[personal profile] aqiun
7. Spring / 春天
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原文:'Their February squawks and naked chirps are fully fledged now, and long lyrics fly in the air. Birdsong catches in the mountains’ rim and pools in the valley; it threads through forests, it slides down creeks.'
译:“它们在二月里的嘎嘎和啾啾此时已羽翼丰满,长长的曲调在空中飞翔。婉转鸟声在山丘的外缘和山谷的水塘如火如荼地展开,穿过林子,滑下小溪。”
评:naked和后面fledged有呼应,应该不能省略。后一句不是catch fire只是catch,更加让人往线的方面想象: ‘二月里它们光秃秃的嘎嘎啾啾此时已羽翼丰满,悠长的曲调在空中飞翔。婉转鸟声牵绊在山丘的外缘和山谷的水塘,穿引过林子,滑荡下小溪。’
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原文:'like the careful emptiness inside a cello or violin, and the notes of the song gather fullness and reverberate through the house.'
译:“正如大提琴或小提琴琴身谨慎的空心,因而歌曲的音调集中而饱满,在屋内四处回荡。”
评:‘正如大提琴或小提琴琴身小心地留出的空心,因而歌曲汇集成一颗颗饱满的音符,在屋内四处回荡。’?
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原文:'unhorn its lipless mouth,'
译:“让没有嘴唇的鸟喙扁下去,”
评: ‘让无唇的鸟喙失去角质,’?
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原文:'We need someone to unlock the code to this foreign language and give us the key; '
译:“我们需要有人来打开这种外国语言的密码锁,并将钥匙给我们;”
评:不用这么明喻了吧?‘我们需要有人来解开这种外语的密码,并将密钥给我们;’
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原文:'he had botched it utterly.'
译:“所以他说得简直一团糟”
评: ‘所以他完全搞砸了。’
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原文:'It does not matter a hoot what the mockingbird on the chimney is singing. '
译:“反舌鸟在烟囱上到底唱些什么根本毫不相干。”
评: 翻不出这个pun,只是想指出这里的hoot是猫头鹰叫声,蛮可爱的。
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原文:'having being externally, stumbled across or missed, as real and present as both sides of the moon.'
译:“是以外在的形式存在的,或者遇上或者错过,和月亮的正面反面一般地真实,存在眼前。”
评: ‘它的外在形式和月亮的正面反面一般地真实,同样存在于当下,不管被人偶遇或者错过,’
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原文:'Beauty itself is the language to which we have no key; it is the mute cipher, the cryptogram, '
译:“美本身就是一种语言,我们无钥匙可开其锁;那是一种无声的暗语,是暗号的记载,”
评: ‘美本身就是一种语言,我们没掌握它的密匙;’ cryptogram 直接就是密语吧?
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原文:'Second base is a Broadway, a Hollywood and Vine; but oh, if I’m out in right field they can kiss me goodbye. '
译:“二垒是个百老汇,是个好莱坞和维恩;可是啊,假如我在右外野,他们就可以把我封杀了。”
评:这里两个reference形容多点可能更易理解: ‘二垒是万众瞩目的百老汇,是好莱坞和维恩大道相交的黄金地段;可是啊,假如我到右外野去了,他们就别指望我回来/再回头了。’
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原文:'a rigid froth slit by narrow cells. '
译:“露出硬硬的泡泡,让窄窄的细胞弄了一道罅缝。”
评: ‘露出硬硬的、由窄窄细胞隔出罅缝的一团泡泡。’ ?
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原文:'a third spread a luminous haze wherever they grew,'
译:“三分之一,是只要有树之处,皆成一片光亮的薄霭,”
评: ‘三分之一的树,不管长在哪里,都在其四周漫散出一片光亮的薄霭,’
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原文:'“’long about spring of course she’s knee-deep in moon-shavings,” '
译:““春天上下的时候,她当然正削月亮削得不可开交。””
评:直译就行了吧,‘当然春天上下的时候,她身边堆积的月亮薄片都深得没过膝盖了。’
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原文:'they swam bright and quivering, '
译:“它们明亮地抖动着,游来游去,”
评:忍不住想起《小石潭记》: ‘它们游来游去,翕忽明亮’
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原文:'it would swim off as if in disgust at a bad job.'
译:“它也会游走,犹如嫌恶一件讨人厌的工作。”
评:好像是化用了give (something) up as a bad job这个词组 ‘它也会嫌恶地游走,好像知道没戏了。’
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原文:'The mountains act as islands; evolution does the rest,'
译:“那些山具有岛的功能;其他的就交给进化,”
评: ‘那些山起的隔绝作用类似海岛;余下的就都是进化的事了,’
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原文:'as the saying goes, “the hand of man has never set foot,” '
译:“:​“从来没有人的手踏足过。​””
评: 这里的手/足对比挺好玩的,‘开发者向来在这里吃闭门羹’(??)
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原文:'the rangers there keep a live one handy by sticking it in a Baggie and stowing it in the refrigerator, like a piece of cheese.'
译:“山区管理员会把蝾螈丢进塑胶袋,像块乳酪一样存放在冰箱,好让手边经常备有一条活的蝾螈。”
评:‘山区管理员手边经常备有一条活的蝾螈:只要把蝾螈丢进塑胶袋,像块乳酪一样存放在冰箱里就行了。’
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原文:'The woods were flush with flowers. '
译:“林子里开满了花,”
评: ‘林子里花事丰美。’?
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原文:'they enclosed, like cupped palms sheltering a flame, a tiny tulip leaf that was curled upon itself and bowed neatly at the middle. '
译:“它们包住了一片小小的鹅掌楸叶子,就像松状棕榈叶护着火焰;那叶片往内卷起,优雅地端坐中央。”
评: ‘它们包住一片小小的鹅掌楸叶子,就像合拢的手掌捧护着火焰;那叶片往内卷,秀气地躬着身。’ 网上找到的照片好像不太像bowed at the middle的样子 - https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-young-leaf-of-american-tulip-tree-on-a-branch-tuliptree-tulip-poplar-104025919.html?imageid=B86DA15C-D6FD-4941-BFD0-7F39DAC7E775&p=180303&pn=1&searchId=083cac8325b5bbe0543856b2ef87f71e&searchtype=0
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原文:'The leaf was so thin and etiolated it was translucent, but at the same time it was lambent, minutely, with a kind of pale and sufficient light. '
译:“叶片如此之薄且泛白,几成透明”
评: 因为后文说叶子带光,为了让转折成立etiolated要说得更确切一些吧,‘叶片如此之薄,且看似因缺光而泛白’
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原文:'like the liquid dip a skater’s leg makes on the surface film of still water.'
译:“像是溜冰者的腿在静止的水面上点出来的液态凹陷。”
评: ‘像水黾的腿在静水的表面上点出来的液态凹陷,堪堪未破。’ 著名的表面张力例子啊
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原文:'It seemed near to bursting with possibilities, like the taut gum over a coming tooth. This three-foot sapling was going somewhere, too; it meant business.'
译:“好像随时都可能胀破,犹如即将长出的新牙上面那层拉紧了的牙肉。这个三英尺高的小苗也在成长,它可是很认真卖力的。”
评: ‘它好像马上要被鼓鼓的可能性撑破了,犹如即将长出的新牙上面那层紧绷的牙龈。这株三英尺高的小苗当会前程远大,它认真坚定锐不可当。’
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原文:'A big elm in a single season might make as many as six million leaves, wholly intricate, without budging an inch; '
译:“一棵大榆树,光是一个季节里就可能制造出六百万片树叶,全都十分繁复,却也不费吹灰之力;”
评: ‘光在一个季节里,一棵大榆树最多可能制造出六百万片树叶,叶叶完整精致,却从不见它如何动弹。’
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原文:' it heaves up tons and hurls them out in a green, fringed fling. '
译:“它拉起好几吨的东西,然后将它们往外掷成一片带缝的翠绿。”
评: ‘...举起...,然后一掷千绿’
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原文:'also believed that plants conceive in the spring of the western wind Flavonius.'
译:“还认为植物在西风法沃尼厄斯[59]的春季怀胎”
评: ‘还认为春季里植物会为西风法沃尼厄斯怀胎/被西风受孕’
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原文:'he glaciers are calving; brash ice and grease ice clog the bays.'
译:“冰河正在破裂,脆脆的冰和油亮的冰塞满了海湾。”
评:查了下,calving也是专用词,brash ice: accumulation of floating ice made up of fragments not more than 2 meters (6.6 feet) across, the wreckage of other forms of ice.
grease ice: a very thin, soupy layer of frazil crystals clumped together, which makes the ocean surface resemble an oil slick. 中文对应不清楚,但借用https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%B5%B7%E5%86%B0里的词汇:
‘... 碎冰和冰皮堵塞了海湾。’
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原文:'the famous arctic mosquitoes of which it is said, “If there were any more of them, they’d have to be smaller.”'
译:“尝云:“假如还有这种蚊子,它们一定得长得小一点。””
评:这个笑话不错。 ‘尝云:“假如这种蚊子还想增多数量,它们只能长得小一点了。”’
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原文:'Where it rams solid ice it punches it free and shoots it downstream, buckling and shearing: ice adds to ice, exploding a Juggernaut into motion.'
译:“碰到了坚硬的冰块,就将冰块撞松,射向下游,冰块碎裂并切割着:冰上加冰,最后一座庞然神像爆裂并开始移动。”
评: ‘...就将冰块撞松,冰块齐齐射向下游,同时受压弯曲折断:冰上加冰,在爆裂中形成一座庞然大物,移动间力敌千钧。’
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原文:'The woods are a clog of green, and I have to follow the manner of the North, or of the past, and take to the waterways to get around. '
译:“林子是一片绿色,”
评:因为后面是讲无法通行,clog是要的,‘林子被绿色壅塞,’
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原文:'But maybe I think things are more difficult than they are'
译:“但是我想事情可能要比想象中困难,”
评: ‘但是可能我把事情想象得过于困难了,’
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原文:'It was just as well, because we were in the middle of a July drought, and the clay ground was fired hard as rock.'
译:“那倒也罢了,因为正值七月里闹旱灾,黏土地给烧的硬得像石头。”
评: ‘那其实也不算坏事,因为正值七月里闹旱灾,黏土地日受烤炙,硬得像石头。’
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原文:'With precious little ceremony he dumped the mare into the landfill '
译:“仪式也没怎么举行,他就把母马丢在掩埋场里,”
评: ‘他直截了当地把母马丢在掩埋场里,半点仪式感也无。’
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原文:'bullfrogs hopping all over each other '
译:“彼此挤成一堆,跳来跳去。”
评: ‘互相跃过彼此的头顶,不可开交。’
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原文:' snarl creatures in hopeless tangles.'
译:“并且堵塞了其他生物,无望地纠成一团。”
评: ‘并且羁绊住各种生物,使它们纠成一团,逃脱无望。’
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原文:'somewhere else, a jumping green flare, absolutely silently'
译:“然后在另一个地方又跳起来。跳跃的火焰,绝对的安静”
评: ‘..., 跳跃的绿色火苗一晃而逝,绝对静默’
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原文:'Tonight I walked around the pond scaring frogs; a couple of them jumped off, going, in effect, eek, and most grunted, and the pond was still. '
译:“今天晚上我沿着水塘岸边去,一路吓青蛙。有两只跳开来,还发出唧唧的叫声,其他大半都低鸣,而池塘一片沉寂。”
评: ‘...; 有两只跳开来,发出的叫声等同于‘哎吗’,大多数咕哝了一声,池塘就沉寂下来。’
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原文:'There is a muscular energy in sunlight corresponding to the spiritual energy of wind. '
译:“阳光里有一种像肌肉的能量,与风中那种精神能量相呼应。”
评: ‘阳光里的能量是肌肉型的,与风中那种精神性的能量相呼应。’
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原文:'multiply so fast you can practically watch a submersed green leaf transform into a brown fuzz.'
译:“繁殖速度快到了可以就这么看着一块浸在水里的绿叶,转变成一团褐色毛茸茸的东西。”
评: ‘繁殖速度奇快,一片浸在水里的绿叶转变成一团褐色绒毛的过程几乎肉眼可见。’
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原文:'mayfly nymphs hide in the weeds, mosquito larvae wriggle near the surface,'
译:“蚊子幼虫在靠近水面的地方扭动着,”
评:漏了 ‘蜉蝣幼虫藏在杂草间,’
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原文:'It was also slender as a thread. It looked like an inked line someone was nervously drawing over and over. '
译:“它犹如线一般地纤细,”
评: 漏了 ‘它像纺线一般纤细。它看上去像谁在焦灼中拿墨笔反复描出来的一根线条。’
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原文:'all the diverse crustacean minutiae—copepods, ostracods, and cladocerans like the abundant daphnias. '
译:“此外还有各种各类的甲壳小动物——桡足类、介形亚纲动物和水蚤,看起来像是数目众多的蚤类。”
评: ‘此外还有各种各类的甲壳小动物——桡足类、介形亚纲动物和蚤类,例如数目众多的的水蚤。’
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原文:'Even such a sober limnologist as Robert E. Coker characterizes the movement of plankton as “milling around.”'
译:“就连罗伯特·E·科克尔那么沉着的淡水生物学家,都将浮游生物的动作形容为“团团转”。”
评: 赞团团转,但sober 该作‘严肃’解释才对应口语化的‘团团转’吧?
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原文:'and at last can muster only a halting twitch.'
译:“最后只能提起力气来扭了一下,便静止不动了。”
评: ‘最后只剩力气断断续续地挛缩几下。’
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原文:'in a rush of sentiment '
译:“出于一阵情绪激荡”
评: ‘恻隐之心勃发/情感泛滥/一阵心软’
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原文:'these microscopic forays'
译:“这些显微镜出征”
评: ‘这些向微世界的出征’
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原文:'a constant reminder of the facts of creation that I would just as soon forget. '
译:“,经常提醒我创造之事实,这些事实我也经常很快就忘了。”
评: ‘,时时提醒我创造之事实,这些我经常宁可抛诸脑后的事实。’
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原文:'I was created from a clot and set in proud, free motion:'
译:“我由一团血块所创造出来,并赋予我傲人的、自由的行动能力,”
评: ‘我由一小块东西造出来,并被赋予了自以为傲的自由行动能力,’
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原文:'since I’ve seen it I must somehow deal with it, take it into account. '
译:“我无论如何得处置它们,得考虑到它们。”
评: ‘我必须以某种方式接受/应对它们的存在,把它们考虑进来。’
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原文:' try to look spring in the eye.'
译:“试着将春天瞧个清楚。”
评:更加直译的话: ‘试着正视春天。’ 突然好奇‘端详’的‘端’怎么解

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8. In.tricacy / 错综复杂
好好笑,标题居然触线了,其实倾向于译为‘繁复精细’。结果是和fringe这个词抵死周旋的一章。
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原文:'His belly, what there is of it, is white ventrally, and a patch of this white extends up his sides—the variegated Ellery.'
译:“它的腹部,那所谓的腹部呈白色,且有部分延伸到两侧——是条富于变化的埃勒里鱼。”
评: ‘它的腹部,那小得只勉强可称作的腹部呈白色,且有部分延伸到两侧——我们的埃勒里属杂色株。’
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原文:'he handed me a knotted plastic bag bouncing with water in which a green plant floated and the goldfish swam.'
