦的晨曦渐渐转白，天光大亮了。’

 

 

'The name, unspoken but sharply musical as a glittering bead shaken from a fountain’s tossing necklace, hovered audibly in the rancid air of the shed.'

 

译：“虽然这个名字没被说出口，却有着十分刺耳的音效，就像一颗闪闪发光的珠子，从项链上如喷泉般飞溅而出，声音兀自盘旋在牛棚腐臭的空气中。”

 

评：这句是写这个名字的美好，不能是‘刺耳’的。‘这个名字虽没被说出口，但它的音效清脆悦耳，犹如喷泉抛掷出的珠链中的一颗闪熠的珠子，回响在牛棚腐臭的空气中。’

 

 

'then slowly his eyes, which looked small and wet and lifeless in his primitive face, lost their terror as he realized that he was in the cowshed, that it was half-past six on a winter morning, and that his gnarled fingers were about the task which they had performed at this hour and in this place for the past eighty years and more.'

 

译：“然后慢慢地，他眼睛中的恐惧之色褪去了（那双眼睛在他原始的脸上看起来很小，湿乎乎的，死气沉沉），因为他意识到他正待在牛棚里，意识到现在是一个冬日的清晨六点半，而他粗糙的手指正在干一项苦差事，在此时、此地已经干了八十年或更久的时间。”

 

评：避免括号的尝试：‘然后慢慢地，他眼睛中的恐惧之色褪去了。但在他朴陋的脸上，那双湿漉漉的小眼睛看起来依然死气沉沉。他意识到他正待在牛棚里，意识到他粗粝扭曲的手中的活计，是他每天在此时此地干了八十多年了的。’

 

 

'He stood up, sighing, and crossed over to Pointless, who was eating Graceless’s tail. Adam, who was linked to all dumb brutes by a chain forged in soil and sweat, '

 

译：“他站起身，叹了口气，走到“没意义”身旁，它正在吃“没礼貌”的尾巴。亚当，这个被用一条 “铁链”（从泥土和汗水中锻造出的）同所有愚蠢的畜生联系在一起的人，将尾巴从“没意义”的嘴里拿了出来”

 

评：‘把亚当和这些无知的畜生拴在一起的，是一条从泥土和汗水中锻造出的铁链。’这句可以搬到此段首，下面就都可以是动作。另外是他最后一条手帕，不是他仅有的东西。

 

 

'They lay close to the earth, and something of earth’s old fierce simplicities had seeped into their beings.'

 

译：“他们与大地离得很近，而大地上一些古老、残忍而极其简单的东西也渗入了他们的生命之中。”

 

评：‘他们与大地密不可分，大地的某种古老劲烈的单纯早已渗入了他们的生命之中。’

 

 

' It was no more than a darkening of the pallid paws of the day which were now embracing the shed, but all the cows instinctively stiffened, and Adam’s eyes, as he stood up to face the new-comer, were again piteously full of twisted fear.'

 

译：“那不过是白昼的手爪变得暗淡了一些而已，它现在已经将整个牛棚拥入了怀中。但所有的牛还是本能地僵住了。而当亚当再次站起身面对一个“新来客”的时候，他的眼睛里又充满了可怜的恐惧。”

 

评：‘整个牛棚现在都被白昼的苍白的手爪抓着，阴影只把光亮调暗了一点，...当可怜的亚当起身面对这位新来客时，他的眼睛里又充满了扭曲的恐惧。’

 

 

'‘I dunnamany,’ responded Adam, cringingly; ‘’tes hard to tell. If so be as our Pointless has got over her indigestion, maybe ’twill be four. '

 

译：“我不知道，”亚当皱着眉说，“很难说。如果我们的‘没意义’能克服消化不良的问题，可能会有四桶。”

 

评：老农Adam的话很primitive，语法一塌糊涂，学不来什么方言的话至少不能处理得很通顺。‘“不晓得多少，”亚当畏缩地说，“很难说。要是俺们‘没意义’消化好起来，兴许四桶。”’？

 

 

'Her large hands had a quality which made them seem to sketch vast horizons with their slightest gesture. She looked a woman without boundaries as she stood wrapped in a crimson shawl to protect her bitter, magnificent shoulders from the splintery cold of the early air. She seemed fitted for any stage, however enormous.'

 

译：“她的大手有一种特异功能，仿佛能用最微小的手势勾勒出广阔无垠的地平线。她站在那里，为了让她那双痛苦而壮阔的肩膀免受清晨刺骨寒风的侵袭，她裹上了一条猩红色的披肩，看起来就像一个没有边界的女人。任何舞台似乎都很适合她，不论多么巨大。”

 

评：‘特质’就好了，‘特异功能’发挥过度了。‘她的肩膀壮美，却老摆着苦大仇深的姿势。为了免受清晨刺骨寒风的侵袭，她肩上裹着一条猩红色的披肩，整个人看上去浩阔无际。她仿佛驾驭得了任何舞台，无论多大。’

 

 

'she says we are five-sixteenths of a bucket below what our rate should be, considering how many cows we have'

 

译：“她说，考虑到我们拥有的奶牛的数量，我们每桶的价格低了十六分之五。”

 

评：这里是在讨论产量：‘她说按我们奶牛的数量来算，我们每头匀下来比别人少十六分之五桶。’

 

 

'A strange film passed over Adam’s eyes, giving him the lifeless primaeval look that a lizard has, basking in the swooning Southern heat.'

 

译：“亚当的眼中似乎划过了一部奇怪的电影，带给他一种死气沉沉的原始面容，就像一只暴晒在酷热南部的蜥蜴一样。”

 

评：应该是被数学吓到了：‘亚当的眼中似乎蒙上了一层奇怪的雾翳，使他看似一只了无生气的远古生物，例如一条暴晒在酷热南部的蜥蜴。’

 

 

'Emotion shook the frozen grief of her face. '

 

译：“她摇摇头，摇落了她脸上冰冷的悲伤。”

 

评：‘另一种情绪打破了她脸上冰封的悲伤。’

 

 

'Adam’s eyes, little blind pools of water in his primitive face, suddenly grew cunning. '

 

译：“亚当的眼睛就像他那原始的脸上的一方注满死水的池塘，突然透出狡猾的光。”

 

评：‘亚当朴陋的脸上那如同两潭死水的眼睛，突然透出狡猾的光。’

 

 

'the deal table, darkened by age and dirt, which was roughly set for a meal. '

 

译：“牌桌上方飘荡。因为年久失修和灰尘遍布，那张桌子变得颜色黯淡，马马虎虎地被用来吃饭。”

 

评：deal table 是比较软的pine or fir做的：‘..松木做的桌子上方飘荡。桌子古旧积灰，桌面黝暗，简单粗暴地摆着一顿饭菜。’

 

 

'The firelight lit up his diaphragm muscles as they heaved slowly in rough rhythm with the porridge.'

 

译：“火光随着稠粥缓慢而有节奏地起伏，照亮了他的横膈膜肌肉。”

 

评：是肌肉随着起伏，火光只照亮:‘火光照亮了他的隔膜肌，可见它缓慢起伏，与稠粥的翻滚几乎同步。’

 

 

'They stood in silence, she staring at him, and he down into the secret crevasses of the porridge.'

 

译：“他们静静地站着，她盯着他看，而他似乎已经走进了稠粥的秘密缝隙之中。”

 

评：‘他们静默地站着，她盯着他，他盯着稠粥的隐秘缝隙。’ 这段里稠粥的戏份好多，乐死。

 

 

'His voice had a low, throaty, animal quality, a sneering warmth that wound a velvet ribbon of sexuality over the outward coarseness of the man. 

 

Judith’s breath came in long shudders. '

 

译：“他的声音低沉、嘶哑，有种动物般的质感，带着讥讽的温度，如一条性感的天鹅绒丝带，缠绕在这个有着粗犷外表的男人身上。

 

茱蒂丝的呼吸长时间地颤抖着。”

 

评：‘他的声音低沉沙哑，有种动物般的质感，带着讥讽的温度。嗓音中的性感如一条天鹅绒丝带，缠绕在这个男人的粗犷外表上。

 

茱蒂丝的气息是一阵阵延缓的颤抖。’？ 

 

 

'This left only four men who were not in some way connected with the family; so it will readily be understood that the general feeling among the farm-hands was not exactly one of hilarity. Mark Dolour, one of the four, had been heard to remark: ‘Happen it had been another kind o’ eleven, us might ha’ had a cricket team, wi’ me fer umpire. As ut is, ’twould be more befittin’ if we was to hire oursen out for carryin’ coffins at sixpence a mile.’'

 

译：“这样就只剩下四个人，他们在某种程度上与这个家庭并没什么关系。所以弥漫在农庄工人之间的气氛并不全是欢快的，人们很容易理解这点。马克·多勒，那四个人中的一个，曾有人听到他说过这样的话：“再有十一个人，我们就组个板球球队，我当裁判。但要是雇我们去抬棺材，每英里六便士，那就更合适了。””

 

评：‘这样只剩四个人和这个家庭不沾亲带故——由此显而易见，这些农工之间的气氛不太能够用欢快来形容。四人之一的马克·多勒曾向人感慨过：‘要是换不同的十一个人，我们说不定可以组个板球球队，我当裁判。可眼下我们这帮人更合适去给人抬棺材，每走每英里挣六便士。’

 

 

'Luke and Mark, were thickly built and high-featured; gross, silent men with an eye to the bed and the board.'

 

译：“阿莫斯同父异母的兄弟——卢克和马克，身材高大魁梧；他们粗俗而沉默，用一只眼睛瞟着床和木板。”

 

评：‘身材魁梧五官浓重；他们粗俗寡言，最关心的只是吃什么睡哪里。’

 

 

'When all were seated two shadows darkened the sharp, cold light pouring in through the door. They were no more than a growing imminence of humanity, but the porridge boiled over again.'

 

译：“在所有人都坐着时，从门外涌入的刺眼冷光因为两个阴影的到来而变暗了。稠粥再一次煮沸溢了出来”

 

评：‘所有人都坐下后，两条阴影挡住了从门外涌入的刺眼冷光。逆光中，他们只不过是逐渐可辨的人形，但稠粥再一次煮沸溢了出来。’

 

 

'Seth as he sat sprawling in the lusty pride of casual manhood, with a good many buttons and tapes undone. '

 

译：“塞思则四肢舒展地坐着，衣带松开，很多扣子没系，为自己强壮、潇洒的男子汉气息而自豪”

 

评：‘...衣带、扣子都很多没系，不经意间流露出雄性的旺盛自豪。’ 这句可以移到“他没有碰他的粥。”后面，接下来的描写就都是和Judith有关的了。

 

 

'‘’Tes a godless habit to lie abed of a working day, and the reeking red pits of the Lord’s eternal wrathy fires lie in wait for them as do so. '

 

译：“在工作日躺卧是一种不虔敬的习惯。红色的大坑里燃烧着上帝永恒的怒火，散发着刺鼻的臭味，就在那里等着他们。”

 

评：‘在工作日躺卧是异端之举。上帝永恒的怒火在红彤彤的深坑里熊熊燃烧，散发臭味，就是等他们那些人的。’

 

 

'the eye rested on Reuben, who was hopefully studying his parent’s apoplectic countenance'

 

译：“而鲁本原本希望能研究一下他父亲暴怒时的表情，”

 

评：‘鲁本满怀希望地观察着他父亲暴怒得好像随时可能脑溢血发作的脸庞，’ 因为他真希望他爸倒下

 

 

'‘Hold your peace,’ thundered Amos; and Micah, though a fierce tremor rushed through his mighty form, held it.'

 

译：“住嘴。”阿莫斯怒吼。迈卡庞大的身躯猛烈地震颤了一阵，但最后还是稳住了。”

 

评：‘“闭嘴！”... 闭住了。’ 前后两个动词一致的。

 

 

'Once – a terrible day, when Nature seemed to hold her breath, and release it again in a furious gale of wind – Harkaway had fallen into it. Once Urk had pushed Caraway down it. Still, it was nearly finished; and everybody felt that it would not be long now.'

 

译：“（那是可怕的一天，仿佛大自然一度屏住了呼吸，继而趁着一阵狂风呼气一样），哈卡韦跌进了井里。还有一次，在即将完工的时候，乌尔克把卡拉韦推到了井里。”

 

评：‘（那是可怕的一天，大自然仿佛一度屏住了呼吸，继而把憋住的气全都在一阵狂风中释放出来），哈卡韦跌进了井里。还有一次，乌尔克把卡拉韦推到了井里。不过，他们即将完工了，’

 

 

'And when April like an over-lustful lover leaped upon the lush flanks of the Downs there would be yet another child in the wretched hut down at Nettle Flitch Field, where Meriam housed the fruits of her shame. '

 

译：“四月像一个好色的情人，跳上郁郁葱葱的唐郡，那时还会有另一个孩子降临在荨麻弗里奇牧场那间可怜的小屋里，梅里亚姆正是在那里孕育了她令人羞耻的果实。”

 

评：‘当四月像一个情欲过旺的情人，跳上葱翠欲滴的唐郡身上时，会有再一个孩子降临在荨麻弗里奇牧场那间鄙陋的小屋里，梅里亚姆正是在那里孕育她的羞辱之果。’ 

 

 

'‘Ay, dog’s-fennel or beard’s-crow, by their fruits they shall be betrayed,’'

 

译：““是的，狗茴香总有一天会被自己的果实出卖。””

 

评：应该是在说Miriam肚子里的私生子是谁的：‘到底是狗茴香还是鸦胡子，结出的果子一看就知道了。’ 

 

 

'the chime of a laugh was followed a second later by the slam of the gate leading through the starveling garden out on to the Downs.'

 

译：“然后，随着通往花园和唐郡的大门被“砰”地关上，一阵银铃般的笑声远远传来。”

 

评：先有笑声再关门的。‘羸惫的花园’。另外，全文的the downs 都不该作‘唐郡’，就是‘山丘’。

 

 

'A brittle silence mocked his whisper; through it wound the rank odours of rattan and barn.

 

‘My pharisee … my cowdling …’ he whispered, piteously. His eyes had again that look as of waste grey pools, sightless primaeval wastes reflecting the wan evening sky in some lonely marsh, as they wandered about the kitchen.'

 

译：“一阵刺耳的寂静嘲笑着他的低语；穿过寂静，传来了藤蔓和谷仓的刺鼻臭味。“我的法利赛人……我的小乖乖……”他可怜巴巴地低语着。他的眼睛又一次变成了废弃的灰色池塘，在厨房里恍惚地游走，茫然、原始而荒芜，从一片孤寂的沼泽中映照出苍茫的夜空。”

 

评：‘寂静里贯穿着藤条和谷仓的刺鼻臭味’。为了省去注释可以‘我假仁假义的法利赛人’；‘cowdling’估计是‘cuddling’变体，‘小亲亲’更贴。池塘不会游走，拟作：‘他的目光在厨房里恍惚游走，眼睛又一次变成了两潭废弃的灰色池塘，翳蔽、原始而荒芜，在一片孤寂的沼泽中映照出苍茫的夜空。’

 

 

'Ay, wild as a marshtigget in May, ’tes. And a will never listen to a word from annyone. Well, so t’must be. Sour or sweet, by barn or bye, so ’twill go. '

 

译：“是的，就像五月沼泽地里的小老虎一样野，嘶。永远不听任何人的话。对，一定是这样。不管酸甜苦辣，随她去吧。”

 

评：后文里marshtigget显然是一种鸟，可作‘宽尾沼泽莺’ 。后面我理解为：‘唉，怎么拗得过呢。是好是歹，要来要走，随她吧。’

 

 

'Left alone, the kitchen fire went out.'

 

译：“厨房的炉火孤零零的，于是熄灭了。”

 

评：‘厨房的炉火没了人管，熄灭了。’

=======================================

第四章

 

Flora 登台以后节奏就快多了。

 

 

'Her hour had come upon her rather sooner than was anticipated, and in the ensuing scene Adam’s fit, which he had staged in the cowshed out of regard for his personal comfort and safety, passed almost unnoticed except as a sort of Greek chorus to the main drama.'

 

译：“她的时间到来得比预料中要早。而在随后的场景中，亚当基于自我安慰和个人安全而在牛棚里上演的“大发脾气”戏码，除了比较像是希腊戏剧合唱队的主剧之外，几乎没能引起任何人的注意。“

 

评：Meriam是产期提早到了。having a fit这里该是‘癫痫发作’——‘基于个人安全及舒适的考虑，亚当事先还在牛棚里演习了怎么发作癫痫，但人算不如天算，在随后的场景中，他这场癫痫沦落成了希腊戏剧舞台一边的背景合唱，几乎没人注意到。’ 

 

 

'Darkness fell, a clouded bell of dark glass, eclipsing the soggy landscape.'

 

译：“夜幕降临，如同乌云密布的黑色玻璃钟，让湿漉漉的风景黯然失色。”

 

评：‘宛若一口暗浊的玻璃钟，遮蔽了湿漉漉的乡间。’

 

 

'thought seeped up into his dim conscious; not as an integral part of that consciousness, but more as an impalpable emanation, a crepuscular addition, from the unsleeping life in the restless trees and fields surrounding him.'

 

译：“它们不是意识的一个组成部分，而更像是一种难以捉摸的放射形物质、一种黄昏时的补充物，从他四周永不休息的树林、原野中那些昼夜不眠的生物身上而来。”

 

评：‘散发物’也有点别扭但比‘放射形物质’ 强吧，把impalpable emanation化开散入下文：‘像是一种阴晦而难以捉摸的附加物，从他四周永不安息的树林、原野中那些无眠的生命中散发而来’？

 

 

'The trout-sperm in the muddy hollow under Nettle Flitch Weir were agitated, and well they might be.'

 

译：“在荨麻弗里奇的河坝下方，鳟鱼的精子被搅动着，嗯，很可能是这样”

 

评：更倾向把well they might be理解成理所当然：‘在荨麻弗里奇的河坝下方，鳟鱼精子在所难免地蠢蠢欲动’  

 

 

'earthy calm' 'the loutish shapes of the unbudded trees'

 

译：“世俗的平静” “没发芽的树木的粗犷轮廓”

 

评：earthy 不是earthly，‘源于大地的宁静’。loutish是贬义的，粗野或粗莽可能更贴。

 

 

'Did I cowdle thee as a mommet for this?'