译:“他便给我一个打了结的塑胶袋,里面水波晃动,一株绿色植物漂浮着,而金鱼在游动。”
评: ‘... 里面水波晃动,漂浮着一株绿色植物,游着一条金鱼。’
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原文:'microscopes with two eye-pieces like a stereoscope in which the world’s fragments—even the skin on my finger—look brilliant with myriads of colored lights, and as deep as any alpine landscape. '
译:“就像立体镜头一般,可以让全世界的吉光片羽,甚至我手指头上的皮肤看起来极其美妙,会有一大堆各种色泽的光,并且像阿尔卑斯山上的景观那么深峻。”
评:这里是化腐朽为神奇的意思吧,吉光片羽这个词虽然美不能用在前面。‘可以让全世界的碎片,甚至我手指头上的皮肤,都看起来极其美妙——色泽繁丽如吉光片羽,深邃如阿尔卑斯山景。’
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原文:'nourished by the simple plank of complex light, the plankton is blooming. '
译:“,浮游生物受到那片复杂的光的滋养,”
评:想保留simple和complex的对比,‘单纯地因为有那一片复杂的光,浮游生物受到滋养,... ’
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原文:'The elodea is not considered much of a plant. '
译:“一般并不把水草完全看做是植物。”
评: ‘大家公认水蕴草不是植物中的佼佼者/在植物界位居末流 。/水蕴草称不上是如何出色的植物。/水蕴草在植物中断断评不上优等。’ 直白地说看低某种植物有点不好意思,尽管也是幽默所在。
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原文:'the eddying currents of the river of transparent cytoplasm, a sort of “ether” to the chloroplasts, or “space-time,” in which they have their tiny being. '
译:“显示了透明细胞质的河流中回旋的水流,那是类似叶绿体的“灵气”,或是“时空”,其微小的生命存在其中。”
评: ‘...那可说是叶绿体的“以太”,或是“时空”,其微小存在的生存介质/所依赖的介质。’
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原文:'up against the vegetative wall.'
译:“抵着那道关乎生长的墙壁。”
评: ‘抵着那道植物专有的细胞壁。’
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原文:'And so on diminishingly down. We have not yet found the dot so small it is uncreated, as it were, like a metal blank, or merely roughed in—and we never shall.'
译:“诸如此类往下递减。我们还没找到小得尚未创造出来的点,或还只是个轮廓,譬如说,像是尚未铸造成形的金属——而且我们也永远不会找到。”
评: ‘诸如此类,尺寸递减。我们尚未找到小得可说是未经创造凭空存在的、类似金属原料的那个点,或小得仅有粗略轮廓的那个点——而且我们永远不会找到。’
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原文:'We go down landscape after mobile, sculpture after collage, '
译:“我们经过动态雕刻之后是风景画,拼贴之后是雕刻,一直到...”
评: ‘我们一路往下,从动态雕刻到风景画,从拼贴到雕刻,一直到...’
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原文:'And it all works. '
译:“而且全都发生作用。”
评: ‘而这一切都运转畅通/工作良好。’?
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原文:'The creator, I would add, churns out the intricate texture of least works that is the world with a spendthrift genius and an extravagance of care.'
译:“造物主以挥金如土的秉赋和奢华的关爱,大量制造最微不足道之作品里的繁复构造,那就是这个世界。”
评: ‘造物主大肆挥霍其秉赋和关爱,挥手间大量制造/批量造出其最微不足道的作品——即这个世界——里的繁复构造。’
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原文:'These statistics, and all the various facts about subatomic particles, quanta, neutrinos, and so forth, constitute in effect the infrared and ultraviolet light at either end of the spectrum. They are too big and too small to see, to understand;'
译:“这些数据,以及所有有关次原子粒子、量子、中子等等的事实,其实构成了光谱两端的红外线和紫外线。它们太大又太小,因而无法看见,无法了解。”
评:因为是个比方:‘这些数据,以及所有有关次原子粒子、量子、中子等等的事实,相当于构成了位于光谱两端的红外线和紫外线。...’
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原文:'they are more or less invisible to me though present, and peripheral to me in a real sense because I do not understand even what I can easily see. '
译:“它们虽然存在,对我而言可以说是看不见的,而且实实在在是在边缘,因为我连看得见的东西都不了解。”
评: ‘...,对我而言差不多是隐身的,而且真真切切地处于我的视野边缘,因为我连轻易可见的东西都不了解。’
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原文:'everything I have seen is wholly gratuitous. The giant water bug’s predations, the frog’s croak, the tree with the lights in it are not in any real sense necessary per se to the world or to its creator. '
译:“我看到的所有东西都是毫无道理的。巨型田鳖的掠食、蛙鸣、会发光的树,其本身,说真的,对这个世界或是创世者而言,都没有必要。”
评: 引这么长主要是想证明gratuitous这里作‘白给的,毫无缘由的’应该更好些。‘白给’这层意思对应前面造物主的spendthrift 和extravagance,所以宁可啰嗦了。
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原文:'The point about that being... is that, as I think about it, it accumulates in my mind as an extravagance of minutiae. The sheer fringe and network of detail assumes primary importance. '
译:“其重点在于,我一面思索它,它就一面在我心中累积起来,像是毫无节度地增加细目。光是细节的周边和网络就占了最重要的地位。”
评: ‘其重点在于,在我思索它的过程中,它在我脑海中累积的形式乃是细节的堆砌铺张。细节的雕镂和攀缠程度本身占据了最重要的地位。’?
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原文:'The first question—the one crucial one—of the creation of the universe and the existence of something as a sign and an affront to nothing, is a blank one.'
译:“有关这宇宙的创造,有关某种东西之存在——以作为对乌有之表征和侮辱——那第一个问题,那唯一重要的问题,是个空白的问题”
评:私以为sign和后面的nothing没有关联,‘‘这宇宙的创造、以及事物的存在,是不是神意的表征和对乌有的挑衅呢?那是最先的问题,是唯一重要的问题,亦是个空白的问题。’
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原文:'The words refer to the shrinking or imprisonment of essences within the various husk-covered forms of emanation or time. '
译:“这些字是指将精华收缩或禁锢在各种包有外壳形式的散发或时间里。”
评:forms of emanation 这话可能牵涉到Emanationism(流溢说)的宇宙观,类似‘道生一,一生二,二生三,三生万物’,值得注释一下吧。‘这些字指的是将真髓收缩或禁锢在时间,或各种包有外壳的散发物里。’
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原文:'Wouldn’t it be simpler just to rough in a slab of chemicals, a green acre of goo?'
译:“那干脆画下一堆化学元素,一亩绿色的,粘粘的东西,岂不更简单?”
评: ‘那干脆草草地摆出一大坨各种化学元素,一亩粘粘的绿东西,岂不更简单?’
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原文:'Intricacy means that there is a fluted fringe to the something that exists over against nothing, a fringe that rises and spreads, burgeoning in detail.'
译:“繁复的意思是,一道有凹槽的边,围着某种相对于乌有而存在的东西,那道边上升并往外扩散,萌生出各种细节。”
评: ‘繁复的意思是,某种东西——相对于乌有而存在的东西——周围的边缘饰有凹槽,并上升且往外扩散,急速萌生出大量细节。’? rises 这里也可能是‘发酵膨胀’,而不仅仅是高度的
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原文:'He gives like water, he spreads and fills unseeing. '
译:“他像水一般地给予,他视而不见地扩展并充塞。”
评: ‘他至柔如水,他不停地蔓延充盈,不看一眼/他不用去看便能蔓延充盈。’
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原文:'making a million barbules on each feather, fluted and hooked in a matrix of clasped hollowness. '
译:“使得每一根羽毛上都有一百万个羽小枝,皆有凹槽,并钩起来,排成一个紧扣在一起的整齐中空之物。”
评: ‘...凹槽,并钩起来形成一个中空紧扣中空的矩阵。’
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原文:'The lone ping into being of the first hydrogen atom ex nihilo was so unthinkably, violently radical, that surely it ought to have been enough, more than enough. But look what happens. You open the door and all heaven and hell break loose.'
译:“第一个氢原子乒一声无中生有地独自诞生,此事如此之不可思议,如此暴烈地激进,实在应当是足够的了。可是你看结果怎样了。你把门打开,天堂地狱就都逃脱了。”
评: ‘叮的一声...不可思议,如此暴力激进,实在应该是足够了,都太多了。可是你看后来怎么了。你把门打开,天堂地狱即齐齐一发不可收拾。’
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原文:'as the “ratchet” that prevents the whole shebang from “slipping back.”'
译:“这种特性会表现得像“棘轮”一般,这棘轮会防止整个东西“往回滑动”。”
评: ‘这种特性会表现得像防逆转的“棘轮”一般,防止整座结构“向后滑退”。’
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原文:'Behind them is a foot which is clawed and this is partly used for removing unwanted particles from the feeding appendages.” '
译:“”
评:补:‘它们后面是一只带爪的足,其部分功用是把不需要的颗粒从进食附属器官中除去。’
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原文:'In and out go the intricate leaf edges, and “don’t nobody know why.”'
译:“繁复的叶缘里里外外都有,而且“谁都不知道为什么”。”
评: 理解为叶缘形状:‘繁复的叶缘就这么上上下下起起伏伏,而“没人晓得为啥子”。’
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原文:'All the theories... tumble under an avalanche of inconsistencies. '
译:“所有这些理论,全都在杂沓纷至的矛盾下栽了筋斗。”
评: 索性直译了,‘都被纷纷扬扬汇聚成雪崩的前后矛盾处压趴下了’,或换一下语序:‘前后矛盾处杂沓纷至,汇聚成雪崩,把所有这些理论都压趴下了。’
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原文:'neither bother nor impress other people even slightly.'
译:“别人连一点儿也不烦心或留下印象。”
评: ‘别人一点儿也不为之烦神或震动’
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原文:'I am horribly apt to approach some innocent at a gathering'
译:“我很可怕地会有一种倾向,在聚会中和某个无辜的人攀谈,”
评: ‘聚会时我有一种可怕的倾向,会找个无辜的人攀谈,’
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原文:'I don’t know where I imagined I’d learned this piece of anatomy. '
译:“不知道我是从哪里想象自己曾经学到过这样的身体构造。”
评: ‘不知道我想象自己是从哪里学到这条身体构造知识的。’
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原文:'If half the string fell into a very narrow loop, that would be the Henle’s loop. Two other bits of string that rumpled up and tangled would be the “proximal convoluted tubule” and the “distal convoluted tubule,” shaped just so.'
译:“假如那条线成为一个非常窄的环圈,那就会是亨勒氏襻另外两团皱成一堆,缠在一起的线,会是“近端卷曲小管”和“远端卷曲小管”,其形状如同其名。”
评:专有名词按维基里的翻译法,‘假如那条线的一半形成一个非常窄的环圈,那就会是亨利氏环。另外两头线各自缠绕团皱成一堆,便是“近曲小管”和“远曲小管”,其形状恰如其名。’
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原文:'By going from here to there in such a roundabout way, the Henle’s loop packs a great deal of filtering tubule into a very narrow space. But the delicate oxbow of tissue, looping down so far, and then up, is really a peripheral extravagance, '
译:“可是由这儿到那儿是如此迂回曲折的一条路,亨勒氏襻好多的过滤细管装在一个非常窄小的空间里。然而那细致的U形组织,环圈往下伸得那么远,又再往上,那真是一种末梢的铺张;”
评: ‘因为绕那么大一圈从这儿走到那儿,亨勒氏襻得以把好多的过滤细管装进一个非常窄小的空间里。然而那纤细的U形组织,环圈往下降得那么远,又再重新往上升,那真是一种往末梢/细枝末节去的铺张;’ 为什么让我想起锦衣夜行。
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原文:'“is composed of irregular cuboidal cells with characteristic brushlike striations (brush border) at the internal, or luminal, border.” Here are my own fringed necessities, '
译:“这些细胞内部或管腔的边缘,具有那特殊的、像刷子般的细槽(刷缘)。这些是我自身的边缘必需品,”
评:‘这些细胞的游离面,即管腔内壁边缘,具有那特殊的、像刷子般的细纹(刷状缘)。这些是我自身的带缘饰的必需品,’
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原文:'it appears that all our intricate fringes, however beautiful, are really the striations of a universal and undeserved flaying. '
译:“就好像我们所有的繁复边缘,无论有多美丽,其实只是普遍、然而不该有的剥皮所产生的细槽。”
评: ‘...只是比比皆是且无故/无辜遭受的剥皮/蹂躏留下的条痕。’ flay这个词好狠
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原文:' the creation is not a study, a roughed-in sketch; it is supremely, meticulously created, created abundantly, extravagantly, and in fine.'
译:“创造不是一幅习作,不是一幅只有轮廓的素描;它是以最了不起的、严谨的方式创造出来的,丰盛地,铺张地,总括地创造出来的。”
评:in fine ‘以最终形式/以成稿’ ?
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原文:'Look at an overwintering ball of buzzing bees, or a turtle under ice breathing through its pumping cloaca.'
译:“看看那一团嗡嗡蜜蜂过冬的球,或是一只冰雪底下的乌龟,用能抽汲的排泄腔来呼吸。”
评: ‘看看那一些嗡嗡的蜜蜂抱团过冬,或是一只冰层下的乌龟... ’
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原文:'convoluted as any human brain'
译:“犹如任何人脑般盘堆在一起”
评: ‘错综盘绕得堪比任何人脑’
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原文:'see that not only did the creator create everything, but that he is apt to create anything. He’ll stop at nothing.'
译:“你会看到造物主不单只是造了所有的东西,而且他倾向于创造任何东西。他绝不会罢休的。”
评:想保留这个everything/anything/nothing的排比,‘而且什么东西祂都可能会造出来。没有东西能够阻止祂/没有东西难得住祂一丁点。’
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原文:' If the creature makes it, it gets a “stet.”... Utility to the creature is evolution’s only aesthetic consideration. '
译:“假如有种生物通过了,就批个“不予删除”。... 对生物而言,实用是进化在美学上的唯一考虑。”
评: ‘假如有种生物存活下来了,就批个“保留”。... 对生物是否实用是进化在美学上的唯一考虑。’
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原文:'... I know nothing. Except that, apparently, anything goes.'
译:“显然,除此之外,什么都可以。”
评: ‘对形式本身的各式各样... 我完全不懂/我什么都不知道。除了这条:其宗旨看起来是‘什么都行/没什么不可以的/百无禁忌’。’
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原文:'Welcome aboard. A generous spirit signs on this motley crew.'
译:“欢迎上船来。一种宽大的精神与这五花八门的工作人员一同工作。”
评: ‘欢迎加入。收揽了如此五花八门的全体人员/一干人等的是一种宽大的精神。’
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原文:'pulsing live jars, engorged vats, teats, with an eyed animal at the head thinking—what?'
译:“脉动着,像是活生生的广口瓶,暴食暴饮的大桶、奶头,而头顶上有个被注视着的动物在想——什么嘛?”
评:engorged 一菜两吃,‘像是活生生的,搏动着的广口瓶、填满的大桶、肿胀的奶头,而脑袋长着眼睛有思想的动物——它在想什么呢?’
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原文:'the terminal hooks are capable of grasping prey well in front of the larva'
译:“而终端的钩子能够将猎物牢牢地抓在幼虫前方,”
评:这个well是修饰 in front of的吧, ‘而终端的钩子能够钩到幼虫前方老远的猎物,’
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原文:'tiny silken balloons '
译:“紧抓着细小如丝般的气球”
评:顾名思义的话好像会有误导,因为蛛丝没有被真的做成气球形状,‘微小的蛛丝风筝’ c.f https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballooning_(spider)
[br]
原文:'yields a profusion that is quite beyond what I consider thinkable. '
译:“得出来的丰富形式会超出我想象。”
评: ‘得出的极大丰富远远超出我认为能够认知的’
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原文:'The creator goes off on one wild, specific tangent after another, or millions simultaneously, with an exuberance that would seem to be unwarranted, and with an abandoned energy sprung from an unfathomable font. '
译:“造物主一再做狂乱的、特定的改变,或是千万个同时进行,带着一种看来不应有的旺盛活力,还带着一种由深不可测的圣水盆中涌出的放纵能量。”
评: ‘造物主一再一往无前地偏离原旨/离题万里,或是同时游离向千万个方向,其意兴盎然得似乎毫无由头,其能量放纵恣意,自深不可测的圣水盆涌出。’
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原文:'the way a line has got to curve, split, or knob.'
译:“一条线非得那样弯曲、分岔或是成球状的样子。”
评: knob 都不是动词,有点怀疑是knot 误印,‘打结’
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原文:'it all fits together like clockwork'
译:“这一切都有条不紊地互相配合”
评: ‘这一切都有条不紊,如钟表齿轮般精密配合 ’
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原文:'it all surges in such a free, fringed tangle. '
译:“在于这一切以如此自由且边缘的一团混乱方式涌现出来。”
评: ‘在于这一切如此牵丝绊藤地涌现出来,自由自在,须须拉拉。’
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原文:'the creator loves pizzazz.'
译:“造物主喜爱丰繁浮夸”
评: ‘造物主钟爱那光彩奕奕/蓬勃花哨/逞妍斗色’?
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原文:'which is to try to impress myself at all times with the fullest possible force of their very reality.'
译:“也就是要尝试让自己时时刻刻对感受到它们的存在所可能具有的最大力量,留下印象。”
评: ‘也就是要试图让自己时时刻刻感知它们的存在,让其存在尽可能发挥最大力量,让我铭记于怀。’ ?
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原文:'... its random heaps of mountains, its frayed fringes of shore'
译:“地球的特色就在于它的崎岖不平,它随意坐落的山岳,它边上给磨损了的海岸线”
评: ‘地球的特色就在于它的崎岖不平,它山岳的随意堆摆,它海岸线的剥蚀迂曲’
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原文:'the earth would be seen to resemble in shape, not a sphere, but a pineapple, pricked by irregularities. '
译:“它的形状看起来应该是像个凤梨,而非球体,外表很不平整。”
评: ‘它的形状看起来应该不像球体,而是像个凤梨,外表被戳刺得沟壑坎坷。’
[br]
原文:'What if you had an enormous globe in relief that was so huge it showed roads and houses—a geological survey globe, a quarter of a mile to an inch—of the whole world, and the ocean floor! '
译:“如果你有一个巨大的浮雕地球仪,大到可以显示出全世界的道路和房舍,还有海底!那是个地质调查的地球仪,四分之一英里比一英寸的比例。”
评: ‘如果你有一个巨大的浮雕地球仪,地质调查专用,连海底地形都显示出来!以四分之一英里比一英寸的比例,大到可以显示出全世界的道路和房舍。’
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原文:'the free-standing sculptural arrangement of furniture in rooms,'
译:“房间内的摆设,不需支撑的雕塑家具”
评: ‘房间内被摆设得如同自立雕塑的家具’
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原文:'Where is the one thing you care about on earth, the molding of one face?'
译:“地球上你在意的那样东西——那表面的塑型——在哪里呢?”
评: ‘世上你唯在意的那样东西——那张面庞的立体轮廓——在哪里呢?’
[br]
原文:'live out their lives and call it world enough.'
译:“在过日子,而那就是它们的世界了”
评: 想强调world enough多一点,‘认为那里是足以终其一生的全世界。’
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原文:'The texture of space is a condition of time. Time is the warp and matter the weft of the woven texture of beauty in space, and death is the hurtling shuttle. '
译:“空间的质地是时间的一个条件。”
评: ‘空间的质地是时间形成的。’
[br]
原文:'Yet as I looked at the band of time, all the individual people, I understood with special clarity, were living at that very moment with great emotion, in intricate detail, in their individual times and places, and they were dying and being replaced by ever more people, one by one, like stitches in which whole worlds of feeling and energy were wrapped, in a never-ending cloth.'
译:“然而当我注视这条时间之带时,特别清楚地了解到,所有的人都在那一刻怀着极大的热情活在当下,细节错综复杂。然后他们死去,一一让更多的人给取代,好像一针一针给织出来,其中包藏了许许多多情感和能量的世界。这匹布一直织下去,无有止境。”
评: ‘然而当我注视这条时间之带时,特别清楚地了解到,所有的人都在那一刻以极大的情感活在各自的此刻此地,活出繁复的细节,而后死去,一一被更多的人取代;每个人都像一枚针脚,包藏了整世界的情感和能量的针脚,落在一匹无有止境的布上。’
[br]
原文:'the whole sky brushed with clouds in pallid streaks, '
译:“而整个天空呈现了白云画成的苍白条纹;”
评: ‘漫天的云在天幕上描出苍白纹缕’ ?
[br]
原文:'Those people who shoot endless time-lapse films of unfurling roses and tulips have the wrong idea. '
译:“那些不断拍摄玫瑰和郁金香快速绽放的人其实搞错了。”
评: ‘没完没了地缩时录影玫瑰和郁金香绽放的那些人’
[br]
原文:'through a glass darkly'
译:“幽暗地透过镜片观看”
评:没想到这是圣保罗的名言, ‘对着镜子观看,影像晦暗’
[br]
原文:'We find ourselves in the middle of a movie, or, God help us, a take for a movie, and we don’t know what’s on the rest of the film.'
译:“我们会发现自己正在看电影,或者,老天爷保佑,只是影片中的一景,而我们不知道片中其他部分是些什么。”
评: ‘我们会发现自己是从电影中间开始看的,或者,更糟糕/没救了的话,看的只是影片中的一景,全不知片子的其他部分发生了什么。’
[br]
原文:'Say you could look through John Dee’s mirror whizzing through space;'
译:“假设你可以看到约翰·迪依的镜子快速穿过太空;”
评:啰嗦版, ‘假设约翰·迪依的镜子快速穿过太空时、你真的能往镜子里看;’
[br]
原文:'The beginning is swaddled in mists, blasted by random blinding flashes.'
译:“开头是给裹在雾里,有随意发生,令人目眩的闪光爆发出来。”
评: ‘开头给雾重重裹着,时有极耀眼的闪光随机爆发。’
[br]
原文:'Clouds materialize and shift; now you can see the earth’s face through only random patches of clarity.'
译:“云雾形成、飘移。现在你只能透过东一块西一块的清晰处,看到地球的表面。”
评: ‘...现在你只能透过东一块西一块的空隙处,清晰地看到地球的表面。’
[br]
原文:'like pack ice rent by a widening lead.'
译:“犹如冰块被扩大的沟渠撕裂”
评: 学到了A lead is a large fracture within an expanse of sea ice。中文就‘被逐渐扩大的裂缝撕开’?
[br]
原文:'The ice rolls up, grinding green land under water forever; the ice rolls back. '
译:“冰块滚过去,永远磨碾着水底下的绿地;冰块又滚回来。”
评: ‘冰滚过来,永久地将绿地磨碾到水下;冰又退回去了。’
[br]
原文:'Forests erupt and disappear like fairy rings. '
译:“森林爆发,犹如魔戒般消失。”
评: ‘森林爆发又消失,犹如蘑菇形成的仙人环/圈。’
[br]
原文:'like patches of alpine blossoms that flourish for a day an inch above the permafrost, that iced earth no root can suck, and wither in an hour. '
译:“犹如阿尔卑斯山上一片片花卉,在永冻层上一英寸之处盛开一天;那永冻层是结了冰的土,没有任何根吸得到水,一小时之内就会枯萎。”
评: ‘犹如阿尔卑斯山上仅盛开一天的花海;花朵身下一英寸就是永冻层,没有任何根能从这种冻土里吸到水,一小时之内就会枯萎。’
[br]
原文:'The great human figures of history, those intricate, spirited tissues that roamed the earth’s surface, are a wavering blur whose split second in the light was too brief an exposure to yield any image but the hunched, shadowless figures of ghosts. '
译:“历史上的伟大人物是一些繁复,充满生气的组织,在地表上游荡,他们是正在摆荡着的一片模糊,在光中一闪而过,出现的时间那样短暂,根本留不下任何印象,只见弯腰驼背,没有影子的鬼魅身形。”
评: ‘历史上的伟大人物,那些一度在地表上游荡、繁复而充满生气的组织,是一片晃动模糊,一闪而过;其曝光时间那样短暂,留下的影像至多是些佝偻无影的鬼魅。’
[br]
原文:'The great herds of caribou pour into the valleys like slag, and trickle back, and pour, a brown fluid.'
译:“一大群一大群的美洲驯鹿涌进山谷,又陆陆续续走回去,又涌入,一片褐色的液体。”
评: ‘庞大的美洲驯鹿群如一炉炉熔渣般注入山谷,又以涓涓细流淌走,又倾注而来,一种褐色的液体。’
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原文:'Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery. '
译:“我们的生命是谜面上一条模糊的痕迹。”
评: 这里的mystery和riddle还是有区别的吧,riddle规模小很多。‘谜面’太容易让人往后者想,‘谜的表面’
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原文:'Mystery itself is as fringed and intricate as the shape of the air in time. Forays into mystery cut bays and fine fiords, but the forested mainland itself is implacable both in its bulk and in its most filigreed fringe of detail. '
译:“谜本身就像时间里那空气的形状,具有边缘且错综复杂。对这则谜发动的攻击,切割出海湾和美好的峡湾,但满布森林的大陆,无论是它的体积,还是由最精细的功夫造出的边缘细节,则是残酷无情的,”
评: ‘谜本身就像空气经历时间构成的形状,边缘错综,精细复杂。... 但满布森林的大陆本身,上至它整座庞大体积,下至其最雕镂精细的边缘细节,皆全然无以撼动。’
[br]
原文:'The whole creation is one lunatic fringe. '
译:“整个创始就是个狂热分子。”
评:又中fringe的埋伏了。 ‘整个创始就是个狂热的偏激分子。’?也想起‘剑走偏锋’但这个词太中式了。
[br]
原文:'Thoreau climbs Mount Katahdin and gives vent to an almost outraged sense of the reality of the things of this world:'
译:“梭罗去爬卡塔丁山,对世上事物的真相发表了几乎不可置信的说法:”
评: ‘...一股脑地把自己对世上事物的现实的感受写了下来,其感情强烈得几近愤慨:’
[br]
原文:'What is this Titan that has possession of me? '
译:“这拥有我的巨大身躯是什么?”
评:在Thoreau的《缅因森林》里找到这句。‘这支配我的巨神是什么?’
[br]
原文:'We knew, looking around, that a thought branches and leafs, a tree comes to a conclusion. '
译:“我们环顾四周,了解到,想法会分枝生叶,结果成为一棵树。”
评: ‘想法会分枝生叶,一棵树会做出定论,这些我们环顾四周就能了解到。’
[br]
原文:'Intricacy is that which is given from the beginning, the birthright,'
译:“错综复杂从一开始就存在,是出生权;”
评: ‘错综复杂是开始就有的既定事实,是与生俱来的份额。’
[br]
原文:'a world ceaselessly bawling with newness.'
译:“日新月异的世界里”
评: 直译试试:‘新意鼓噪无止的世界里’
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原文:'I see sharks limned in light twist in a raised and emerald wave.'
译:“还看到鲨鱼在升起的翠绿浪波里,在光的扭折中给描绘出来。”
评: twist的是鲨鱼,‘还看到升起的翠绿浪波里,鲨鱼被光勾勒出的扭折身影。’
[br]
原文:'The wonder is—given the errant nature of freedom and the burgeoning of texture in time... grace gratuitous, pennies found'
译:“神奇的是,自由虽具迷妄的性质,时间的质地虽然在萌芽,... 还有善意的恩宠和许多个找到的一分钱”
评: ‘神奇的是,尽管自由本身即意味着不走正道,质地随着时间急速衍生,... 平白的恩眷,捡到的分币 ’
[br]
原文:'Beauty itself is the fruit of the creator’s exuberance that grew such a tangle, and the grotesques and horrors bloom from that same free growth, that intricate scramble and twine up and down the conditions of time.'
译:“美本身即是创造者丰茂的果实,长成了一团纠结;而怪异和恐怖也同样绽放在那自由的成长之中,在那时间的条件里,处处皆有的繁复乱七八糟并纠缠。”
评: ‘美本身即是创造者繁盛活力结出的果实,这团蓬勃生气长得自由恣意、扭结一处,怪异和恐怖也绽放在于此,于那攀缘缠络在时间的条件/限制之上的繁复里。’
[br]
原文:'This, then, is the extravagant landscape of the world, given, given with pizzazz, given in good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.'
译:“这个,就是这世界奢华的景观,呈现了出来,活泼泼地呈现了出来,恰如其分地呈现了出来,压缩起来、摇挤在一起、满溢出来。”
评:good measure...之言来自路加福音6:38,揉进现有的中译版‘摇匀压实,满满地倒给你们’/‘連搖帶按、 上尖下流的、 倒在你們懷裡’:‘这个,就是我们被给予的奢华的世界景观,给予得潇洒活泼,给予得慷慨豪迈,摇匀压实、满溢出来地给到我们怀里。’

======================
9. Flood / 洪水
[br]
原文:'When is the real hot stuff coming, the mind-melting weeding weather?'
译:“那种令人思绪融化、削弱的天气。 ”
评:weeding查不出消弱的意思,‘那种拔草拔得令人头脑融瘫的天气。 ’
[br]
原文:'It’s summer now all summer long.'
译:“现在整个季节都是夏天了。”
评: ‘现在整个夏天都是夏天的样子了。’
[br]
原文:'like etiolated potato sprouts in a root cellar. '
译:“像地底下根里面白化的马铃薯芽”
评: ‘像地窖里存放的马铃薯生出的白化的芽’
[br]
原文:'clutching an incongruous light bulb stranded by receding waters.'
译:“在退去的水旁,抓着一个很不协调的灯泡。”
评: ‘抓着一个很显突兀的灯泡,是退去的洪水留在那里的。’
[br]
原文:'the Tarleton twins on thoroughbreds cantering away from the gates of Tara'
译:“就好像是塔尔顿家的双胞胎骑着纯种马慢慢离开塔拉农场的大门”
评: canter 说是介于trot和gallop之间的慢跑,也不是那么慢吧,要不和垃圾车speed away对不上,‘...塔尔顿家双胞胎骑着纯种马,跑出塔拉庄园的大门’
[br]
原文:'I stood on my own porch, exhilarated, unwilling to go indoors.'