 

译：“我曾这样抱过汝吗？”

 

评：Adam的哀怨：‘老早我这么宝贝你，现在就被这么对待吗？’

 

 

' striding on her unsteady colt’s legs towards the Hall ''the vision of his nurseling between those casual fingers '

 

译：“她骑着她步伐不稳的小马驹，义无反顾地走入了大庄园，... 眼前浮现出他用随意的手指抚育她的景象”

 

评：一般的错译都不提了，但这里是形容Elfine的腿像马驹一样细长不稳。nurseling 是指Elfine ‘眼前浮现出他随意的手指抚弄他的女娃的景象’

 

 

'Then animation fell from him, a sucked straw. His body sunk into the immemorial posture of a man thought-whelmed. He was a tree-trunk; a toad on a stone; a pie-thatched owl on a bough.'

 

译：“然后，活力从他——一根被吸干的稻草——身上消失了。他成了一个被思绪压垮的男人，他的身体陷入了一种远古的状态。他是一根树干，一只石头上的蟾蜍，一只树枝上披着茅草的猫头鹰。”

 

评：不是稻草是（被吸瘪了的）吸管；‘他的体态陷入了一副恒古以来被思绪压垮的男人的样子。’ pie-thatched 的pie大概应该作两色‘pied’解，由此得‘毛色凌乱’

 

 

'time conveyed to him nothing of itself... If time passed (and presumably it did, for a train came in, and its passengers got out, and were driven away) there was no time for Adam.'

 

译：“但时间除了自身，并没有给他带来什么。仿佛时间一旦过去（想必是这样，因为一辆火车进站了，乘客们下车了，然后都被赶走了），就再也没有留给亚当的时间了。”

 

评：‘时间对他失去了意义’，‘如果时间流走了，.. 亚当并没有感受到它的流逝。’ driven away 这里只是被各自的马车接走，没有被赶。

 

 

'The light of the lantern showed nothing above this save a slender ankle and a green skirt, considerably agitated by the movements of the leg which it covered.'

 

译：“除了稻草，外加纤细的脚踝和绿色的裙子，灯笼的光亮再也照不到别的东西了；而那条腿做出的动作遮住了灯笼光，使它颇为不安。”

 

评：‘除此之外，灯笼的光亮只能照及一只纤细的脚踝和一条绿裙，裙下双腿的动作让裙摆晃动不止。’

 

 

'That straw was good enough for Miss Judith’s wedding-trip to Brighton, and it must serve. '

 

译：“那些稻草很不错，足够让茱蒂丝小姐去布莱顿参加婚礼了，它也一定用得上。”

 

评：‘那些稻草很好的，配得上茱蒂丝小姐当年去布莱顿度蜜月，它现在也一定可以用。’

 

 

'Straw or chaff, leaf or fruit, we mun’ all come to’t.'

 

译：“不管稻草还是谷壳，树叶还是水果，我们都要珍惜。”

 

评：存疑。字面意思更加像‘我们也会老旧腐朽’

 

 

‘Not while I can prevent myself,’... 'Now, shall we be getting along, if you have finished brooding? My trunk is coming up to the farm by the carrier’s van tomorrow. Not’ (the voice went on, with a certain tartness), ‘that you would be likely to care if it stayed down here until it seeded.’'

 

译：“只要我没疯，我肯定不会那么做的。”... “我们能好好相处了吗？我的行李箱会在明天由货车运到农庄，不然（声音继续说，带着一种尖刻的语调），你可能会关心它是否会一直在这儿待到播种。”

 

评：‘只要我能管住自己就不会’——言下之意她才不会‘珍惜’那些破烂稻草呢。‘我们可以上路了吗？... 不过，估计就是它在这里生根发芽你也不会在意。’ 又，这段前面的‘blindly’是看不清的茫然，不是失神。

 

 

'But Flora thought otherwise. She checked him by asking him if he would prefer her to drive Viper, and this so affronted his male pride that he unhitched the reins from the rennet-post and the buggy drove off without any more delay.'

 

译：“但芙洛拉却在想别的事。她通过问他是否更愿意让她来驾驭“毒蛇”的方式来检查他的状况，但这却严重损害了他身为男人的自尊心。于是他把缰绳从柱子上解下来，毫不犹豫地驾起马车走了。”

 

评：check这里是‘抑止、阻止’之意，整句就因为这个误读翻岔了。‘但芙洛拉由不得他这样。她打断他的方式是问他是否更愿意让她来驾驭“毒蛇”。这问题如此严重损害了他身为男人的自尊心，他再无耽搁，当下就把缰绳从柱子上解下来，驾起马车走了。’

 

 

'she would find it easier to meet the Starkadders in a proper and civilized frame of mind'

 

译：“让她用得体而文明的状态与斯塔卡德一家见面会更容易一些。”

 

评：‘她能更容易地以得体而文明的心态与斯塔卡德一家见面。’

 

 

'She was chilly, and felt soiled (though indeed she did not look it) by the rigours of her journey. '

 

译：“她很冷，也因为这条路的艰辛（尽管她根本没看路），她觉得自己被弄脏了。”

 

评：‘她很冷，觉得一路风尘把她弄得脏兮兮的，（尽管她的外观并非如此）。’

 

 

'‘’Tes all one, Robert Poste’s child.’ ‘It may be all right for you, and all one, but it isn’t to me. '

 

译：“所有人都这么做，罗伯特·波斯特的孩子。”“你或许可以这么做，或许所有人都可以。但我不行”

 

评：all one ‘都一样’——‘都一样的，罗伯特·波斯特的孩子。’‘也许你觉得没区别，横竖都一样，但我不觉得。’

 

 

'a villainous muddy path'

 

译：“泥泞的小路”

 

评：‘泥泞得恶意满满的小路’

 

 

'there was a less frivolous cause for the silence...So, Flora mused, must Columbus have felt when the poor Indian fixed his solemn, unwavering gaze upon the great sailor’s face. For the first time a Starkadder looked upon a civilized being.'

 

译：“芙洛拉想到了一个不算太可笑的理由；芙洛拉心想，当可怜的印第安人严肃而坚定地凝视哥伦布的脸时，这位伟大的水手一定会有同样的感觉。因为斯塔卡德一家第一次见到了文明人。”

 

评：‘没那么轻浮的/更严肃的理由’ 后面这句把Starkadder一家比成‘没开化’的印第安人算是对印第安人casual歧视了。

 

 

'This seemed to Flora, in conjunction with their ominous names, too like a cattle show, so she smiled vaguely '

 

译：“这在芙洛拉看来，连同他们那不祥的名字一起，简直太像一场斗牛表演了，于是她含蓄地笑了笑，”

 

评：是像一场家畜展览会，（她作为展品）；她‘含糊地笑笑’

 

 

'She had her way.'

 

译：“她自有她的办法。”

 

评：‘结果如她所愿。’

=======================================

第五章

 

继续看Flora怎么降伏Starkadders。

 

 

'‘Ay, and I would, tu, '

 

译：“‘是的，我也会。 ”

 

评：‘哼，我就是会。’

 

 

'Wi’ the Queen’s Bane blighting our corn, and the King’s Evil laying waste the clover and the Prince’s Forfeit bringin’ black ruin on the hay and the sows as barren as come-ask-it – ay,'

 

译：“皇后的祸害毁了我们的谷物，国王的邪恶吞了我们的苜蓿，王子的丧命把干草弄得黑了吧唧，母猪瘦得生不出崽子”

 

评：‘皇后的祸害毁坏了我们的谷物，国王的邪恶糟蹋了我们的苜蓿，王子的孽报摧毁了我们的干草，母猪都不孕不育’ ‘barren as come-ask-it’这个词组查不出，猜是生造的。

 

 

'I know what goes on in the hearts of the dumb beasts, wi’out spyin’ round on them to see where they leaves their legs, from morn till eve... I’d take shame to myself, Mus’ Reuben, to watch over them beasts like you do, awaitin’ for dead men’s shoes, and a-countin’ every blade of sporran and mouthful the dumb beasts eat.’'

 

译：“我知道那些哑巴牲口心里想的啥，从早到晚，它们会出门溜达，四处查看查看，就想看看自己把腿丢在哪儿了。牲口也需要独处，像人一样。鲁本主人，像你那样监视牲口，等着它们赶快死掉，清点它们吃的每一口东西，我真感到丢脸。”

 

评：‘我知道那些哑巴牲口心里想的啥，不用从早到晚盯防它们，看它们把腿丢在哪儿了。’ awaitin’ for dead men’s shoes 是‘眼巴巴等着继承它们’

 

 

'May I niver set hand to plough again if I do.'

 

译：“要是这么干，我的手就再也握不住犁。”

 

评：‘我发誓要不我的手就再也握不了犁。’ ——听上去是一条重誓了

 

 

'felt her way across the room to the glimmering grey square which marked the window. '

 

译：“来到那块闪闪发亮的灰色正方形前——代表了窗户的位置。”

 

评：‘来到一块略透光亮的灰色方块前——那里就是窗户了’ i.e. 窗户几百年没擦过了

 

 

'Silence, emphatic as a thunderclap, followed her request... She hoped, drowsily, that it would last long enough for her to drift off into sleep again;'

 

译：“沉默，犹如雷鸣般有力，紧随她的请求而来... 她昏昏欲睡，但由衷地希望，这样的沉默能持续足够长的时间，以便她再次进入梦乡”

 

评：‘震耳欲聋的沉默随之降临。... 昏昏欲睡中，她希望这寂静能够持续到她再次进入梦乡’ 

 

 

'She dressed in pleasant leisure, studying her room. She decided that she liked it.'