译:“我站在自己的阳台上,不愿进屋去。”
评:漏了点 ‘...兴致高昂,...’
[br]
原文:'Everything was so exciting, and so very dark.'
译:“每一件事都如此让人兴奋,而且那么黑。”
评: ‘什么东西都那么让人兴奋,又那么黑。’
[br]
原文:'the high creek obliterates everything in flat opacity.'
译:“这高涨的溪水一点也不清澈”
评:喜欢这个flat但想不出特别好的, ‘... 颜色呆滞’?
[br]
原文:'I see rushing, a wild sweep and hurry in one direction, as swift and compelling as a waterfall. '
译:“只见到争先恐后,一片狂野、朝着一个方向急窜的流水,像瀑布般疾速且迫人。”
评:“一片”字面上没问题,只是觉得wide sweep更动态些,‘狂放扫荡’?compelling ‘不可抗拒/势不可挡’?
[br]
原文:'like the run-together whaps of a helicopter’s propeller after the engine is off, '
译:“像直升机引擎关掉了以后,螺旋桨突然松掉的轰然一声”
评: ‘螺旋桨一记赶着一记啪啪的破空声’
[br]
原文:'The water arches where the bridge’s supports at the banks prevent its enormous volume from going wide, forcing it to go high; '
译:“岸上有桥墩支撑着桥,防止桥那巨大的桥身垮掉,而溪水就在那个地方被迫往上拱过去。”
评:volume是水的吧,‘岸上有桥墩支撑着桥,限制了那巨大水量可及的宽度,由此溪水就在那地方被迫弓/垒得高高的。’
[br]
原文:'I feel dizzy, drawn, mauled.'
译:“我感到昏眩、沉溺、打伤。”
评: ‘我感到昏眩、被吸引、被痛揍/撕裂。’
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原文:'from the fixing of my eyes at one spot against the motion of the flood. '
译:“因为眼睛固定看着移动洪水中的某一点。”
评: ‘因为眼睛的聚焦点是以洪水的移动为背景的。’
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原文:'but if I look upstream, I feel as though I am looking up the business end of an avalanche.'
译:“但如果往上游看,就好像看到正在发生的雪崩。”
评: ‘...在仰望移动中的雪崩前锋’
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原文:'the creek is more like itself when it floods than at any other time: mediating, bringing things down. '
译:“溪水泛滥时比任何时候更像它自己:斡旋、挟物而流过。”
评: ‘... 流播、捎带东西’
[br]
原文:'spatter the ground or streak it in curving windrows.'
译:“或像被风吹散的垃圾,弯弯曲曲地列在地上。”
评: ‘或像一道道弯曲排列、待被晾干的谷物’
[br]
原文:'Right behind the road’s shoulder are waves, waves whipped in rhythmically peaking scallops, racing downstream. '
译:“路肩后面就是波浪,像扇贝上的起伏,有节奏地向下游狂奔。”
评: ‘路肩后面就是波浪,其有节奏的起伏像扇贝边缘那样,向下游狂奔。’
[br]
原文:'the survivors have a field day with no competition.'
译:“存活下来的就毫无竞争对手,可以享受一天。”
评: ‘存活下来的没了竞争对手,可以大肆享用/畅所欲为了。’
[br]
原文:'But you’d think the bottom would be knocked out of the food chain'
译:“不过你可能会以为食物链的基层就此给击垮”
评: ‘不过食物链的基层理该就此给击垮... 不是吗?’
[br]
原文:'a few hours later, his wife was evacuated from the front door in a motorboat.'
译:“几小时以后,太太从前门撤离了,乘坐一艘马达船。”
评:motorboat 是斜体加重语气的,为了类似效果: ‘仅仅几小时以后,太太从前门撤离了,乘坐却不是汽车,是一艘马达船。’
[br]
原文:'a low brick wall that was built to retain the creek away from the house at high water. The wall holds just fine, but now that the creek’s receding, it’s retaining water around the house. '
译:“这墙是用来防堵水位高涨时的溪水的。墙倒是坚固,但现在溪水退了,它却让水积在房子四周。”
评:‘这墙是用来防止水位高涨时的溪水入侵的。墙倒是坚固,但现在溪水退了,它却把水堵在房子四周。’ (放弃保留retain的重复了)
[br]
原文:'The kids have spotted a rattlesnake draping itself out of harm’s way in a bush;'
译:“小孩子看到一条响尾蛇想办法让自己从灌木丛里脱身,”
评: ‘小孩子看到一条响尾蛇为了避洪挂在灌木丛上,’
[br]
原文:' I could stand at the railing as at the railing of a steamboat, shouting deliriously, “Mark three! Quarter-less-three! Half twain! Quarter twain!…” as the current bore the broken bridge out of sight around the bend before she sank….'
译:“我可以站在栏杆旁,就像站在一艘蒸汽船的栏杆旁,狂乱地大叫:“三!二又四分之三!一!二分之一!……”这时,在桥尚未沉下前,水流将断桥带向转弯处,之后便不见踪影……”
评:这段都是假设: ‘若是桥断了,我可以趁它被水流带过转弯处之前,趁它在众人目光之外沉落之前站在栏杆旁,就像站在一艘蒸汽船的栏杆旁,狂乱地大叫... ’
[br]
原文:'Their voices from with in sound distant, but with an underlying cheerfulness '
译:“不过语气中有一种潜在的愉悦”
评: ‘语气中有愉悦打底’ ?

======================
10. Fecundity / 丰沃
根据后文意思看‘丰沃’这个词好像太褒义柔软了,原译中用到的‘繁殖力’其实挺好。
[br]
原文:'as they squirmed three feet deep'
译:“我看着它们在三英尺深的地方扭动着,”
评: ‘足足三英尺厚的鱼群扭动叠压’
[br]
原文:'For nightmare you eat wild carrot, which is Queen Anne’s lace, or you chew the black stamens of the male peony.'
译:“噩梦里面你吃下野生胡萝卜,而胡萝卜竟又是安着安妮女王式的花边[80],或者你嘴里嚼着雄性牡丹花的雄蕊。”
评: ‘预防噩梦的方子是食用野生胡萝卜,也称安妮女王的花边,或者可以嚼雄性牡丹花黑色的花蕊。’
[br]
原文:'I brought it upon myself, this slither, this swarm.'
译:“这都是我自己惹来的,这滑腻,这一大群。”
评: ‘这滑溜的老一大群/这滑腻,这攒动。’
[br]
原文:'I suppose it is the teeming evidence that birth and growth, which we value, are ubiquitous and blind, that life itself is so astonishingly cheap, that nature is as careless as it is bountiful, and that with extravagance goes a crushing waste that will one day include our own cheap lives, Henle’s loops and all. '
译:“猜想是它充满证据,显示我们所看重的出生和成长,无所不在且又盲目,显示了生命本身竟低贱到让人吃惊的地步,显示大自然既丰盛而又同样地毫不在乎,还显示了随奢华而来的是一种毁败的耗损,有朝一日将包括我们低贱的生命,亨勒氏襻和其他种种。”
评:crushing取‘使之精神崩溃’的意思,‘我猜想它是芸芸证据... 还显示了随奢侈而来的是一种诛心的浪费,有朝一日将包括我们低贱的生命,连同亨勒氏襻的所有一切。’
[br]
原文:'or I can play the devil’s advocate and call it rank fecundity'
译:“也可以扮演魔鬼的宣扬者而称之为败坏的丰沃”
评: rank这里是贬义上的繁茂,‘可以故意唱反调,称之为野蛮的繁殖力’
[br]
原文:'I have been thinking that the landscape of the intricate world that I have painted is inaccurate and lopsided.'
译:“我一直在想,我为这个错综复杂的世界所描绘的景观,既不准确又不平衡;”
评: ‘我近来在想,我所描绘的这个错综复杂的世界之貌,既不准确又失公允;’
[br]
原文:'in complexity are the fringes of beauty,'
译:“繁复中存有美的边缘”
评: ‘外缘’ ?
[br]
原文:'I myself am not one, but legion.'
译:“我自身也不是单一的,而是一整营队。”
评: 就加注一下也是引用圣经里的。
[br]
原文:' the pressure... that hungers and lusts and drives the creature relentlessly towards its own death.'
译:“让众生饥饿、欲求,使其无情无义地驱向自身的死亡。”
评: ‘生出饥饿、欲求,无情地把众生驱向自身的死亡。’
[br]
原文:'I never met a man who was shaken by a field of identical blades of grass. '
译:“我从未碰到过任何人,为一片长得一模一样的草叶感到震惊不已。”
评: shaken 好像可以更具体一些,‘胆战心寒’
[br]
原文:'that coded cells and mute water pressure have no idea how grandly they are flying in the teeth of it all.'
译:“压根儿不知道它们多么威武地面对这一切危难而往前冲。”
评:‘压根儿不知道它们面对这一切危难一往无前,是如何壮丽之举’
[br]
原文:'you see only a dried chunk of loose wood. '
译:“看到的只是一块干枯的木头。”
评: ‘一块无所依附的枯木’
[br]
原文:'it put forth a few anticipatory shoots '
译:“它居然发出几根预期中的枝芽,”
评: ‘它根据乐观预期还是发出几根枝芽,’
[br]
原文:'that exquisite Asian torture'
译:“那种严厉的亚洲酷刑中,”
评:exquisite 这里略发挥一下:‘细腻得令人发寒的’ ?
[br]
原文:'they gingerly spirited away the soil—under microscopes, I imagine—and counted and measured all the roots and root hairs.'
译:“然后小心翼翼地将泥土弄掉,我猜想是在显微镜下细数所有的根和根毛。”
评:这个spirited用得很有灵性,要译得满的话要加‘施展腾挪大法’: ‘然后小心翼翼地迁走泥土——我猜想是在显微镜下——细数并测量了所有的根和根毛。’
[br]
原文:'In four months the plant had set forth 378 miles of roots—that’s about three miles a day—in 14 million distinct roots.'
译:“这株植物已长出了长达三百七十八英里的根——有一千四百万条相异根,几乎是三英里一天。”
评: ‘这株植物已长出了长达三百七十八英里的根——几乎是三英里一天,根的数目则达到一千四百万条。’
[br]
原文:' those little strands placed end-to-end just about wouldn’t quit. '
译:“若将这一缕一缕的细毛头尾相接起来,恐怕算都算不清楚。”
评: ‘... 那会几乎长(chang2)得没完没了’
[br]
原文:'Rutherford Platt tells the story in The Great American Forest, one of the most interesting books ever written: '
译:“卢瑟福·普拉特是在《伟大的美国森林》(The Great American Forest)一书中写出了这个故事;这本书是历来最有趣的书之一:”
评: ‘卢瑟福·普拉特的《伟大的美国森林》(The Great American Forest)算得上有史以来最有趣的书之一。以下的故事就来自这本书:’
[br]
原文:'All this is very jolly.'
译:“这一切都很令人愉快。”
评: ‘这些故事都让人看得乐呵呵的。’
[br]
原文:'In a town where resourcefulness and beating the system are highly prized, these primitive trees can fight city hall and win.'
译:“在一个极为重视丰富资源和钻制度之空的城镇,这些树可以对抗并打赢市政府。”
评:resourcefulness 大多作‘足智多谋’,但因为前面说到水源,抵抗不了这个现成的双关语: ‘在一个非常看重左右逢源的本事和巧妙应对制度之道的地方,这些原始的树... ’
[br]
原文:'the prospect does not please. Fecundity is anathema only in the animal. “Acres and acres of rats” has a suitably chilling ring to it that is decidedly lacking if I say, instead, “acres and acres of tulips.”'
译:“可是那幅景观并不讨好。繁殖力只有在动物身上才是诅咒。“一亩又一亩的老鼠”这句话听起来活该让人感到不寒而栗,而假如我说“一亩又一亩的郁金香”,则绝对不会产生这种感觉。”
评: ‘可是那景象并不令人合意。只有动物的繁殖力让我们深恶痛绝。“一亩又一亩的老鼠”这句话听起来让人油然地感到不寒而栗,如换成“一亩又一亩的郁金香”,效果则绝对欠奉了。’
[br]
原文:'Lemmings blacken the earth and locusts the air. '
译:“陆地上有密密麻麻的旅鼠,空中有蝗虫”
评:blacken很形象, ‘大群旅鼠让大地变黑,蝗虫则让天空变黑。’
[br]
原文:'As it grows, it sheds its skin like a lobster, '
译:“它一面长大,一面像龙虾般蜕皮,”
评: ‘它生长的过程中像龙虾一样蜕皮,’
[br]
原文:'can leak into the water a million million larvae. How many is that to a human mouthful?'
译:“就可以孵出一万亿个幼虫。对人类的一口而言,那是多少呢?”
评: ‘就可以往水里泻下一万亿个幼虫。这些够人吃多少口呢?’
[br]
原文:'What if God has the same affectionate disregard for us that we have for barnacles? '
译:“假如上帝就像我们对藤壶般,充满情感地对我们一视同仁,又将如何?”
评: ‘我们对藤壶的态度是一种亲切的漠视。假如上帝对我们的态度如出一辙,那又将如何?’
[br]
原文:'or if we the people are essentially as interchangeable as bricks.'
译:“我们人类每一个人都像砖块般无所谓彼此”
评: ‘我们人类基本上像砖块一样可以无差别置换’?
[br]
原文:'I examine the trapezoids of skin covering the back of my hands'
译:“我检视那包在我手背上的梯形皮囊,”
评: ‘我检视自己手背皮肤上一格格细小的梯形,’
[br]
原文:'I have hatched, too, with millions of my kind, into a milky way that spreads from an unknown shore.'
译:“孵化成一片乳白色,散在不知名的海岸边。”
评:想把milky way加进来,‘孵化成一片乳白色,融入散在不知名海岸边的银河。’
[br]
原文:'The egg of a parasite chalcid wasp, a common small wasp, multiplies unassisted, making ever more identical eggs. '
译:“寄生小蜂是一种很普通的黄蜂,不需协助即可繁殖,不断制造出完全相同的卵。”
评: ‘寄生小蜂是一种常见的小型黄蜂,它的卵不需协助即可复制自身,不断制造出完全相同的卵。’
[br]
原文:'As many as two thousand new parasitic wasps will hatch to feed on the host’s body with identical hunger. '
译:“全都一模一样地饥餐寄主的身躯。”
评: ‘全以相同的饥饿以寄主的身躯就餐。’?
[br]
原文:'a lone aphid, without a partner, breeding “unmolested” for one year, would produce so many living aphids that, although they are only a tenth of an inch long, together they would extend into space twenty-five hundred light-years.'
译:“一只单独的蚜虫,没有伴侣,在“不受骚扰”的情况下繁殖一年,虽然独身只有十分之一英寸长,其产下的活蚜虫,会多到加起来可以相当于太空两千五百光年之长。”
评: ‘一只蚜虫凭自己,没有伴侣,在“不受骚扰”的情况下繁殖一年所产下的活蚜虫,数量多到连起来可以达到两千五百光年外的太空中——虽然每只仅有十分之一英寸长。’
[br]
原文:'The intricacy of Ellery and aphids multiplied mindlessly into tons and light-years is more than extravagance; it is holocaust, parody, glut.'