 

译：“她身穿舒服的休闲装，研究着她的房间。她决定喜欢上它。”

 

评：‘她悠闲地换上日装，一边考察她的房间。她决定她挺喜欢它的。’

 

 

'Upon the mantelpiece itself rested two large shells, whose gentle curves shaded from white to the richest salmon-pink;'

 

译：“壁炉台上放着两个大贝壳，柔和的曲面上五颜六色，从白色到最艳丽的鲑鱼粉色，”

 

评：没有五彩啊，是同色系的：‘曲面柔和，色泽从白色过渡到最艳丽的鲑鱼粉色’。 这段前面还有‘faded’不是过时只是褪色了。

 

 

'The old mirrors one found in deserted commercial and family hotels in places like Gravesend, or in the houses of Victorian relatives at Cheltenham, were always superb.'

 

译：“... 那些被发现的老镜子总是十分出色的。”

 

评：‘要是去...那种地方的老镜子总是极好的。’

 

 

'A round table to match stood in the middle of the worn red and yellow carpet, which was covered with a design of big flowers. The bed was high, and made of mahogany; the quilt was a honeycomb, and white.'

 

译：“一张圆桌摆在破旧的红黄交织的地毯中间，上面罩着一张设计有大花朵的桌布。床很高，也是桃花心木制成的。被子是蜂窝状的，白色。”

 

评：‘一张同款的圆桌摆在破旧的的地毯上，地毯上有以红黄为主色的大花图案，’ 蜂窝也是图案，不是整张被子的形状。

 

 

'‘Macaria, or Altars of Sacrifice’, by A. J. Evans-Wilson; ‘Home Influence’, by Grace Aguilar; ‘Did She Love Him?’ by James Grant, and ‘How She Loved Him’, by Florence Marryat. '

 

译：“”

 

评：看到后面两个书名还以为又在搞笑，但这些小说都是真的而且大多女作家写的。Macaria 讲的是美国内战时的两位南方女子的经历所为，Home 讲母女关系，是犹太作家写的。

 

 

'The door leading into the yard was open and the wind blew sluggishly in. Before she did anything else, Flora went across and crisply shut it.'

 

译：“通往院子的门开着，风悠悠地吹了进来。在做其他事之前，芙洛拉先走过去，将它轻轻地关上了。”

 

评：sluggish ‘萎顿’；crisply ‘利落地’

 

 

'and had interrupted his work to make his  protest.'

 

译：“因为提出抗议，他的工作被打断了。”

 

评：‘他原本在... 现在停下了手头的工作提出抗议。’

 

 

'protect me from the porridge. It seems to have got tossed about a bit this morning, doesn’t it?’'

 

译：“以免粥弄到我身上。今天早上似乎有些混乱，是不是？”

 

评：‘今天早上好像有人把它扔得到处都是’

 

 

'I have my task to do and my watch to keep, and I cannot run here and run there to fetch newspapers for a capsy wennet. Besides, we’ve troubles enough at Cold Comfort wi’out bringing in sich a thing as a clamourin’ newspaper to upset us and fritten us.’'

 

译：“我要干活儿，要集中注意，不能跑来跑去地拿报纸。另外，我们在令人难以宽慰的农庄已经有够多麻烦了，甭拿什么报纸之类的劳什子来烦我们、吓唬我们。”

 

评：‘我有活干、有东西要看着，没空跑来跑去为一个摆派头的小妞拿报纸’。Adam每次异体词最多，‘capsy wennet’ 只能意会了。（我的猜想是‘自高自大的小妞’，wennet后文还有出现。）‘要什么咋咋呼呼的报纸来吓唬我们，只会给我们添堵’ 。这段前crocket 不会是‘雕花’，该是瓮之类的容器。

 

 

' Is that why everything looks so gone to seed and what-not?’

 

‘There’s no seeds, Robert Poste’s child. That’s what I’m tellin’ ye.'

 

译：“这就是为什么一切看起来都这么衰败[插图]的原因吗？”“没有种子，罗伯特·波斯特的孩子，我告诉汝。”

 

评：这里原文用注释解释gone to seed/no seed 的联系，的确没有合适的直译，勉强可以 ‘看起来都长残了吗？’‘是根本不长啦’ 或取音近的‘是都绝产啦’。

 

 

'A curious veil, like the withdrawing of intelligence from the eyes of a tortoise, flickered across his face.'

 

译：“一抹奇怪的神色，类似乌龟眼中渐渐消失的灵性，犹如面纱般闪烁在他的脸上。”

 

评：‘他的脸上好像隐约蒙上了一层奇怪的面纱，好像灵智从一只乌龟的眼中渐渐隐退。’

 

 

'even that all the family was kept in order by a domineering ghost.'

 

译：“甚至包括所有家庭成员都靠一个专横的鬼魂来维持秩序之类的事。”

 

评：‘甚至包括所有家庭成员都被一个专横的鬼魂管得服服帖帖’

 

 

'a strange sound like the whickering snicker of a teazle in anger.'

 

译：“那是一种奇怪的声音，就像含泪愤怒地发出的窃笑声。”

 

评：teazle 只查得出是一种长刺植物起毛草，不知是否别字，存疑。

 

 

'she would find herself opposed at every turn by the influence of Aunt Ada. '

 

译：“她就会发觉自己做的每件事都会因艾达姨妈而碰壁的。”

 

评：‘每件事都会受到艾达姨妈的阻挠’

 

 

'plenty of rows, and doors being slammed, and jaws sticking out, and faces white with fury, and faces brooding in corners, and faces making unnecessary fuss at breakfast, and plenty of opportunities for gorgeous emotional wallowings, and partings for ever, and misunderstandings, and interferings, and spyings, and, above all, managing and intriguing. '

 

译：“无数被“砰”的一声关上的门，下巴被惊得掉落，因愤怒而煞白的脸，角落里幽怨的脸，对着早餐大惊小怪的脸，还有大量的机会用来沉溺于情感，永恒的别离、误解、干涉、窥探，还有最重要的，操纵和耍阴谋”

 

评：再工整一些：‘多多益善的争执，大力关上的房门，出于敌意而抬高的下巴... 对着早餐小题大做的脸，大量痛快淋漓地沉溺于情感的机会... 操纵和阴谋’ 后面pet stamp collection 不该是“宠物集邮册”，是‘宝贝集邮册’。又，前面的temperament 直接作‘性情’就好了，不必说是“喜怒无常”。

 

 

'it was an attempt, not to explain the Universe, but to reconcile Man to its inexplicability. But, in spite of its impersonal theme,'

 

译：“它是一种尝试，不是为了解释宇宙，而是为了让人类接受它的费解。不过，尽管《高级常识》的主题是客观的，”

 

评：‘它不试图解释宇宙，而是尝试让人类接受它的费解。不过，尽管《高级常识》的主题和人际关系无关，’

 

 

'‘The Higher Common Sense’ outlined a philosophy for the Civilized Being, and the rules of conduct followed automatically.'

 

译：“《高级常识》为文明人勾勒出一种哲学，并提供了应当自动遵循的行为规则。”

 

评：‘... 一种指导思想，读者自然会领会其相应的行为规则。’

 

 

'‘Preparing the Mind for the Twin Invasion by Prudence and Daring in Dealing with Substances not Included in the Outline’'

 

译：“《谨慎而大胆地做好准备以应对大纲中未包含物质的双重入侵》”

 

评：‘《应付大纲中未囊括的事物时如何对粗中有细的入侵做好思想准备》’

 

 

'The Pensées were all very well to fortify one’s spirit against everyday pricks and scourges; Aunt Ada Doom, the crux of life at Cold Comfort, was another matter.'

 

译：“而《思想录》则能令人精神振奋，以此抵御日常的痛苦和灾祸；不过说起艾达·杜姆姨妈，这个令人难以宽慰的农庄生活中的关键所在，则又是另一回事了。”

 

评：‘单为抵御日常的小灾小难，《思想录》就足够提供精神后盾的了；但艾达·杜姆姨妈，冷藉农庄的关键要害，是另一级别的挑战了。’

 

 

'eat food prepared by Adam she could not and would not. '

 

译：“但她可吃不下亚当做的饭，她也不想吃。”

 

评：‘亚当做的饭她可吃不下也不想吃。’

 

 

'Adam, meanwhile, had finished slicing turnips and had gone out into the yard, where a thorn-tree grew, and returned with a long thorn-spiked twig torn from its branches. '

 

译：“与此同时，亚当已经结束了切芜菁甘蓝的工作，出门走进长了一棵荆棘树的院子。他从树上折下一根长长的带刺的树枝，又回到了屋里。”

 

评：不必这么原汁原味的机器翻译吧。‘亚当已经切完了圆菜头，从外面院子里的荆棘树上折下一根带刺的长树枝，带回了屋子。’

 

 

'Why, Robert Poste’s child, ye might as soon send the white hawthorn or the yellow daffydowndilly to school as my Elfine. '

 

译：“汝等可以把白山楂花或黄水仙花当作我的埃尔芬送到学校去。”

 

评：‘送我的埃尔芬去学校，还不如送那白山楂花或黄水仙花去上学。’

 

 

'‘Mus’ Amos, he’s down seein’ the well drained for Sairy-Lucy’s Polly we think she’s fallen into it; '

 

译：“阿莫斯主人下到排水井里了，看看赛利·露西家的波莉在不在，我们都觉得她掉进去了。”

 

评：‘...在让人把井里的水抽干，因为我们都觉得赛利·露西家的波莉掉进去了。’

 

 

'Flora had the grace to colour at his accurate reading of her thoughts, '

 

译：“亚当准确地洞察了她的心思，这让芙洛拉脸红了，看起来更加明艳。”

 

评：‘被亚当看穿心思的芙洛拉诚实地红了脸。’

 

 

'the tall girl in the green cloak, who had just dashed through the kitchen, came running lightly down the corridor towards her... ‘Doing the startled bird stunt,’ thought Flora, giving her a pleasant smile;'

 

译：“身穿绿色斗篷的高个子女孩突然从厨房冲了出来，沿着走廊轻盈地朝她跑来。... 真是惊弓之鸟。”芙洛拉暗想，但还是对她露出一个开心的笑容”

 

评：‘一个身穿绿斗篷的高挑女孩，就是刚刚跑过厨房的那位，沿着走廊轻盈地朝她跑来。... “把受惊的鸟学得十足十的嘛。” 芙洛拉暗想着，对她露出一个愉悦的笑容，’

 

 

'it might have been a good gold if it had been properly dressed and cared for. It all seemed deplorable to Flora.'

 

译：“如果穿着得体并得到精心的照料，她或许是一块发光的金子。这在芙洛拉看来很可悲。”

 

评：是it，不是她。‘如果这头发被精心打理，它会是迷人的金发。在芙洛拉看来这真令人扼腕。’

 

 

'she will only go and keep a tea-room in Brighton and go all arty-and-crafty about the feet and waist.’'

 

译：“她也只能去布莱顿开一间茶室，附庸风雅、耍耍心机了。”

 

评：‘...成为充满艺术气息，专门在脚上和腰头的装饰上别出心裁的女人。’

 

 

' The raw air splintered before the harsh onslaught of her laugh.'

 

译：“浮动着原始气息的空气突然变得稀薄，然后她突然大笑起来。”

 

评：‘她凌厉的大笑击碎了周围森寒的空气。’ 前面有“做自己的安排”->‘自行安排’

 

 

'Give … us … all … time …’ – the words came draggingly and unwillingly '

 

译：“给……我们……所有……时间……”这句话被不情愿地、拖来拽去地说了很多次，”

 

评：‘给……我们……所有人……时间……” 她的话被极不情愿地一个词一个词挤出来’

 

 

'like the blind outflinging of a tortured beast.'

 

译：“像失明的野兽般突然躁动起来。”

 

评：‘像备受折磨的野兽漫无目标的抡动’

 

 

'Then Flora, as delicately as possible, asked her cousin when and how she should pay to her the first instalment of the hundred pounds a year which Flora had anticipated that she would have to hand over to the Starkadders for her keep.'

 

译：“然后，芙洛拉尽可能小心地问表姐，她应该在何时，以及如何支付她第一笔每年一百英镑的费用；芙洛拉原本以为，她必须将钱交给斯塔卡德家保管才行。”

 

评：‘芙洛拉原预计作为花销用度，她每年一百英镑的收入需要交给斯塔卡德家，因此她尽可能婉转地问表姐她应该在何时，以及如何支付这一百磅中的第一笔。’ 

 

 

'’Tes as it should be, seeing the way things are.’'

 

译：“本该如此。”

 

评：‘事到如今，本该如此。’

 

 

'lifting her magnificent head. ‘Child, child, it is many years since such trifles broke across the web of my solitude.’'

 

译：“抬起了壮阔的头颅。“孩子，孩子，我的孤独罗网已经很多年没被这种琐事打破了。”

 

评：‘抬起了壮丽的头颅。“孩子，孩子，孤独在我周围编织的屏障已经很多年没被这种琐事打破了。”’

 

 

'Flora, who was willing to try anything once, gazed too. '

 

译：“芙洛拉也望向窗外，想要再试一次。”

 

评：‘任何事情都愿意尝试一次的芙洛拉也望向窗外。’

 

 

'a slow scarlet wave of blood swept over her breasts and cheeks. ‘Tes the hired girl in labour,’'

 

译：“一股猩红色的鲜血似乎从她的胸脯和脸颊下缓缓流过。“那就是雇来干活的女佣。””

 

评：‘一抹深深的红晕在她的胸脯和脸颊上蔓延开来。“那个女佣在生孩子。”’

 

 

'Judith again made the blind animal gesture of repudiation which seemed to thrust a sodden wall of negation between herself and the world of living things. '

 

译：“茱蒂丝再次像失明的野兽般做了一个否定的手势，仿佛把一堵湿漉漉的否定之墙，插入了她与充满了鲜活生命的世界之间。”

 

评：‘茱蒂丝再次做了那个盲兽般的手势表示决然拒绝，这动作仿佛在她和世间的一切活物之间竖立起了一堵阴湿的否定之墙。’

 

 

'‘Every year, in the fulness o’ summer, when the sukebind hangs heavy from the wains …’tes the same. And when the spring comes her hour is upon her again. '

 

译：“每年盛夏，当素鸡草在墙上沉沉下垂的时候……都是这样。”

 

评：sukebind 是Gibbons生造出来象征性欲的花，所以音译的话可以挑点香软些的字眼，‘酥柯草’？漏了‘到了春天她就又该生产了。’

 

 

'(‘Oh, can’t we?’ thought Flora, with spirit,'

 

译：““哦，我们逃不出吗？”芙洛拉鼓足勇气想”

 

评：心里话不用鼓起勇气想的吧。‘不服气地/泼辣地想’？

 

 

'the beasts of the field,'

 

译：“这种女人就像原野上的野兽。”

 

评：‘粗实得像在田里干活的牲畜。’

 

 

'His body might have been naked, like his full, muscled throat, which rose, round and proud as the male organ of a flower, from the neck of his sweater.'

 

译：“他的身体很可能是裸露的，就像他那丰满、肌肉发达的喉咙一样；这副喉咙如同一朵花的雄蕊，从毛衣领子里伸了出来，看起来饱满而骄傲。”

 

评：‘如此衣着的身体和完全裸露的效果没什么不同，就像他那粗壮、肌肉发达的脖子一样；这条脖子从毛衣领子里伸了出来，像一朵花的雄蕊一样饱满而骄傲。’ 前面的brief shorts就是短裤，不是“朴素短裤”

 

 

'the shame of our house. Cursed be the day I brought him forth and the nourishment he drew from my bosom, and the wooing tongue God gave him to bring disgrace upon weak women.’'

 

译：“看看他——真是我们这房子里的耻辱。我带他来到世上的日子，他从我怀里汲取的营养，上帝赐给他的用来求爱的、令软弱的女人们蒙羞的舌头，这些无不受到了诅咒。”

 

评：house这里是‘家族’。‘我诅咒我带他来到世上的日子，我诅咒他从我怀里汲取的营养，我诅咒上帝赐给他的甜嘴蜜舌，令软弱的女人们蒙羞。’

 

 

'Their dumbness said: ‘Give up. There is no answer to the riddle; only that bodies return exhausted, hour by hour, minute by minute, to the all-forgiving and all-comprehending primaeval slime.’'

 

译：“它们的喑哑似乎是在说着：“放弃吧。”没人能解释这种神秘的情况。一小时接着一小时，一分钟接着一分钟，只有身体会筋疲力尽地重回原始的苗条状态之中，那种苗条是宽容一切、理解一切的。”

 

评：译文标点错。‘放弃吧。终极的奥秘是无解的，每时每刻，只有一具具筋疲力尽的身体会回归初始的淤泥之中，那里宽容一切、理解一切。’

 

 

'Love-children. Pah! That animal, and love! '

 

译：“可爱的孩子们。呸！那个畜生，还有爱！”

 

评：love-child是私生子之意，这里最好用注释解释和下面love的关联，换成‘爱情结晶’有损失但通顺些。

 

 

'Here Flora realized that the conversation was not likely to take a turn in which she could join with any benefit,'

 

译：“这时芙洛拉意识到，谈话不太可能为她带来什么好处了”

 

评：‘...意识到延续这场谈话不太可能对她有裨益’

 

 

'comparing them in number with the empty feather-sockets on the bodies of the chickens;'

 

译：“并将它们的数量与鸡身上空空的“鸡毛窝”做比较。”

 

评：‘并将它们的数量与鸡身上掉毛的地方做比较’

 

 

'Reuben (if it were he) was so engrossed that he did not observe Flora.'

 

译：

 

评：漏了这章最后这句。‘鲁本（如果是他的话）如此全神贯注，全然没有注意到芙洛拉。’

=======================================

第六章

 

不知道这一章会不会也很长。

 

 

'Another school dismissed confinements with a careful brightness, '

 

译：“另一种流派则以谨慎而聪明的方式，对“分娩”一笔带过：“真抱歉——我来晚了——亲爱的——我——刚刚——生了个——孩子——我们——去哪里——吃晚餐？”这样的冷静态度”

 

评：brightness 这里不是聪明，是‘故作’出的‘轻松’，‘刻意的明快口吻’。下面引用的这句里不应该有破折号，中文里会让人觉得是说话大喘气。

 

 

'She sometimes wondered whether the ... method of describing the event in the phrase, ‘She was brought to bed of a fine boy’, was not the best way of putting it.'