译:“埃勒里鱼和蚜虫漫不经心地繁衍达到吨和光年的程度,其繁复已非奢华,而是大灾难、劣等的模仿、过剩。”
评: ‘将小鱼埃勒里和蚜虫的繁复不假思索地复制到以吨和光年记,这都不是奢华了,而是大杀戮、是大倾销、是荒诞剧。’
[br]
原文:'There is a terrible innocence in the benumbed world of the lower animals, reducing life there to a universal chomp. '
译:“将一切都化为四处皆然的大口咀嚼。”
评: ‘把生命简化成大家吃大家/万物皆可大嚼/进肚。’
[br]
原文:'It is between mothers and their offspring that these feedings have truly macabre overtones.'
译:“这些觅食行为真正阴森可怕的含意,是在于母亲和下一代之间。”
评: ‘确凿具有惊怖阴森色彩的,是发生在母亲和下一代之间的觅食行为。’
[br]
原文:'Sometimes, when a female lays her fertile eggs on a green leaf atop a slender stalked thread, she is hungry. She pauses in her laying, turns around, and eats her eggs one by one, then lays some more, and eats them, too.'
译:“有时候,一只母虫将许许多多丰沃的卵,产在细丝般枝条上长出的叶片上,生产当中它饿了。它暂停生产,转过身去,一个一个将卵吃掉,再产一些,又把它们吃掉。”
评: ‘母虫习于在绿叶上产卵,每只受精卵都安置在一条细如丝线的竖柄上。有时候,它会在生产过程中感到肚子饿。于是它暂停生产,转过身去,一个一个将卵吃掉,再产一些,又把那些也吃掉。’ 建议图片搜索lacewing eggs on plants。
[br]
原文:'she licks until something snaps in her brain, and she begins eating, starting there, at the vulnerable belly.'
译:“直舔到脑子里什么东西突然断掉,它就吃起来了,从这个地方开始,吃那毫无抵抗力的肚子。”
评: ‘直舔到脑子里哪根弦突然断掉,它就开吃了,从那里开始,从那柔弱的肚子开始。’
[br]
原文:'In the death of the parent in the jaws of its offspring I recognize a universal drama that chance occurrence has merely telescoped, so that I can see all the players at once.'
译:“父母死在孩子的口中;在这死亡当中,我认出了一出普通的戏,而那偶尔发生的事件不过将其放大了,让我得以一次看到所有的演员。”
评: ‘父母葬身于孩子腹中:我在这类死亡中认出了一出比比皆是的剧目,而这偶尔发生的事件不过将剧情缩短了,让我得以一次看到所有的演员。’
[br]
原文:'But think of the invisible swelling of ripe eggs inside the pupa as wrapped and rigid as a mummified Egyptian queen! '
译:“然而想想那些成熟的卵,无影无形地膨胀,在那层层包裹着硬如埃及木乃伊女王的虫蛹体内!”
评: ‘然而想想那层层包裹得僵硬如埃及女王木乃伊的虫蛹,想想就在它们体内,在我们看不见的地方,那些成熟的卵渐渐膨胀!’?
[br]
原文:'the young will eat any body in which they find themselves'
译:“幼虫会吃噬任何寄居其中的生物,”
评: 反了吧,‘幼虫寄居在哪个生物里就会吃哪个’
[br]
原文:' It shows that the pressures of growth gang aft a-gley.'
译:“这故事显示生长的压力常会出岔子。”
评:后面这词组查出来自Robert Burns的苏格兰语诗‘To a Mouse’,是 go often awry的意思。
[br]
原文:'sometimes goes into a molting frenzy which Teale blandly describes as “curious”'
译:“这种虫有时会狂乱地蜕皮,蒂尔称之为“怪异”:”
评: ‘... 蒂尔平淡地称此举为“不寻常”’
[br]
原文:'in a scarcely concerned world,'
译:“在一个难得在乎的世界里”
评: ‘在一个关心无几的世界里’?
[br]
原文:'is the survivor of an impossible series of squeaky escapes.'
译:“其实每每逃过了不可思议的一劫又一劫,才存活下来。”
评: ‘其实万分惊险地逃过了一系列劫难,才不可思议地存活下来’ ?
[br]
原文:'First, presumably, the water level of the duck pond has to drop. '
译:“或许鸭池塘的水位得以下降。”
评: ‘推想中,鸭池塘的水位必须下降。’
[br]
原文:'The worm emerges in all its hideous length, up to thirty-six inches, inside the body of the grasshopper, '
译:“虫子以可怕的长度出现在蚱蜢体内,可长达三十六英寸,”
评: ‘虫子那长得可怕的身子就整条出现在蚱蜢体内...’
[br]
原文:'Now the biologists have to go so far as to invoke a “heavy rain,” falling from heaven at this fortuitous moment, in order to get the horsehair worm back into the water where it can mate and lay more seemingly doomed eggs.'
译:“这下生物学家甚至得引发一场“大雨”,恰巧在这个时刻由天而降,好让铁线虫回到水中,在那儿交配并产下更多命运似乎已经注定了的卵。”
评: ‘这下生物学家甚至得在猜想中引发一场“大雨”... 在那儿交配,并产下更多似乎命中无望的卵。’
[br]
原文:'Other creatures have it just about as easy.'
译:“其他生物几乎同样易遭横祸。”
评: 这句反话直译好像不太会有歧义,‘其他生物的日子过得几乎同样轻巧。’
[br]
原文:'But it is for gooseneck barnacles that I reserve the largest measure of awe.'
译:“但是最让我感到敬畏的是鹅颈藤壶。”
评: ‘但是让我奉上最大一份敬畏的是鹅颈藤壶。’
[br]
原文:'jetsam from a larger craft, which Heyerdahl and his crew spotted in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.'
译:“是一架飞机抛下的,在大西洋上为海尔达尔和其船员所看见。”
评:这里想强调巧合之巧: ‘是一艘更大的船抛下的,漂浮在大西洋上,碰巧被海尔达尔和其船员看到。’
[br]
原文:'Are we dealing in life, or in death?'
译:“我们到底是在做生的买卖,还是死的买卖?”
评: ‘我们到底是在和生/命打交道,还是和死/亡(打交道)?’
[br]
原文:'I have to acknowledge that the sea is a cup of death and the land is a stained altar stone. '
译:“我必须承认海洋是一杯死亡。而陆地是座弄脏了的石头祭台。”
评: ‘我必须承认海洋是一杯死亡,而陆地是座污渍斑斑的石头祭台。’
[br]
原文:'We are escapees. '
译:“我们是亡命之徒。”
评: ‘我们都九死一生。’
[br]
原文:'But these aphid eggs—which run less than a dime a dozen, which run absolutely free—can make aphids as effortlessly as the sea makes waves.'
译:“然而这些蚜虫卵——一打都还没有一毛钱大,且绝对地自由自在——这些卵却能像大海制造海浪那般,毫不费力地制造出蚜虫。”
评: ‘然而这些蚜虫卵——一打都不用花一毛钱,不,根本就是不用花钱的——这些卵却能毫不费力地制造出蚜虫,直如大海造浪一般。’
[br]
原文:'Wonderful things, wasted. It’s a wretched system.'
译:“奇妙的东西,却浪费掉了。真是个悲惨的系统。”
评: ‘多好的东西,就白白浪费了。这是一个恶劣的系统。’ 其实‘悲催’也不错但好像太容易时泪。
[br]
原文:'suggested that all of “Nature” could conceivably run on the same deranged scheme. “If indeed she has no greater aim than to provide a home for her greatest experiment, Man, it would be just like her methods to scatter a million stars whereof one might haply achieve her purpose.”'
译:“他认为整个“大自然”很可能全是依循着同样错乱的结构在运行。“假如它最大的目标,确实只不过是要为它最大的实验者——人类——提供一个家,那么依照它做事的方法,很可能本来随便一颗星就能达成它的目的,她却散布了一百万颗星。””
评: ‘他认为整个“大自然”的运行兴许都依循着同样荒谬错乱的逻辑/策略。“假如它的最高目标,确实只不过是要为它最伟大的实验——人类——提供一个家,那一下子撒出一百万颗星的确就是它的做派,尽管单单一颗星指不定就能达成目的了。”’
[br]
原文:'I doubt very much that this is the aim, but it seems clear on all fronts that this is the method.'
译:“但是从任何一个方向来看,很明白地这似乎就是其方法。”
评:‘但不管怎么看,其做派/方法似乎毋庸置疑。’
[br]
原文:'Although there are engineers at the throttles, no one is manning the switches.'
译:“却没有人掌管开关。”
评:这个switch是变轨用的,‘铁路道岔那里却没人管。’
[br]
原文:'There are few enough of them that they can stay out of each others’ paths.
You go to your board of directors and show them what you’ve done.'
译:“这样的数目,它们就可以避开彼此。你去董事会上给他们看你做的事。”
评: ‘它们的数目少到可以避开彼此了。
你向董事会展示你的所为。’
[br]
原文:' It’s a hell of a way to run a railroad.'
译:“用这种方法来经营铁路真是太可怕了。”
评: 这里语气之重好像只能爆粗口了,‘这种经营铁路的方法真他妈的太可怕了。’
[br]
原文:'I had thought to live by the side of the creek in order to shape my life to its free flow. '
译:“我本来想要住在小溪旁边,以便跟随自由的水流来过活。”
评: ‘我本来想要住在小溪旁边,把生活过成那样自由的流动/依照那流水的自由塑造我的生活。’
[br]
原文:'the sun comes up, the creek rolls on, the survivors still sing.'
译:“太阳升起,小溪照流,活着的依旧鸣叫。”
评: 彻底些的排比, ‘太阳照升,小溪照流,活着的照旧鸣叫。’
[br]
原文:'I might have to reject this creek life unless I want to be utterly brutalized.'
译:“除非我希望自己变得彻底地残忍。”
评: 啰嗦些:‘...对残暴习以为常,变得完全麻木不仁。’
[br]
原文:'Either this world, my mother, is a monster'
译:“要不就是这个世界——我的母亲,是个怪物,”
评: 怪物的说法好像还不够恐怖,不知道‘魔鬼’是不是更恰当。
[br]
原文:'we can only try to outwit it at every turn to save our skins.'
译:“只能处处想法斗赢它来度过危难。”
评: ‘为了自保只能处处与它斗智斗勇’
[br]
原文:'We must as a culture disassemble our telescopes and settle down to backslapping.'
译:“我们若是个文化就必须将望远镜拆解掉,安身于拍肩作乐。”
评: As是‘作为’吧,‘我们的文化必须提倡拆除大家的望远镜,多多彼此拍肩,以示亲好。’
[br]
原文:'We little blobs of soft tissue crawling around on this one planet’s skin'
译:“我们是在这单一的星球地表上爬来爬去的软组织东西,”
评: ‘我们是仅在这颗星球地表上爬来爬去的一小团一小团软组织,’
[br]
原文:'that creation itself is blamelessly, benevolently askew by its very free nature, '
译:“创造本身因为其自由的本性而无可怪咎,善意地偏差了,”
评: ‘创造本身无可怪咎,其自由的本性善意地带偏了自己,’
[br]
原文:'The frog that the giant water bug sucked had, presumably, a rush of pure feeling for about a second... I, however, have been sapped by various strong feelings about the incident almost daily for several years.'
译:“被巨型田鳖吸干了的青蛙,可能在头颅变成清汤之前,有那么一秒钟曾生出一股纯净的感觉。而我呢,好几年之久,几乎每天都让因此事而生起的各种强烈感觉给耗损。”
评: sapped ‘抽空’ 可以对应前面被sucked 吸干的青蛙,‘在头颅变成清汤之前,那只被巨型田鳖吸干了的青蛙可能被一股纯粹的情感冲击了一秒钟左右。而我呢,足有好几年之久,因此事而生的各种强烈情感几乎每天都将我抽空。’
[br]
原文:'Our excessive emotions are so patently painful and harmful to us as a species that I can hardly believe that they evolved. '
译:“我们过多的情感对我们这个种类来说,是如此明显地痛苦而有害,难以相信这些情感竟会衍生出来。”
评: ‘对我们这个物种来说,泛滥的情感显然带来了那么多痛苦和伤害,难以相信它们竟会进化出来。 ’
[br]
原文:'emotions that appear to have devolved upon a few freaks as a special curse from Malevolence.'
译:“那些情感似乎是“恶意”所下的特殊诅咒,转移到少数几个怪胎身上。”
评:好像又有点字面游戏。这里devolve对应的是evolve进化,Malevolence对应的是Benevolence: ‘似乎“天地不仁”下了一种的特殊诅咒,把那些情感下放到少数几个怪胎身上。’
[br]
原文:'Imperceptibly at first, and now consciously, I shy away from the arts, from the human emotional stew.'
译:“我避开艺术,人类的七情六欲烹煮出来的,刚开始还不自觉,现在则是有意识的。”
评: ‘我避开艺术,避开那人类的七情六欲一锅烩。这躲避刚开始还不知不觉,现在则是有意识的。’
[br]
原文:'I drive myself deeper and deeper into exile from my own kind. '
译:“并将自己放逐于同类之外。”
评: ‘并将自己放逐于离同类越来越远的地方。’
[br]
原文:'This is the way the world is, altar and cup, lit by the fire from a star that has only begun to die. '
译:“这个世界,包括祭台和杯子,就是以这种方式被一颗正要死去的星星上面的火所照亮。”
评:alter和cup应该代表的是上帝的恩赐和要求的牺牲,即生与死:‘这个世界的本相便是如此,祭台和圣杯并列,被一颗刚刚进入死亡的星星上面的火焰所照亮。’
二刷:前面有说海洋是一杯死亡,大地是斑驳祭台,所以这句比我原来的解读还要dark,是自然死亡和牺牲,即使是圣杯也是poisoned chalice。‘这个世界的本相便是如此,一边是祭台,一边是毒杯,被一颗刚刚进入死亡的星星上的火焰所照亮。’
[br]
原文:'My reservations about the fecundity and waste of life among other creatures is, however, mere squeamishness.'
译:“而我对其他生物之多产及浪费生命所持的保留态度,则只是神经质罢了。”
评: ‘而我对其他生物之多产及生命之浪费所持的保留态度,则只是肠胃太娇气/因恶心反应过于发达’
[br]
原文:'It is true that many of the creatures live and die abominably, '
译:“好多生物确实十分丑恶地生存并死去,”
评: ‘好多生物的生生死死确实可怖可憎’
[br]
原文:'those creatures who are are mercifully unconscious.'
译:“而以那种方式生活的生物并无意识,也算慈悲。”
评: ‘慈悲的是,以那种方式生活的生物并无此意识。’
[br]
原文:'let me pull the camera back and look at that fork in the road from a distance, in the larger context of the speckled and twining world. '
译:“让我把镜头拉回来,把路上的岔口放在满是斑点、缠来绕去的世界里,在这样的背景之中,由远距离观之。”
评: ‘让我把镜头拉远了看那个路上的岔口,以斑驳缠绕的世界为背景观察它。’
[br]
原文:'Extravagance takes on a sinister, wastrel air, and exuberance blithers.'