 

译：“她有时会想，用“她被一个不错的小伙子抱到床上”那种老套的、无疑是偷懒的方式来描述这件事，是否并非最好的表达方式。”

 

评：这句两处理解反了。‘一个红润的婴儿被送到她的床边’... 莫非也许是最好的表达方式。’

 

 

'A third type of woman novelist combined literature and motherhood by writing a good, serious first novel when they were twenty-six; then marrying, and having a baby, and the confinement over, writing articles for the Press on ‘How I shall Bring Up my Daughter’, by Miss Gwenyth Bludgeon, the brilliant young novelist, who gave birth to a daughter this morning.'

 

译：“而第三种女性小说家则通过在26岁时写下一部好的、严肃的小说处女作的方式，将文学与母性结合起来；然后她们结婚、生孩子，经历分娩之后再给媒体写写《我该如何养育我的女儿》之类的文章，署名格温妮丝·布拉奇恩小姐，内容是这位才华横溢的年轻小说家，今天早上产下了一个女儿”

 

评：‘而第三种女性小说家将文学与母性结合的方式如下：26岁时写出一部优秀而严肃的处女作小说，然后结婚、生孩子，出产房后再给媒体写写《我会如何养育我的女儿》之类的文章，署名格温妮丝·布拉奇恩小姐，作者简介里自称是今天早上产下了一个女儿的才华横溢的年轻小说家。’

 

 

'Some of Flora’s friends had been exceedingly frightened, not to say revolted, by these painstaking descriptions of confinements; and had been compelled to rush off to the Zoo and bribe the keepers to assure them that the lionesses, at least, got through the Greatest Event of Their Lives in decent solitude. '

 

译：“芙洛拉的一些朋友被这些有关分娩的细致描述吓坏了，更别提有多反感了，她们不得不跑去动物园贿赂饲养员，以此让自己相信，至少母狮子是在体面的独处中完成了一生中最伟大的事件的。”

 

评：painstaking 总觉得是对labor本身的痛苦的双关语，所以略别扭地翻为：‘这些对分娩不辞辛劳的描述把芙洛拉的一些朋友吓坏了，还且不说犯恶心的。她们不得不跑去动物园贿赂饲养员，让他们保证母狮子们，至少母狮子们是在体面的独处中完成所谓‘一生中最伟大的事’的。’

 

 

'Flora had also learned the degraded art of ‘tasting’ unread books, '

 

译：“芙洛拉也学会了“阅而不读”的艺术”

 

评：‘芙洛拉也学会了被轻视的对新书“浅尝即止”的艺术’

 

 

'Musing thus, she was relieved when a voice replied: ‘Oo’s there?’ to her tap upon the door of the hut.'

 

译：“想到这些，她十分欣慰。同时，一个声音对她的敲门声做出了回应：“谁啊？””

 

评：‘幸好一个声音对她的敲门声做出了回应：“谁啊？”，让陷入这些思绪的她舒了口气。’

 

 

'The most ordinary actions became, to such persons, entangled in complicated webs of apprehension and suspicion. '

 

译：“对这些人来说，最常见的行为就是陷入恐惧和怀疑的复杂罗网之中。”

 

评：‘对这些人来说，最常见的行为都会陷入恐惧和怀疑的复杂罗网之中。’

 

 

'reading what Flora, who had a nice sense of atmosphere, at once identified as ‘Madame Olga’s Dream Book’. '

 

译：“而一向有着敏锐感觉的芙洛拉一眼就认出，那是《奥尔加夫人的解梦书》”

 

评：‘而一向很能鉴赏氛围的芙洛拉一眼就认出...’

 

 

'Baby there was none, and she was puzzled. But she was too relieved to wonder much what the explanation could be.'

 

译：“屋里没有孩子，她很困惑。但她太过欣慰了，也并不关心原因是什么。”

 

评：‘很奇怪，屋里并没有孩子。但这让她轻松不少，就没有想太多为什么。’

 

 

'Flora started, and stared a little.'

 

译：“芙洛拉稍稍定了定神，说起话来。”

 

评：‘芙洛拉吃了一惊，直直瞪了几秒。’

 

 

'The beginnings of a sullen smile, rather like a plum in quality, touched the hired girl’s sensual lips.'

 

译：“一个阴沉的微笑触动了这位女佣的性感嘴唇。”

 

评：‘一个阴沉、让人联想起一枚李子的微笑触动了这位女佣的性感嘴唇。’

 

 

'‘Ay, I moithered out a bit. I was rememberin’ me trouble yesterday... ’Tain’t so bad as some people make out. '

 

译：“是的，我有点搞错了。我记得我的麻烦是在昨天。... 某些人说得太糟糕了。”

 

评：Meriam语法错误多得感人，可惜不太翻得出来。‘哦，我刚刚在说胡话呢。我在回想我昨天的麻烦。... 这事没某些人说得那么糟。’

 

 

'she recollected that they usually left themselves a loophole by occasionally creating a primitive woman, a creature who was as close to the earth as a bloomy greengage and rather like one to look at and talk to, and this greengage creature never had any bother with her confinements, but just took them in her stride, as it were. '

 

译：“她回想起来，她们常常会给自己留下一个可钻的空子，那就是偶尔创作出一个原始的女人，一个像开花的青梅那样接近大地的生物，而且这个青梅生物从未因分娩而烦恼过，她会带着婴儿大步流星地离去，就同以往一样。”

 

评：‘青梅’在中文里给人的联想太多了，应该慎用吧。 ‘她们往往不把事情写死，而是偶尔创造出一位原生态女性。这种生物像白霜李子那样接近大地，长相和谈吐也和李子相差无几。她们就从未因分娩烦恼，而是履险如夷视之为等闲。’ as it were 示意这里take them in her stride有点双关。

 

 

'Haven’t I enough to bear, wi’ three children to find food for, and me mother lookin’ after a fourth? And who’s to know what will happen to me when the sukebind is out in the hedges again and I feels so strange on the long summer evenings—?’'

 

译：“又来了第四个，还要照顾我妈妈，这还不够我受的吗？等素鸡草再次出现在荆棘丛里，我又在漫长夏夜里感到那么难受的时候，谁知道我身上又会发生什么事呢？”

 

评：‘有三个孩子要喂养，还有我妈替我照看的老四，这些还不够我受的吗？等树篱里的酥柯草又开花了，夏天晚上长得没个头，我身子不爽利的时候，谁知道再会发生什么事呢？’

 

 

'‘Nothing will happen to you, if only you use your intelligence and see that it doesn’t,’'

 

译：“只要你运用智慧，看出它是并不存在的，就什么事都不会发生。”

 

评：这个see不是看到啊。‘只要你长点心眼不让它发生’

 

 

'And carefully, in detail, in cool phrases, Flora explained exactly to Meriam how to forestall the disastrous effect of too much sukebind and too many long summer evenings upon the female system.'

 

译：“芙洛拉用冷静的言语，认真地、详细地向梅里亚姆讲解了预防过多素鸡草的方法，并解释了漫长夏夜对雌性造成的灾难性影响。”

 

评：‘... 讲解了如何预防过多酥柯草以及漫长夏夜对雌性造成的灾难性影响。’

 

 

'‘Nature is all very well in her place, but she must not be allowed to make things untidy. Now remember, Meriam – no more sukebind and summer evenings without some preparations beforehand.'

 

译：“大自然在她自己的位置上待得好好的，但绝不能允许有谁把事情弄得一团混乱。现在记住，梅里亚姆不会再有素鸡草和没经过预防的夏夜了。”

 

评：还蛮好奇Flora建议的是什么避孕方法。‘让大自然安分守己才好，可不能让它把事情弄得一团混乱。梅里亚姆你可要记住了，再过酥柯草和夏夜的时候，你一定要做好预防工作。’

 

 

'The door then opened and on the threshold, taking in Flora from heels to beret with snapping little black eyes, stood a rusty black shawl with a hat alighting perilously upon the knob of hair which crowned the top of its head.'

 

译：“门开了，一个身影——从脚跟到贝雷帽，外加闪闪发亮的黑色小眼睛——吸引了芙洛拉的注意。门槛上站着的似乎是一条铁锈黑色的大披肩，一顶帽子在盘成球形的头发上闪着危险的光，而“球”则像皇冠般高高地顶在脑袋上。”

 

评：‘门开了，一双锐利的小眼睛从门口把芙洛拉从头（上的贝雷帽）到脚打量了一边。伴随这双黑色眼睛的是一条铁锈黑色的大披肩，一团盘得高高的头发，和一顶在发球上盘踞得颤颤巍巍的帽子。’

 

 

'snapped the shawl... Ah! it was a black day for me when I took up with Agony Beetle and left Sydenham for Sussex (all my people live in Sydenham, miss, and have these forty years). Wash them? Well, I never thought I’d live to hear of anyone up at Cold Comfort wanting a bit of washing done. They might begin on that old Adam of theirs, or whatever he calls himself, and no harm would be done, I’ll lay.'