译:“生命的挥霍染上了一种病态的、浪费的气氛,而丰茂则唠叨不休。”
评:索性也拟人化,‘那奢华染上了浪荡败家子的邪气行色,而丰茂只知呓语妄言。’
[br]
原文:'The rye plant and the Bronx ailanthus are literally killing themselves to make seeds, and the animals to lay eggs.'
译:“那株裸麦和下布朗克斯区的那株樗真正是在自杀以制造种子,而动物则是在自杀以产卵。”
评: ‘为了造出种子,那株裸麦和下布朗克斯区的那株樗真正是在以命相抵,而动物为产卵付出的代价无异。 ’
[br]
原文:'and the point of a goldfish is pizzazz. This is familiar ground. I merely failed to mention that it is death that is spinning the globe.'
译:“而金鱼的作用则是华丽。这是很熟悉的话题。我只差没提到,转动这个球体的是死亡。”
评: ‘而金鱼的意义在于尽态极妍。这都是老话重提了。我只差没提到,是死亡让这个地球旋转/运转。’
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原文:'Nevertheless, the two phenomena are two branches of the same creek, the creek that waters the world. Its source is freedom, and its network of branches is infinite. '
译:“无论如何,这两种现象都是同一条溪流的分支,灌溉全世界的溪流。其源头是自由,其分支的网络无限多。”
评: ‘尽管如此,这两种现象是同一条溪流的分支。这条溪流灌溉全世界,其源头是自由,其分支纵横交错,延申无限。’
[br]
原文:' sips in the same drop a beauty that waters its eyes '
译:“在同一滴水中啜取那浇淋其双眼的美,”
评: ‘在同一滴水中啜取那让它双眼噙泪的美,’ ???
[br]
原文:'We could have planned things more mercifully, perhaps, but our plan would never get off the drawing board until we agreed to the very compromising terms that are the only ones that being offers.'
译:“也许我们当初可以用更慈悲的方式去计划,但是计划会永远停留在制图版上,除非我们接受妥协的条件,而且没有其他条件可谈。”
评:最后这个being应该蛮要紧的,‘也许我们当初制定的计划可以更慈悲,但那计划会永远停留在制图板上,除非我们接受那些极让人委曲的条件——而生存提出的条件就这样,无可变更。’
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原文:'The rest is gravy.'
译:“其他都是意外得来的。”
评: ‘其余的就都是外快了。’ (在付出了这么苛刻的代价换得生命后)?

======================
11. Stalking / 潜行
stalking 这里是有目标的,‘跟踪’可能更合适。
[br]
原文:'they thread them alive and squawking through their beaks’ nostrils, and fly them like living kites at the end of long lines.'
译:“用线穿过小鸟喙上的鼻孔,鸟还活着,叽喳鸣叫,就这样把它们拴在长绳上当活风筝来放。”
评: ‘他们拿还活着,还叽喳乱叫的小鸟,用线穿过小鸟喙上的鼻孔,把它们拴在长绳上当活风筝来放。’
[br]
原文:'The birds fly frantically, trying to escape, but they cannot, and their flapping efforts attract others of their kind, curious'
译:“小鸟疯狂乱飞,想要逃脱,却逃不掉,而用力扑翅则引来同类,好奇而来——”
评: ‘小鸟疯狂乱飞,想要逃脱却逃不掉,而其用力扑翅引得同类好奇而来——’
[br]
原文:'I want to be in the way of its passage '
译:“而我希望身处其通道”
评: ‘我想置身于它来去的路上’
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原文:'I forge my own passage seeking the creature.'
译:“我则打造自己的途径去寻找动物。”
评: 不知怎么想到鲁小哥了... ‘我寻找动物时踩出自己的路。’
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原文:' I think it is fish even more than muskrats that by their very mystery and hiddenness crystallize the quality of my summer life at the creek. '
译:“但是和麝香鼠比起来,鱼甚至让我在溪边的生活更加具体,因为它们既神秘又隐蔽。”
评: ‘但是和麝香鼠比起来,鱼甚至更能够体现/具象夏天时我在溪边生活的性质/是怎么过的,因为它们既神秘又隐蔽。’
[br]
原文:'the fish vanish in a flurry of flashing tails.'
译:“它们就在一阵闪动中消失了。”
评: ‘它们就在一阵尾巴闪动中消失了。’
[br]
原文:'each one washed in a blue like the sky’s and all as tapered as tears.'
译:“每一条都染了一身像天一般的蓝颜色,且全像泪滴般收窄。”
评: ‘每条都濡染了一身像天空般的蓝色,且身形皆如泪滴(般一头尖)。’
[br]
原文:'They disappear and reappear as if by spontaneous generation: sleight of fish.'
译:“它们消失又重现,仿若任其自然而发生的:鱼儿在变戏法。”
评: ‘它们消失又重现,仿若是凭空发生的:大变活鱼的戏法。’
[br]
原文:'The Greek acronym for some of the names of Christ yields ichthys, Christ as fish, and fish as Christ. '
译:“意思是基督现鱼身,或者鱼以基督现身。”
评: ‘鱼即是基督,基督即是鱼。’
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原文:'Still—of course—there is a risk. '
译:“无论如何,仍有风险——这是当然的。”
评: ‘不过风险是有的——这是当然。’
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原文:'It would go and get something from the cattails on the side, and, when it had eaten it—tossing up its beak and contracting its throat in great gulps—it would plod back to a dry sandbar in the center of the creek '
译:“它会到边上的香蒲丛中找些食物,吃了之后——举起喙,收缩喉咙大口吞咽——它会踱回小溪中间一片干燥的沙洲,”
评: ‘它会到边上的香蒲丛中找些食物,扬起喙,收缩喉咙大口吞咽地吃下去,然后踱回小溪中间一片干燥的沙洲,’
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原文:'Mostly it just watched me warily, as if I might shoot it, or steal its minnows for my own supper, if it did not stare me down.'
译:“大部分时间它都小心翼翼地看着我,就好像它若不狠狠地盯着我,我会射杀它,或是把它的小鲦鱼偷来当我的晚餐。”
评:要比“小心翼翼”再凶一点吧 ‘大部分时间它都警惕地看着我,就好像它若不拿眼光压制住我,我会射杀它... ’
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原文:' I actually saw this, I thought—I actually saw a dragonfly laying her eggs not five feet away.'
译:“我觉得自己真的看见它这么做——我真的看见一只蜻蜓在不到五英尺外的地方产卵。”
评: ‘我真的看见了——我心里向自己强调——我真的见证了一只蜻蜓在不到五英尺外的地方产卵。’
[br]
原文:'At any rate, it will be easy enough to watch for this again this summer.'
译:“无论如何,今年夏天应该能够很轻易地再看到这景象。”
评:联系后文是不容易碰上的,‘无论如何,今年夏天应该很容易记得/不太会忘记为此景象留意/关注这景象。’
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原文:'I will just part the curtain of grasses and hope I sleep through the night.'
译:“我会干脆将草丛拨开,而且希望自己晚上能一觉睡到天亮。”
评: ‘我会干脆地将草丛拨开,然后希望自己晚上能安稳地睡到天亮。’
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原文:'like beavers, they exude a scented oil from musk glands under the base of the tail'
译:“一如海狸,它们尾巴底部的麝香腺体会发散一种香油”
评:查了一下到底是河狸还是海狸,看到有这个说法:“海狸香来自河狸(海狸并不生活在海中,而是生活在内陆水系,所以现在其中文正式名是河狸,但香料界还是习惯叫“海狸香”而不叫“河狸香”)腹部的一对梨状腺囊,” https://www.sxlib.org.cn/sefg/zsc/bkzs/202311/t20231115_1128670.htm
[br]
原文:'Its youthfulness and rodent grin'
译:“它的年轻和龇牙咧嘴,”
评: ‘...和专属啮齿类/啮齿类特有的咧嘴笑’ ?
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原文:'But in my surprise at having the light come on so suddenly, and at having my consciousness returned to me all at once and bearing an inverted muskrat, I must have moved and betrayed myself.'
译:“然而,因为光来得那么突然,而我又一下子没完全回过神来,在惊讶之余,我一定移动了身体,暴露了自己。”
评: ‘然而,因为光来得那么突然,而我一下子意识回归,其中还附带了一只仰身的麝香鼠,惊讶之下我一定动了一动,暴露了自己。’
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原文:'That is precisely what happened. I looked up into the channel for a muskrat, and there it came, swimming right toward me. Knock; seek; ask.'
译:“我望向水道,看看有没有麝香鼠,果然来了一只,向我游过来。敲击、追击、问迹。”
评:最后三个动词原译一定费心思了,但可能注释它们来自Matthew 7:7-12,全文“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks.”会更帮助理解。
‘事情的发生正如我所愿:我望向水道看有没有麝香鼠,果然就来了一只,直直地向我游过来。去问、去找、去敲门吧,会有求必应的。’
[br]
原文:'instead, it plied the waters as obviously as an aquaplane. '
译:“而它却像滑水板一般往前进。”
评: ‘然而它却像滑水板一般在水中昭然巡弋。’
[br]
原文:'Because they have a nice dignity, and prefer to have nothing to do with me, '
译:“因为它们有美好的尊严,宁愿不要和我扯上什么关联”
评:联系下面的警惕性,这里的nice可能是考究的意思,‘因为它们有矜持的尊严,可不愿和我扯上什么关联’
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原文:'Here the nests are marked by simple holes in a creek’s clay bank; '
译:“小溪黏土岸边那些简简单单的洞,就是它们的窝;”
评: ‘...就标志着它们的窝;’
[br]
原文:'forgetting as it were to count noses.'
译:“好像老是忘了数鼻头。”
评: ‘老是忘了数/点'鼠'头。’
[br]
原文:' “The muskrat nearing the end of its first month may be thought of as an independent enterprise in a very modest way.”'
译:““我们可以含蓄地把将要满一个月大的麝香鼠的成长,看成是一项独立的冒险。””
评: ‘接近满月大的麝香鼠已经能说是自立门户了——尽管那只是非常小的小门小户/,说得略夸张的话。’
[br]
原文:'a minimum loss of human dignity, such as it is, '
译:“再损失一点点人的尊严,就这样,”
评: ‘再损失极少的人之尊严——如果可说我原本有那个东西的话,’
[br]
原文:'as beside a dinner partner at a crowded table.'
译:“晚餐时坐在同伴身旁,周围一桌子人坐得满满的。”
评: ‘好像它是挤在一桌共进晚餐的同伴之一。’
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原文:'I can easily hang my head over the other side of the bridge, so that when he appears from under me, I will be able to count his eyelashes if I want.'
译:“我可以很容易地把头探出桥的另一边,因此它在我身下出现时,我若是想要,可以细数它的睫毛。”
评: ‘把头探出桥的另一边是很容易的,那样当它在我身下出现时,只要我想,都可以数清它的睫毛。’
[br]
原文:'his beady eyes '
译:“那对珠子般的眼睛”
评: ‘精光闪闪’
[br]
原文:'So I have learned to take it easy on these five-second flings.'
译:“因此之故,我知道那五秒钟的转身不能乱来。”
评: ‘因此之故,我知道那五秒钟的自由活动时间不能玩得太过火/要悠着一点来。’
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原文:'pushing it into his mouth steadily with both forepaws as a carpenter feeds a saw.'
译:“稳稳地用前爪将野草送进嘴里,就好像木匠喂食一把锯子。”
评: ‘速度稳定地用两只前爪将野草推进嘴里,就好像木匠把木料喂进锯子。’
[br]
原文:'chewing off mouthfuls of grass and clover near the base.'
译:“一大口一大口咬下靠近底部的青草和苜蓿。”
评: ‘从接近根部一大口一大口咬下青草和苜蓿。’
[br]
原文:'he repeated the same routine in a businesslike fashion, and returned with another shock of grass.'
译:“这时它以一种有条有理的方式,重复同样的途径,再弄了一捆青草回来。”
评: ‘它一板一眼地重复了同样的流程’?
[br]
原文:'less by actually gnawing than by biting hard near the ground, locking his neck muscles, and pushing up jerkily with his forelegs.'
译:“倒不是真的用咬的方式,而是用力地咬住靠近地面的部分,拉紧了颈部的肌肉,然后用前腿一颤一颤地把身体拉起来。”
评: ‘倒不是真的靠嚼断的方式,而是用力地咬住靠近地面的部分,锁定/固定颈部肌肉,然后前腿发力一耸一耸地往上拔。’
[br]
原文:'After several minutes of rummaging about in the grass at my side, he eased into the water under the bridge and paddled to his den with the jawful of grass held high, and that was the last I saw of him.'
译:“它在我身边的草丛里翻翻弄弄了几分钟以后,缓缓进入桥下水中,划回洞穴,一大口青草举得高高的,这之后就再也看不见它了。”
评: ‘... 缓缓从桥下入水,划回洞穴,过程中一大口青草始终举得高高的。这之后我就再也没看到它了。’
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原文:'The muskrat never twitched.'
译:“那只麝香鼠纹丝不动。”
评: ‘那只麝香鼠安之若素。’ (动作是有的吧)
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原文:'This is one way of describing the energy that comes, using the specialized Kabbalistic vocabulary of Hasidism.'
译:“这也是一种描述的方法,也就是用哈西德教派的卡巴拉专门用语,来描述那种来临的能量。”
评:comes有没有诠释过度?‘这是描述那种自然降临的能量的方式之一,以哈西德教派的卡巴拉专门用语说的。’
[br]
原文:'So I would move or look around or scratch my nose, and no muskrats would show, leaving me alone with my dignity for days on end, until I decided that it was worth my while to learn—from the muskrats themselves—how to stalk.'
译:“因此我会移动身体或四处张望或抓抓鼻子,麝香鼠则一只也不出来,只剩我独自一个,带着我的尊严。连续好几天,直到我决定学习潜行”
评: ‘日复一日,我会移动身体或四处张望或抓抓鼻子,麝香鼠则一只也不出来,把我和我的尊严晾在一边/留我与我的尊严形影相伴。终于我决定学习潜行... ’
[br]
原文:'I continued approaching just to see when he would break. To my utter bafflement, he never broke. I broke first.'
译:“我就继续接近它,看它什么时候会停下来。令我极为迷惑的是,它一直没有停。我先停了。”
评:画蛇添足版: ‘...看它什么时候会忍不下去。令我极为迷惑的是,它一直维持原状,是我先撑不住了。’
[br]
原文:'is to commit myself to a procedure so ridiculous that only a total unself-consciousness will permit me to live with myself.'
译:“唯一的方法就是将自己完全投入一种过程,这过程如此之荒谬,它又全然地不自觉,才能让我受得了自己。”
评: ‘唯一的方法就是将自己完全投入一套荒谬的程式——这程式如此之荒谬,我得完全摒弃自我意识才能让我还能接受/受得了自己。’ (要不会嫌弃得把自己给扔了...)
[br]
原文:'and illustrates the relative power in nature of the word and the sneak.'
译:“并说明了在大自然里,文字和偷偷摸摸者的相对力量。”
评: 因为前面是试图打招呼:‘语言和潜行的力量对比’
[br]
原文:'at the creek I slow down, center down, empty. '
译:“可是在溪边我慢下来,下到中心点,空掉。”
评: ‘可是在溪边我慢下来,中心点下沉,空空如也。’
[br]
原文:'If I freeze, locking my muscles, I will tire and break. '
译:“假如我僵在那儿,肌肉紧缩,我会疲累而终止。”
评: ‘假如我僵在那儿肌肉紧绷,我会疲累,坚持不下去。’
[br]
原文:'I find a balance and repose. '
译:“找到平衡然后休息。”
评: ‘找到平衡,而后停歇在那里’
[br]
原文:'Whatever I see is plenty, abundance. '
译:“无论看到什么,都是众多、丰盈。”
评: 有点递进的意思吧,‘我无论看到什么都足够了,足足有余了。’
[br]
原文:'Living this way by the creek, where the light appears and vanishes on the water, where muskrats surface and dive, and redwings scatter, I have come to know a special side of nature. '
译:“在溪边,光线在水面上出现了又消失,麝香鼠浮现又下潜,红翼鸫四散,我以这种方式住在溪边,因而认识了大自然很特殊的一面。”
评: ‘...红翼鸫四散。我和溪边这一切如此朝夕相处,由此认识了... ’
[br]
原文:'I look to the mountains, and the mountains still slumber, blue and mute and rapt. I say, it gathers; the world abides. But I look to the creek, and I say: it scatters, it comes and goes. '
译:“我向山望去,山仍在沉睡,色蓝且无言且狂喜。我说,它聚拢来;世界是停留不动的。可是我向小溪望去,并说:它散开来,它是来了又去的。”
评:rapt是入迷不会动的那种,‘我望向山,蓝山依然沉眠,哑然而痴醉。我说,它是凝敛的;世界固守静候。而我望向小溪,我于是说,它是发散的,一切来了又去。’ ?
[br]
原文:'A fleeing mockingbird unfurls for a second a dazzling array of white fans…and disappears in the leaves. Shane!…Shane! '
译:“一只正飞去的反舌鸟刹那间展开了耀眼的一排白色羽扇……然后消失在树叶间。贤恩!……贤恩!”
评:注释里说Shane是反舌鸟的叫声,略存疑。
[br]
原文:'Nature flashes the old mighty glance—the come-hither look—drops the handkerchief, turns tail, and is gone. The nature I know is old touch-and-go.'
译:“大自然闪着古老有力的眼神——那种到这儿来的眼色——把手帕丢在地上,逃跑,然后就不见了。我所认识的大自然是个惊险逃脱的老家伙。”
评:‘大自然惯会闪着让人无法抗拒的眼神——那种你来呀的眼色——转而丢下手帕,转身逃跑,消失不见。我所认识的大自然总是岌岌可危一触即离/说变就变。’ ??
[br]
原文:' I find in quantum mechanics a world symbolically similar to my world at the creek.'
译:“我在量子力学里面发现了一片世界,与溪边的世界象征性地相类似。”
评: ‘我发现量子力学的世界和我的溪畔世界,意义上是类似的。’
[br]
原文:'Many of us are still living in the universe of Newtonian physics, and fondly imagine that real, hard scientists have no use for these misty ramblings, dealing as scientists do with the measurable and known. '
译:“我们当中好多人仍活在牛顿物理学的宇宙里,傻傻地想象,这些迷蒙的、乱七八糟的现象,对真正的、严格的科学家没有什么用处,因为这些科学家总是处理那可测量的和已知的。”
评:查fondly,Merriam-Webster 的例句竟然来自Annie Dillard,哈哈哈。‘这些云里雾里漫无边际的闲聊,对真正的、硬核的科学家没有用,因为这些科学家只和可测量的和已知的打交道。 ’
[br]
原文:'we gradually roll back the cloud of unknowing. '
译:“我们便逐渐地卷起那片未知的云。”
评:因为back要紧,啰嗦些: ‘我们逐渐卷起那片未知之云,使它覆盖范围越来越小。’
[br]
原文:'the sparkling equation from whom all blessings flow.'
译:“亦即闪耀的方程式,所有的幸福乃由此流泻而出。”
评: ‘亦即一条闪闪发光的方程式,所有的赐福皆由此流泻而出。’
[br]
原文:'Werner Heisenberg pulled out the rug,'
译:“海森堡[99]将地毡抽掉”
评:这个习语要直接用的话可能要多点context,‘海森堡冷不防把我们脚下的地毯抽走了。’?
[br]
原文:'what stands revealed is the Cheshire cat’s grin.'
译:“露出来的却让人一头雾水。”
评: 这个《爱丽丝梦游仙境》的典故还是蛮有名的,应该可以接近直译再加注,‘露出来的却是柴郡猫那淘气而神秘的笑容。’
[br]
原文:'It is not that we lack sufficient information to know both a particle’s velocity and its position; that would have been a perfectly ordinary situation well within the understanding of classical physics. '
译:“并不是因为我们缺乏足够的资料而无法同时知道粒子的速度和位置,若是如此,则不过是极为平常的情况,能够轻易为古典物理学所了解。”
评: ‘我们无法同时知道粒子的速度和位置并不是因为我们缺乏足够的信息;倘若如此,则不过是极为平常、古典物理学完全能够解释的情况。’
[br]
原文:'saying that the future “may rest on the knees of whatever gods there be.”'
译:“说未来“可能坐在未来那些神的膝头上,不管那是些什么神”。”
评: ‘说未来“可能坐在神的膝头上,不管存在的是什么神”。’
[br]
原文:'And they got there by experimental method and a few wild leaps such as Einstein made. What a pretty pass!'
译:“他们藉着实验的方法,又藉着狂野的跳跃,一如爱因斯坦所为,到达了那个地方。多么美丽的隘口!”
评:pass这里可能有impasse、关卡的双关意:‘他们是藉着科学实验的方法,以及像爱因斯坦那样狂野豪迈的臆测抵达这个境地的。好个关隘!’
[br]
原文:'this valley’s ring of granite mountains is an airy haze of those same particles I must believe. '
译:“而这个山谷里的那一环花岗岩山峦,是同样一群粒子所组成,无实体可言的一片迷蒙——我非得这么想不可。”
评: ‘而这个山谷里的那一环花岗岩山峦,是同样一群粒子组成的一片空荡迷蒙——我不得不如此相信。’
[br]
原文:'the stars which the mountains obscure on the horizon but which catch from on high in Tinker Creek. '
译:“在地平线上因群山而黯淡无光的诸多星星,在听客溪中却凌空闪耀,”
评:catch 也可能‘被捕获’的意思,但对应obscure的话好像是catch fire的意思,‘在地平线上被群山遮拦的诸多星星,于高处时却在听客溪间大放光芒。’
[br]
原文:'You have to stalk the spirit, too.'
译:“神你也得潜近。”
评: spirit ‘圣灵’?
[br]
原文:'Now we rejoice.'
译:“现在我们欢欣鼓舞。”
评: 祈使句?‘这是该欢欣鼓舞的时刻。’
[br]
原文:'It is like the surfacing of an impulse, like the materialization of fish, this rising, this coming to a head, '
译:“仿佛一股冲力之浮现,仿佛鱼之化现,这种生起,这种蓄势待发,”
评:这里的鱼是callback前文说基督即使鱼吧。‘...冲动的浮现...,这种上扬,这种剧变前夕’ ??
[br]
原文:'the very skin on his face shone.'
译:“他脸上皮肤发光。”
评: ‘他脸上的皮肤都在发光。’

======================
12. Nightwatch / 守夜
[br]
原文:'in the middle of a barrage of grasshoppers. '
译:“身处一群川流不息的蚱蜢当中”
评: ‘身处蚱蜢大军的密集火力中。’ 这一页原文用的都是军事比喻。
[br]
原文:'where they have never been in such legions before'
译:“它们在此处从不曾以这样的兵团出现过”
评:‘它们在此处从未这样兴师动众地出现过’
[br]
原文:'I must have seen a thousand grasshoppers, alarums and excursions clicking over the clover, knee-high to me.'
译:“我看到了不下上千只的蚱蜢。咔啦咔啦地在苜蓿间惶惶然,来去远行,那些苜蓿高及膝盖。”
评: alarums and excursions: martial sounds and the movement of soldiers across the stage. used as a stage direction in Elizabethan drama
‘在及膝高的苜蓿中,我看到了不下上千只的蚱蜢到处蹿腾奔袭,咔啦咔啦作响。’
[br]
原文:'They sprang in salvos, '
译:“它们一齐弹起,”
评: ‘它们千炮齐射’
[br]
原文:'They clattered around my ears; they ricocheted off my calves with an instant clutch and release of tiny legs.'
译:“它们在我耳边发出声响,在我小腿上舞蹈,小小的腿瞬间抓紧了又放开。”
评: ‘它们在我耳边喀嚓作响,子弹般地在我小腿上弹飞... ’
[br]
原文:'Swarms of locusts are ordinary grasshoppers gone berserk.'
译:“一群群的蝗虫是发了狂的蚱蜢。”
评: ‘一群群的蝗虫是发了狂的、原本普普通通的蚱蜢。’
[br]
原文:'Stripes and dots appear on the wing-covers; these deepen to a glittering black. '
译:“鞘翅上出现条纹和斑点,颜色会变深,成为闪亮的黑色。”
评: ‘条纹和斑点出现在鞘翅上,继而颜色变深,成为闪亮的黑色。’
[br]
原文:'You now have jars full of plague.'
译:“这下你有一瓶瓶的害虫了。”
评: ‘这下你手中就有瓶装的虫灾了。’
[br]
原文:'In full flight their millions can blacken the sky for nine hours, and when they land, it’s every man to your tents, O Israel. '
译:“蝗虫全在空中时,它们那几百万只,可以将天空遮蔽九小时之久,而当它们降落地面时,每个人都要躲进帐篷。”
评: ‘全部升空时,几百万只蝗虫可以将天空遮蔽九小时之久,而当它们降落地面时,按上帝的旨意,每个人都只能钻帐篷里自保了。’
Israel 意思是 “one who prevails with God” or “let God prevail”
[br]
原文:'Every contour of the land, every twig, is inches deep in bodies, so the valleys seethe and the hills tremble. '
译:“大地的整个轮廓,每一条树枝,都埋在虫体之中寸许深,因此山谷骚动而山丘震颤。”
评:“虫体之中”好像容易产生歧义,‘都被埋在数寸厚的蝗虫之下,因此山谷沸腾、山丘震颤。’
[br]
原文:'Instantly grasshoppers burst all around me, describing in the air a blur of angular trajectories which ended in front of my path in a wag of grasses. As if I were king, dilly-dilly.'
译:“立时之间,蚱蜢在四周蹦出,在空中划出一片模模糊糊、有棱有角的轨迹,最终落在面前小径上,青草摇曳着。就好像我真是君王,太棒了。”
评: ‘立时之间,我的四周迸射出好多蚱蜢,... 让青草簸荡不止。就好像我真的是大王,滴哩滴哩真好真妙/妙哉善哉。’
最后一句来自民谣歌词,https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavender%27s_Blue
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green,
When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen:
[br]
原文:'“Boo,” I said, and it clattered off. '
译:“我说:“噗。”它就劈劈啪啪飞走了,”
评: Boo 是吓人用的声音,‘呱’?
[br]
原文:'The grass bucked and sprang from the impact like a bronc, and the grasshopper rode it down. '
译:“那根草受到冲击,像匹野马,弓起了背再弹回去,而蚱蜢又将它压下。”
评: ‘受到冲击的那根草弓着背弹跳腾挪,直像一匹野马,蚱蜢一直骑在它背上,待它静下来。’
[br]
原文:'The only way I could see them in their cunning was to frighten them in their innocence. '
译:“以它们的狡猾,要想看到它们,唯一的方法就是趁其天真未防时吓唬它们。”
评: ‘想看到它们狡猾的样子’ ??
[br]
原文:'No charm or cleverness of mine could conjure or draw them; I could only flush them, triggering the grossest of their instincts, with the physical bluntness of my passage. '
译:“任我再有法力再聪明,也无法召唤或吸引它们;在我通过时,直截了当地用身体去引发它们最显著的本能。”
评:法力好像不现实? ‘任我再有魅力再聪明,也无法召唤或吸引它们;我只能靠惊动它们让它们显身,重手重脚地一路走过,触发它们最粗笨的本能。’
[br]
原文:'I was exhilarated, flush. I was the serf of the meadow, exalted; I was the bride who waits with her lamp filled.'
译:“我欢天喜地,血脉澎湃。我是草原的农奴,兴奋之极,我是新娘,注满了灯油等待着。”
评:前面是king君王,这里成了serf农奴,对比很有趣。新娘的典故来自Matthew 25:1,寓言里 的十名新娘中的一半带足了灯油等候,成功见到新郎。新郎则可指代圣子。wiki上这篇文章好长。为了略提供一些context,可以加一点点:‘我是准备周全的新娘,注满了灯油等待着。’
[br]
原文:' All around the meadow’s rim the highest trees heaved soundlessly.'
译:“那些最高的树环绕着草原的边缘,无声地喘息着。”
评:因为起风了,heave该取rise and fall rhythmically or spasmodically之意吧,‘草原的四围,那些最高的树无声地摇晃起伏/前仰后俯。’
[br]
原文:'I walked back toward the cottage, maneuvering the whole squadron from one end of the meadow to the other.'
译:“我走回小屋,由草原的一头到另一头,运用策略应付整个部队。”
评: ‘在走回小屋的一路,我调动蚱蜢大军,让它们从草原的一头迁移到另一头。’
[br]
原文:'They always get you in the end, '
译:“它们到头来总会赢你,”
评: 前面因为说自己是个sucker,所以输赢该不算重点,‘总会让你中招的。’
[br]
原文:'harvesting shocks of grass that bristle and droop from his jaws,'
译:“它收割了一束束草,这些草在它的口下纷纷折断枯萎,”
评:droop是下垂吧,对应bristle上翘, ‘...,蓬乱纷披地叼在嘴里’
[br]
原文:'Every kid I see has a circular grid on his forehead, a regular cross-hatching of straight lines'
译:“额头上都有一圈格子印,一个十足的直线图表,”
评: ‘...,一片规则的交叉排线’
[br]
原文:'The Lucas place is paradise enow. '
译:“卢卡斯这地方真称得上是天堂。”
评:‘paradise enow’该是来自E. Fitzgerald翻译的 Rubaiyat: "A Book of Verses underneath the Bough" BY OMAR KHAYAAM 即《鲁拜集》四行诗之一:(网译)
只要在树荫下有一卷诗章, 一壶葡萄酒和面包一方,
还有你,在荒野里伴我歌吟, 荒野呀就是完美的天堂!
[br]
原文:'Now, returning from my foray into the grasshopper meadow, I was back where I started, '
译:“这时候,突击了蚱蜢草原后再回头,又回到原点,”
评: ‘现在,对蚱蜢草原的袭扰结束,我又回归到原点,’
[br]
原文:'the grasshoppers spread themselves again over the wide meadow and hide enfolded in its thickets and plush.'
译:“蚱蜢遍布在广阔的草原上,并给围住,隐身在草原上的灌木丛和一片毛茸茸当中。”
评: ‘...,被那里的灌木茸草包藏其间。’
[br]
原文:' A fling of leafy motion on the cliffs, the assault of real things, living and still, with shapes and powers under the sky—this is my city, my culture, and all the world I need'
译:“悬崖上一阵叶片的摆动、活着的以及静止的,那些真实事物的突袭,以天底下的形状和力量——这是我的城市,我的文化,”
评: ‘悬崖上叶冠迅猛一甩/的抛掷、那些会动的和不动的真实事物,以天穹下的形状和力量扑击而来,——这是我的城市,我的文化,’?