 

译：“披肩被猛地打开了，... 对我来说，那一天真是黑暗的日子。我和艾格尼·比特尔（Agony Beetle）[插图]好上了，后来离开西顿汉姆，去了萨塞克斯（我家所有人都住在西顿汉姆，小姐，已经有四十年了）。... 他们这习惯可能是从老亚当开始的——不管他叫自己什么。”

 

评：领略这里的强力吐槽吧。‘披肩女士气呼呼地说:“... 我和艾格尼·比特尔成亲搬到萨塞克斯那天可真是黑暗的一天。（那之前我住在西顿汉姆，我家族所有人都住在西顿汉姆，小姐，已经有四十年了。）... 他们要开始洗东西的话该先从那个叫什么老亚当的开始，我敢打赌那么做不会有坏处。”’

 

 

'‘Well, you needn’t sound as though you wished they wouldn’t,’'

 

译：“好吧，你这么说真没必要，听起来就像你不希望他们没事似的。”

 

评：‘呸，你至少别说得听上去你希望他们有事似的。’

 

 

'replied Mrs Beetle, promptly. ‘I seen in the “News of the People” that they earns as much as six pounds a night playin’ up West in night-clubs. Well, I thought, here’s a jazz-band ready-made to me ’and, as you may say; and it’s better still now there’s four of them. I’ve got ’em all under me hand in one family, so’s I can keep an eye on the lot of them while they’re learnin’ to play... They’ll need all their strength if they ’ave to sit up till the cows come ’ome playin’ in them night-clubs.’'

 

译：“比特尔夫人迅速回答，“我在《人民新闻》上看到的，他们会在西部的夜总会里演出，一晚上的收入就能高达六英镑。好吧，我就想，正如你可能会说的，这是一支为我准备的乐队，有他们四个真好。他们都是小家伙，和我是一家人，我可以在他们学习演奏时监督他们。。。因为到那时，如果他们必须等奶牛们回家之后再去夜总会演奏一整夜的话，他们得使出浑身力气才行。”

 

评：‘迅速’->‘不假思索地答道’ ‘在西部的夜总会里演出的乐队，一晚上的收入能高达六英镑。那我就想，我这儿可以说是有现成的乐队了嘛，现在有四个了就更好了。小家伙们几个都由我照管，我可以盯着他们学乐器。。。在夜总会演出可是得熬夜的，身体不结实可挺不下来。’ until the cows come home 是弄得很晚的意思。

 

 

'the shrill beam shed by the personality of Mrs Beetle, which seemed to gather into one all the tenuous threads of the half-formulated desires of the two women which throbbed about them.'

 

译：“从比特尔夫人的个性中散发出的耀眼光束。这道光束似乎将两个女人身上所有悸动的、尚未成型的欲望，从无数捉摸不定的细线汇成了整齐的一条。”

 

评：‘...耀眼光束。两个女人身上悸动着的种种尚未成型的欲望，像无数捉摸不定的细线一样，被她的个性汇聚到一起。’

 

 

'In thick, lewd whispers, she began to tell her mother what Flora had advised her to do. Her voice rose … fell … rose … fell … its guttural syllables punctuated by the swish of Mrs Beetle’s broom.'

 

译：“她低声说了几句下流话，开始将芙洛拉劝告她做的事告诉她妈妈。她的音调扬起……落下……扬起……落下，喉间发出的音节夹杂着比特尔夫人挥动扫帚的嗡嗡声。”

 

评：‘她低声将芙洛拉劝告她做的事告诉她妈妈，口气含糊而粗鄙。她的音调扬起而落下，扬起而落下，喑哑的音节和比特尔夫人挥动扫帚的刷刷声此起彼伏。’

 

 

'‘Well, you needn’t sw-sw-sw-sw about it as though you was talkin’ to someone from the Vicarage,’ observed Mrs Beetle at the conclusion of her confidences. '

 

译：“好吧，你不必这样‘嗡嗡嗡嗡’地说，就像在和牧师忏悔似的。”在梅里亚姆说完、自信地得出结论后，比特尔夫人说，”

 

评：‘切，你不必说得这么哼哼唧唧的，好像在跟牧师那里来的人讲话一样。’听完女儿的私房话后，比特尔夫人这么发表她的感想。’

 

 

'And I’ll lay she’s no better than she ought to be, a bit of a kid like ’er sailing in ’ere as bold as brass and talkin’ to you about such things... Not that I ’old with wot she told you, mind you. It ain’t right.’'

 

译：“我敢说，她并没有那么好，大老远跑到这儿来，厚颜无耻地和你说这些，真是孩子气。... 她告诉你的那些事，我可理解不了，你要当心，这是不对的。”

 

评：‘我敢说她没那么守规矩，看着年纪还小呢，却大大方方地跑来跟你说这些，一点都不知道害臊/恬不知羞的。... 别搞错，我不是说我赞成她说的话。那么做是歪门邪道。’

 

 

'agreed her daughter, heavily'

 

译：“她的女儿表示赞同，缓缓地高声说”

 

评：‘她女儿口气沉重地赞同到。’

=======================================

第七章

 

三场遭遇战，Flore够忙的。

 

 

'whence she had retreated to arrange some buds and branches which she had picked on her morning walk'

 

译：“她曾在那里整理散步时摘下的花蕾和树枝。”

 

评：不是‘曾’，她就躲在自己的卧室里插花

 

 

'And yet, on second thoughts, it seemed probable that lunch cooked by a Starkadder and partaken of in solitude would only make her worse.'

 

译：“但转念一想，这顿午饭很可能是斯塔卡德家的某个人做的，孤独地参与其中或许会让她感觉更糟。”

 

评：‘但转念一想，要独自进餐，吃的还是哪位斯塔卡德做的东西，这样的午饭很可能会让她感觉更糟。’

 

 

'thus far escaped meeting'

 

译：“还没有见过”

 

评：‘逃过了和... 会面’

 

 

'And yet she shrank from boldly entering the kitchen where the family sat at the manger, and introducing herself.'

 

译：“但现在，当这一家人坐在食槽边，她甚至还不敢大胆地走进厨房做自我介绍呢。”

 

评：‘但她也不愿意等这一家人坐在食槽边的时候贸贸然地走进厨房，做一番自我介绍。’

 

 

'A smile indicating a shuddering thankfulness, as of one who peers into a pit into which others have fallen while she has escaped, passed over the face of Mrs Murther, as she replied that she did not.'

 

译：“莫瑟太太回答说没有；与此同时，一个象征着感激的微笑颤抖着掠过了她的脸庞，就像一个眼看着别人掉进大坑而自己却逃过一劫的人露出的笑容一样。”

 

评：‘莫瑟太太回答说没有；她同时露出的微笑里包含着一种胆战心惊的感激，好像眼看着别人掉进大坑而自己却逃过一劫。’又，下面不是“开张”，只是说‘提供午餐’。

 

 

'‘Oh well, mustn’t grumble’, though Flora knew better than to expect to hear it in Howling, where everybody felt that they must grumble, and all the time at that.'

 

译：“哦，得了，别发牢骚了。”尽管芙洛拉也知道，在嚎叫村听到这句话的频率原比想象中还要多，因为那里的所有人都觉得他们必须发牢骚，而且要一直发下去才行。”

 

评：这句话是劝自己的：‘‘唉罢了，不牢骚了。’尽管芙洛拉也知道不能在嚎叫村指望听到这句话。这里的所有人都觉得他们的牢骚必须发出来，而且一刻不能停。’

 

 

'‘He would be,’ '

 

译：““他会是……”芙洛拉轻声咕哝”

 

评：‘他还会是什么呢。’

 

 

'A person who was merely talented would have weakly changed his name by deed-poll.'

 

译：“天才往往会通过单边执行契约的方式改变自己的名字。”

 

评：（够不上天才级别的）‘如果这人仅仅有一般才华，他才不会这么硬气，早就会提交改名契把这姓改了。’

 

 

'intellectuals and geniuses seldom fell for females of their own kidney, who had gone all queer about the shoes and coiffure, but concentrated upon reserved but normal and properly dressed persons like herself, who were both repelled and alarmed (not to say bored) by the purposeful advances of the said geniuses and intellectuals.'

 

译：“知识分子和天才们很少倾心于和他们自身脾气性格相仿的女性，他们的鞋子和发型都十分古怪，却被她这样虽然保守却很正常、着装得体的人所吸引，而对于上述这些天才和知识分子们意志坚定的求爱，她则往往感到既恐惧又惊慌（更不用说厌恶了）。”

 

评：前面的who是她们：‘...热衷于把鞋子和发型弄得稀奇古怪的女性’ 后面Flora反应没那么强烈： ‘她则往往感到既反感又诧愕（且不说意兴索然）’

 

 

'And she fell to finishing her apple tart a little more quickly than was comfortable,'

 

译：“她继续吃起了苹果馅饼，但这回没有那么舒服了，她的速度更快了一些。”

 

评：‘于是她放弃了之前舒坦的节奏，加速吃她的苹果馅饼。’

 

 

'soothed Mrs Murther, reading her thoughts with disconcerting readiness. ‘He’s up on the Downs in all weathers, and a nice old lot of mud ’e brings into the ’ouse too. '

 

译：“莫瑟太太读出了她的心思，安慰道，同时又有些尴尬地欲言又止。“不论什么天气，他都会去唐郡的。”

 

评：没有欲言又止吧。‘莫瑟太太读出了她的心思，安慰道。她的洞察力让Flora有点尴尬。... 还老把大坨泥巴带进屋子里来。”’

 

 

'She did not bother to glance into her little parlour to see if her own tea were on the table. She went straight into the kitchen.'