[br]
原文:'this was the oxbow, and the dam spanned its sharpest arc. '
译:“这是个U形弯,此处的水坝呈现最大的弧度。”
评: ‘这是个U形弯,水坝跨越其弧线最紧促处。’
[br]
原文:'before disappearing around the bend under the steep wooded cliff.'
译:“消失在长满树木,陡峭悬崖下的转弯处。”
评: ‘然后在郁葱陡峭的悬崖/的峭壁下,消失在转弯处。’
[br]
原文:'Beyond the terraces, forest erupted again wherever it could eke a roothold on the sheer vertical rock. '
译:“台地再过去,在那险峻的笔直石壁上,一片森林生长在任何可以勉强扎根之处。”
评: ‘...,石壁直上直下,而其任何可以勉强扎根之处,森林再度勃发。’
[br]
原文:'one was big enough to explore long after you have taken the initiatory turns that shut out the light; '
译:“另一个洞穴在开头转了好几个遮去阳光的弯之后,还有够大的地方让你探索许久;”
评: ‘另一个洞穴在开头转了好几个弯、不见天光之后,还有够大的地方让你探索许久;’
[br]
原文:'There were clear trails through the undergrowth—I saw once I was in the thick of it'
译:“矮树丛中有很明显的小径——我一进入茂密之处就看见了”
评: ‘——我深入其中后就看到了。’
[br]
原文:'I had emerged scratched, pricked, and panting in the Lucas peach orchard, which is considerably more conveniently approached by the steep gravel drive that parallels the creek.'
译:“身上给擦伤、刺伤,气喘吁吁,而这个果园,由那条与小溪平行的陡峭碎石子小路前去,要方便得多了。”
评: ‘身上多处擦伤刺伤,气喘吁吁。由那条与小溪平行的陡峭砾石车道前往果园,则方便得多了。’
[br]
原文:'My footfall resounded; the cliffs rang back the sound, and the clover and grasses absorbed it. '
译:“。脚步声引发了回音,崖壁应声而响,苜蓿和青草则吸去音声。”
评: ‘我脚步声引发回响;音波被崖壁回放,被苜蓿和青草吸收。’
[br]
原文:'split, smashed, and warped long past plumb.'
译:“木板皆已裂开、破碎,腐朽至不堪修复。”
评: ‘木板裂的裂、破的破,要不就翘曲得歪歪倒倒了。’
[br]
原文:'roof that vaulted over both the porch and the cottage impartially, lending so much importance to the already huge porch that it made the cottage proper seem an afterthought,'
译:“屋顶各盖住走廊和屋子的一部分,让那已经十分巨大的走廊更显突出,因而正屋本身倒像是后来添上去的,”
评: ‘屋顶不偏不倚地覆盖门廊和屋子,把本来已经十分巨大的门廊捧成了主角,正屋本身倒像是后来想起来再添的,’
[br]
原文:'the contrasting brown patches of weathered inlay curled up in curves like leaves.'
译:“那片褐白对比,经风吹雨打的镶嵌,像叶片般弯弯地卷起来。”
评:‘那片镶嵌本有明暗对比的不同褐色,经风吹雨打,像叶片般弯弯地卷起来。’
[br]
原文:'you could manage (I’ve thought this through again and again—building more spartan mansions, o my soul) a cot, a plank window-desk, a chair (two for company, as the man says), '
译:“放得下(这我彻底地想过一遍又一遍——心中建造过更多的斯巴达式的宅第,啊!我的灵魂)一张小床、一张木板窗桌、一把椅子(如那人所说,两张乃为了友伴),”
评:这里包含两条引用。‘building more spartan mansions, o my soul’ 化自‘Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,’,是Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr "The Chambered Nautilus" 诗的最后一段首句。霍姆斯这首《有室鹦鹉螺》在海伦凯勒的《给我三天光明里》有提到。网上找了最后一段中英对比
哦,我的灵魂,当轻盈的四季匆匆掠过 / 再为你修起更加华丽的大厦
Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul, / As the swift seasons roll!
离开你那鄙陋的过去 / 让每一座新的殿堂都比以往更加华丽
Leave thy low-vaulted past! / Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
让更宽广的拱顶将你与天空相分离 / 直到最后你自由了
Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast, / Till thou at length art free,
让永无休止的生命汪洋为你脱去陈旧的躯壳
Leaving thine outgrown shell by life’s unresting sea!
--
说two for company的则是梭罗,原句是"I had three chairs in my house, one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society."
[br]
原文:'so that my life inside the cottage is mostly Tinker Creek and mud dauber wasps.'
译:“因此我在这屋里的生活大半是听客溪和泥蜂那般的。”
评:‘因此我在这屋里生活的常客是听客溪和泥蜂。’
[br]
原文:'The steers themselves are fattening just five minutes away, up the hill and down into the pasture. '
译:“那些阉牛自己正变肥变胖,在离此五分钟的地方,上了山再下到牧场。”
评:‘那些阉牛们自己正在离此五分钟的地方养肥,上至山坡下至牧场。’
[br]
原文:'the five windows framed five films of the light and living world.'
译:“五扇窗户框住了五部影片的光和活生生的世界。”
评:‘五扇窗户框住了五部关于光和生物世界的影片。’
[br]
原文:'watch the creek lurch over the dam and round the shaded bend under the cliff, '
译:“观看小溪颠簸着流经水坝,转过峭壁,流下林荫的河湾,”
评:‘观看小溪磕磕绊绊地流经水坝,在峭壁下绕过林荫笼罩的河湾,’
[br]
原文:' its body motionless, the picture of adaptive invisibility.'
译:“身体一动也不动,一幅隐身在周遭环境里的景象。”
评:如‘a picture of respectability’-> ‘...像在示范如何适从环境、潜形匿迹。’
[br]
原文:'A female goldfinch suddenly hove into view. She lighted weightlessly on the head of a bankside purple thistle and began emptying the seedcase, sowing the air with down.'
译:“一只母金翅雀忽然抛到眼前。它毫无重量地停在岸边一株紫色蓟冠上,开始掏空种子外壳,将空中撒满了绒毛。”
评: ‘一只雌金翅雀忽然腾入视野。它停驻到岸边一株紫色蓟冠上,轻盈如风。继而,它开始掏空种子外壳,往空中撒满了绒毛。’
[br]
原文:'It shuddered onto the tips of growing grasses, where it poised, light, still wracked by errant quivers.'
译:“它颤抖着落向逐渐长大的草尖上,寻找平衡点,落定,仍然因不稳的颤动而摆荡着。”
评:poise这里可能是hover之意,然后才落下:‘它颤抖着落向生长中的青草,在草尖上悬空片刻,沉落,仍然作辍无常地浑身颤悠。’
[br]
原文:'Is this where we live, I thought, in this place at this moment, with the air so light and wild?'
译:“心想,这就是我们居住的地方吗?此时此地,空气是这么地轻而狂乱。”
评: ‘心想,我们就生活在这里吗?在空气如此轻盈而狂乱的此时此地?’
[br]
原文:'If I myself were lighter and frayed, I could ride these small winds, too, taking my chances, for the pleasure of being so purely played.'
译:“假如我自身变轻并去除外皮,我也可以驾凌这几阵轻风而去,冒着险,只为了给这样纯净地摆弄着的乐趣。”
评:fray和flay搞混了? ‘假如我自身变轻磨散,我也可以驾凌这几阵轻风而去,试试运气,只为这样被纯净地摆弄的乐趣。’
[br]
原文:'The goldfinch here on the fringed thistletop'
译:“四周皆花之蓟顶上的金翅雀”
评: ‘多穗/丝毛状蓟顶上的金翅雀’ ?
[br]
原文:'I vibrated like still water ruffed by wind.'
译:“我像一池静水,让风吹皱并振荡着。”
评: ‘我振荡着,像让风吹皱的一池静水。’
[br]
原文:'I had heard them begin at twilight, and was struck with the way they actually do “start up,” like an out-of-practice orchestra, creaking and grinding and all out of synch. '
译:“有感于它们就那样“唱将起来”的方式,好像一支缺乏练习的乐团,吱吱叽叽且刺耳,且又极为参差不齐。”
评: ‘有感于它们居然有“启动”的过程,好像一支技艺荒废的乐团,吱吱嘎嘎,荒腔走板。 ’
[br]
原文:'The frogs added their unlocatable notes, which always seem to me to be so arbitrary and anarchistic'
译:“我一向觉得这些音符随意且乱成一团。”
评: ‘任意/性而为,毫无章法’?
[br]
原文:'takes on an aura of dogged pluck. '
译:“皆带了一种顽强毅力的气氛”
评: ‘皆泛出一种顽强的胆色’
[br]
原文:'He writes in parentheses: “Some cannot sleep well in a white tent under a full moon.”... I like the way that handy woodsy tip threatens us with the thrashings of the spirit.'
译:“这则有用的林野提示,以精神上的鞭笞威胁我们,我很喜欢。”
评: ‘我喜欢这条林野小窍门的背后,是在以精神上的鞭笞威胁我们。’
[br]
原文:'What percentage of an ounce did that make on my eyes and cheeks and arms, tapping and nudging as particles, pulsing and stroking as waves?'
译:“有几分之几盎司洒向我的眼睛和面颊和双臂呢?像粒子般轻弹并推弄,像浪潮般波动并抚弄。”
评: ‘那意味着有几分之几盎司洒向我的眼睛和面颊和双臂,以粒子轻弹轻触,以波博动抚弄?’ (更点明波粒两相性?)
[br]
原文:'Night risings and fallings filled my mind, free excursions carried out invisibly while the air swung up and back and the starlight rained. '
译:“我满脑子都是夜晚的起起伏伏,空气高高荡起又荡回来,星光落如雨,这时候自由自在的远足无影无形地进行着。”
评: ‘我满脑子都是夜晚的起起伏伏,自由自在的远足正无影无形地进行着,伴随高高荡起又荡回的空气,洒落如雨的星光。’
[br]
原文:'But I knew that sometimes a breath or call stirs the colony, and new forms emerge with wings.'
译:“可是我知道,有时候呼吸或是一声喊叫,都会惊动在此群居的动物,新的形影遂展翅而出。”
评:这里colony不是泛指动物 ‘可是我知道,有时候一记呼吸或是一声喊叫,都会扰动群居在此的水黾,新生翅膀的形影遂倾巢而出。’
[br]
原文:'Migrating, they sail over meadows, under trees, cruising, veering towards a steady gleam in a flurry of glistening wings: '
译:“因为要迁徙,它们越过草原,飞过树下,在一片金光闪闪的翅膀扑动当中,翱翔着,转变方向,变成一道固定的光:”
评:steady gleam 应该是新的水域的反光吧。‘迁徙途中,它们越过草原,飞过树下,巡游四处,在一片闪熠的翅膀扑动当中调转方向,往一道固定的光亮而去。’
[br]
原文:'and this descent that slid down my mind is the fall from a long spring ascent the eels made years ago. '
译:“而这些悄悄溜进我的脑际的,乃多年前春天里,漫长地往上回溯时的鳗鱼。”
评: ‘而这场悄悄溜进我脑际的下降,始于多年前鳗鱼们春季里漫长的回溯;先有攀升,再是跌落/跌落来自那时的攀升/那时的攀升,带来/既定了后来的跌落。’ (descent/ascent的对比是这句的重点吧?)
[br]
原文:'This, the whole story of eels at which I have only just hinted, is extravagant in the extreme, and food for another kind of thought, a thought about the meaning of such wild, incomprehensible gestures.'
译:“鳗鱼的整个故事刚才我只约略地说了一下,这个故事真是极端地铺张,而且可以提供另一种想法,这想法关乎那样狂野、不可解之姿态的意义。”
评: ‘这里我只是再约略不过地说了一下鳗鱼的故事。其整个故事真是极度的铺张扬厉,可以为另一项思考提供素材,思考那样狂野、不可解之举的意义。 ’
[br]
原文:'All you see is a silver slither, like twisted ropes of water falling roughly, a one-way milling and mingling over the meadow and slide to the creek.'
译:“你只看见一片银色滑动,像是如绳索纽绞般的水,猛烈落下,一团往单一方向去的动乱和汇流,在草原上滑向小溪。”
评: ‘你只看见一片溜滑的银色,如被拧成绳索的水流,猛烈落下,一团往单一方向去的攒动和汇流,由草原滑向小溪。’
[br]
原文:'Or would I be seized to join that compelling rush,'
译:“还有,我会不会突然加入那迫人的鱼潮?”
评: ‘或者,会不会生出强烈的念头,迫使我加入那难以抗拒的鱼潮?’ ?
[br]
原文:'Each falling ball seems to trail beauty as its afterimage, receding faintly down the air, almost disappearing, when lo, another real ball falls, shedding its transparent beauty'
译:“每一只落下的球,后头似乎都拖着美,作为其遗留的意象。那意象在空中落下,越来越淡,几乎要消失了。这时,一看,另一个真正的球又落下了,遗落它那透明的美”
评: recede的还是球本身吧,‘每一只落下的球,身后似乎都拖着美作为其残像;它在下落途中越来越模糊黯淡,几乎要消失了,而这时,快看,另一个真正的球又落下了,一径遗落/蜕落它那透明的美’ ?
[br]
原文:'Everybody grab a handle: we’re spinning headlong down.'
译:“个个都抓紧扶手。我们正头朝下脚朝上地转动着。”
评:关键该是down:‘大家都抓紧扶手吧:我们正旋转着头朝下一路下坠。’
[br]
原文:'I am puffed clay, blown up and set down. '
译:“我是膨胀了的黏土,给吹了上去又放下来。”
评:好像女娲造人: ‘我是鼓着气的黏土,被吹起来,再放下来。’
set down 呼应第一章一个女人的疑问:“Seem like we’re just set down here,”“and don’t nobody know why.”
[br]
原文:'I didn’t know, I never have known, what spirit it is that descends into my lungs and flaps near my heart like an eagle rising. I named it full-of-wonder, highest good, voices. '
译:“我名之为充满神奇,极善、声音。”
评: ‘我名之为充满惊叹和好奇心、至高的善、内心的种种声音。’
[br]
原文:'I cannot ask for more than to be so wholly acted upon, flown at, and lighted on in throngs, probed, knocked, even bitten.'
译:“我只能希求对方全面地对我采取行动、飞向我、成群结队地停在我身上、探索我、撞击我,甚至咬我。”
评:尝试恢复被动语态,‘我最大的奢求就是整个人都被施加动作、被飞着撞上、被成群结队地停泊、被探索、被敲击,甚至被咬到。’
[br]
原文:'that pressure of clacking weights on my shoulders,'
译:“那咔咔作响的重量施予我双肩的压力”
评: ‘那咔咔作响地压在我肩头的重量’
[br]
原文:'for being so in the clustering thick of things, rapt and enwrapped in the rising and falling real world.'
译:“并在这升起又坠下的真实世界当中,心中狂喜且全身心投入。”
评: rapt 和enwrap 的同音好像很难复制, ‘沉入且沉迷于这升起又坠下的真实世界。’?

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