 

译：“她不愿费心去偷窥她的小客厅，看看桌子上是否放着自己的茶。于是她便径直走进了厨房。”

 

评：‘她料定她小客厅的桌子上没有摆上自己的茶点，就没去张望而径直走进了厨房。’

 

 

' there were no preparations for tea in the kitchen; she realized, as soon as she saw the ashy fire and the crumbs and fragments of carrot left on the table from dinner,'

 

译：“厨房里是没人准备喝茶的；一看到饭桌上昨天晚餐时留下的炉灰、食物残渣和胡萝卜碎屑，”

 

评：这里的下午茶最好点出是一定要配置点心的。‘一看到几乎被灰烬覆盖的炉火和饭桌上昨天晚餐时留下残渣碎屑’

 

 

'said Flora, getting her blow in first'

 

译：“芙洛拉抢先说”

 

评：‘芙洛拉先发制人’

 

 

'The man’s big body, etched menacingly against the bleak light that stabbed in from the low windows, did not move. His thoughts swirled like a beck in spate behind the sodden grey furrows of his face.'

 

译：“昏暗的光线刺穿了低矮的窗户，那个男人的巨大身躯一动不动，仿佛被光线凿出了危险的线条。他的脸湿透了，在灰色的皱纹后面，思绪就如山洪暴涨般汹涌澎湃。”

 

评：‘昏暗的光线刺穿了低矮的窗户。那个男人一动不动，巨大身躯被逆光切出让人畏惧的轮廓。他面上濡湿，发灰的沟壑后面，思绪就如洪水横流。’

 

 

'A woman … Blast! Blast! Come to wrest away from him the land whose love fermented in his veins like slow yeast... His gaze was suddenly edged by a fleshy taint'

 

译：“对这片土地的爱就像酵母菌，在他的血管里缓慢地发酵，而一个女人……该死！该死！她要从他的手里将它夺去。... 他的目光突然犀利起来。”

 

评：酵母菌这句应该放在‘该死’etc后面比较通。‘犀利’似乎不如‘浊重’。 trampling bride-pride 存疑。

 

 

'The opaque curve purred softly down into the teak depths of the cup.'

 

译：“浑浊的曲线发出呜呜声，被吹入了茶杯柚木色的深处。”

 

评：curve是指牛奶，怀疑这个动词原应作‘purl’。其实这句可以是Flora对Starkadders影响力的比喻。‘纯白液体的卷须轻柔地延伸向茶杯棕橙色的底部。’

 

 

'After a silence which lasted seven minutes by a covert glance at Flora’s watch,'

 

译：“沉默了七分钟之后，鲁本瞟了一眼芙洛拉的手表。”

 

评：感觉这里是芙洛拉在偷瞟才合理。

 

 

'one might say, ‘My dear, how too sickening for you!’ '

 

译：“一个人可能会回答：“ 亲爱的，你也太差劲了！”

 

评：‘这也太难为你了！’

 

 

'and her guardian angel (who must, she afterwards decided, have been doing a spot of overtime) impelled her to add:’ '

 

译：“而她的“守护神”（她后来觉得，它一定是加班过度了）促使她补充了一句”

 

评：‘...(她后来觉得祂一定在为她加班加点)...’

 

 

'He thought she had designs on the farm!'

 

译：“他以为她在打农庄的坏主意！”

 

评：就‘打这座农庄的主意’就好了吧？

 

 

'A mirksy, capsy word to use to a man as has nursed a farm like a sick mommet '

 

译：“对一个照料着病怏怏的土地、对每一寸土地上的素鸡草都了如指掌的男人来说，这是多么火辣辣的用词。”

 

评：这里好像又出来生造词了，mirksy capsy我理解为‘轻轻巧巧高高在上’。‘把这个农场当一位体弱多病的孩子那样悉心照料’

 

 

'it seemed incredible to her that anyone could possibly want it,...  just think what a mess I should make of the sukebind harvest and everything.'

 

译：“人人都想拥有农庄”这个想法在她看来简直就是不可思议的... 光是想想收割素鸡草和其他的那些事，就有多混乱啊！”

 

评：‘在她看来，居然有人想要这座农庄这事简直不可思议... 你就想啊，要是换我来管酥柯草的收割什么的，肯定会都弄得一塌糊涂。’

 

 

'‘Ay, them’ll last me till Michaelmas to cletter the dishes wi’ – there’s nothin’ like a thorn twig for cletterin’ dishes. Ay, a rope’s as good as a halter to a willin’ horse. '

 

译：“是的，要是没有像它们一样可以刮盘子的东西，它们也够我用的了，能一直用到米迦勒节。是的，对好马来说，”

 

评：‘喏，这些够我一直用到米迦勒节了，再没有比荆棘枝更称手的洗盘子工具了。嗯，对一匹乖马来说，绳子就像笼头一样好用。’

 

 

'with a cool smile' 'the kind that could be fobbed off with offers of tea.'

 

译：“一个清高的微笑” “用邀请喝茶来讨好的人”

 

评：‘冷静自持的微笑’ ‘用下午茶的邀请可以打发的人’

 

 

'(Flora wondered why he had seen fit to drop his voice by half an octave.) ‘Women are all alike – aye fussin’ over their fal-lals and bedazin’ a man’s eyes, '

 

译：“（芙洛拉很想知道，他是怎么做到把声音降了半个八度的）。“女人们全都一个样——忙着做些毫无用处的衣服装饰，”

 

评：‘（芙洛拉很想知道，他为什么觉得需要把声音降低半个八度）’‘——在打扮上挖空心思，把男人看得五迷三道的’

 

 

'Then when they’ve got him bound up in their fal-lals and bedazin’ ways and their softness, and he can’t move because of the longin’ for them as cries in his man’s blood '

 

译：“等到把他绑在她们毫无用处的衣服装饰和温存中之后，他便动弹不得了，因为她们对他的渴望，就像男人血液里的哭叫声一样”

 

评：渴望的方向反了：‘她们精心打扮温言细语让男人坠入温柔乡里，男人对她们从血肉里发出的渴望让他们动弹不得’ 

 

 

'‘Indeed,’ commented Flora.'

 

译：“的确。”芙洛拉评论道。”

 

评：这里是不置可否的说法：‘“真的啊。”芙洛拉不咸不淡地说。’

 

 

'mainly a kind of jockeying for place, a shifting about of the pieces on the board before the real game began. '

 

译：“主要是一种通过耍手段来占领地盘的行为，一种在游戏正式开始前擅自挪棋的举动。”

 

评：‘主要是一种在游戏正式前占据有利位置、事先调整棋子阵容的做法，’

 

 

'in Cheltenham and in Bloomsbury gentlemen did not say in so many words that they ate women in self-defence, '

 

译：“的确，在布鲁姆斯伯里和切尔滕纳姆，绅士们不会因为自卫而说太多有关“吃掉女人”的话，”

 

评：‘...绅士们不会明说他们会为了自卫吃掉女人’

 

 

'You’re just the same as the rest, for all your London ways. Mealy-mouthed as a school kid. I’ll lay you don’t understand half of what I’ve been saying, do you? … Liddle innercent.’'

 

译：“你就和其他人，和你们所有那些伦敦佬一样。像小学生似的，说话拐弯抹角。我敢说，你连我说的一半都不明白，对吗？幼稚。”

 

评：‘尽管你有伦敦人派头，你和别的女人也没什么不同。说话嗫嗫嚅嚅像小学生似的。我敢说，你连我说的一半都不明白。对吗，小天真？”’

 

 

'The dark flame of his male pride was a little suspicious of having its leg pulled.'

 

译：“他那男性的骄傲火焰有些暗淡了。”

 

评：这里的mixed metaphor 蛮可爱的。‘他那男性的骄傲火焰有点怀疑她是在哄他。’

 

 

'‘To play darts?’ Flora knew her A.P.H.'

 

译：“”

 

评：查不出APH是什么，存疑 

 

 

'‘Noa … me play that kid’s game with a lot of old men? That’s a good ’un, that is. '

 

译：“我会和一群老男人玩孩子的游戏？”

 

评：漏了‘切，那才搞笑呢。’

 

 

'And something in the inflection which Seth gave to the last word of his speech, the lingering, wistful, almost cooing note which invaded his curiously animal voice,'

 

译：“当塞思这段抑扬顿挫的话说到最后一个词时，一个余音袅袅、伤感惆怅、近乎柔声细语的音符，闯入了他那动物般古怪的声音中。”

 

评：‘说到最后那个词时，塞思的音调有点不一样，他原本莫名兽性的声音里渗入了一丝留恋而惆怅、近乎情意绵绵的音色。’

 

 

'Violet down at the Vicarage, nor anything.’'

 

译：“唐郡的紫罗兰，”

 

评：该是人名：‘牧师家的薇欧拉’

 

 

'displaying courteous interest, but showing nothing of the plan which had suddenly occurred to her; '

 

译：“表现出既有礼貌又感兴趣的样子，但对于这些突然发生的事，她丝毫不清楚应该采取怎样的计划；”

 

评：‘仅仅表现出出于礼貌的兴趣，完全没有泄漏出方才她灵机一动想出的计划；’

 

 

' (he was evidently inflamed by this discussion of his passion) '

 

译：“（他显然是被这场有关激情的讨论挑起了情绪）”

 

评：‘谈到他挚爱后，他的一腔热血显然被勾起来了’

 

 

'She had had a plan for making the most of Seth,'

 

译：“她已经想到了一个计划，可以充分运用在塞思身上”

 

评：‘她已经有了个让塞思人尽其才的计划’

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《冷》II